Voice of the Neopian Pound Circulation: 114,369,520 Issue: 229 | 23rd day of Awakening, Y8
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Getting Revenge on 'Jocko'

by liquiddragonn


As a Skeith, there are only two things I really enjoy doing: eating and catching some 'Z's. For a good long while, life was good. I slept, I ate, what more could a green Skeith want? Unfortunately, those seem to be the two things that I had the most trouble getting recently. In fact, I haven't had a good meal or a decent night's sleep in two months. There's always some bothersome Neopian thing or creature to give me grief. You would think someone was hired just to give me problems. Probably the worst of these nuisances are those worthless codestones. It's like someone leaves them around on purpose to tell me 'You're fat. Work out.' I know I'm fat! I don't need your stupid stones to tell me that! Then I eat them. Well, the stones I mean. I stopped trying to eat the Neopians a while back. I once almost ate a Uni until I found out they're not as clean and well-groomed as they say they are. But let me say, a high-codestone diet, while satisfying to anger, doesn't make a great, well-balanced diet. As for the other food I find... well, who had the great idea to leave food on the floor! After I pick out the hair and dirt I can usually enjoy the random sandwiches, but let's not even talk about the lollies. These problems managed to annoy me for quite sometime, but my REAL problem happened only a week ago.

     I had just enjoyed a rather large and decent supper of discarded omelette pieces, and was settling down in my usual grove when suddenly, the biggest problem I ever had appeared before my eyes. Well, I didn't actually see too much of him, but he called himself 'Jocko' or 'Janko' or something… Anyway, the next thing you know, he dropped a painting tool on my head, knocking me out, all while screaming 'Something Has Happened!'

     By the time I came to, I was ready to take out some of my Skeithish fury on him! Of course though, he's long gone. I figured I'd chew on some mau and har later to get rid of my annoyance when I realized I was quite thirsty. Being the clever Skeith I was, I always slept near a water source for drinking, bathing, and as a place to toss annoying petpets into. As I leaned over to catch a glimpse of my handsome mug, time suddenly seemed to freeze. I could feel the hairs along my chin and back stand on end. Through my bleary eyes I saw some sort of horrible, blobby bright mess. I figured after I drank and cleared my eyes, I would just eat whatever that horribly discolored thing was. Finally, my eyes cleared up and I let out a horrified gasp. My face look like it had been doodled over by the evil colorblind Chia of doom! For starters, my skin was an unhealthy glaring blue. BLUE of all colors! That's not the worst part. Splotched all over my once beautiful hide were hideous smears of purple and green, and my tail! Don't even get me started on my tail.

     I was a freak, a monster! Then it dawned on me; the paint brush. I remembered hearing those pesky Usul creatures talking about neopets whose fur had changed after being painted, but I just figured it was some sort of sick Usul horror story. That fellow "Jocko" was a fiend, a criminal! After crying a little in the corner, I sharpened my neon pink teeth, stretched out my maroon wings, and decided I would find him if it was the last thing I did. Of course, I remembered to bring my pink Kau plushie; for business purposes. I also rounded up about 560 neopoints for the trip.

      I regret to this day having to leave that little grove, but 'Junko' had to be taken care of, once and for all. For hours, my wings flapped and flapped. After I realized I wasn't getting anywhere, I got up and started the longest walk of my life. It was very hard to assimilate in Neopian society, being a huge, walking neon-colored beach ball. For a while I walked along the outskirts of Neopia, avoiding well populated places to visit some of the lesser towns, such as Roo Island and Kiko Lake. Finally, I had a break! As I was slinking through the dark brush near some place with a giant tree that had brain-like leaves, I noticed there was a carnival going on. Thinking I could buy a little decent food for once, I headed towards it. As I stepped towards a tasty-looking booth named 'Coconut Shy,' I noticed a rather squat looking Mynci talking to a dark figure in the shadows. At first I was very uninterested until I overheard the Mynci thanking the figure for the shipment of 'Halloween Paint Brushes.'

     I let out a roar at the realization that this must be Jocky! Or was it Jukko… Regardless of the name, I hurdled myself towards the pair, but it was too late… He left with a sudden flash. Unfortunately, at that exact moment a codestone appeared and I fell squarely on the unusual 'Test Your Strength' booth the Mynci was working at with a resounding 'DING!'

     "Well well, not bad kid! You didn't pay me the money to play, but I guess I can still let you off with this." The Mynci reached into a barrel and handed me a cookie shaped like a bat. I declined the cookie and picked up the codestone which I proceeded to eat.

      I decided this wasn't the place for me. If I was going to find the guy that turned me into a multicolored disco freak, I was going to have to look everywhere, regardless of how I looked. I searched the Lost Desert and found nothing but sand. On Mystery Island, I asked the Tombola man, but he just ignored me and gave me a codestone, which I quickly ate. I couldn't even understand what they were saying in Krawk Island. Faerieland I avoided altogether. The last time I saw a faerie, she was whining to me about how she couldn't find her red nail polish. How am I supposed to know where she keeps her red nail polish? Perhaps one day I should see what a faerie tastes like. I decided to skip Tyrannia and that new underwater place because I figured he wouldn't bother with a place so old or so new.

      The last place to look was in Neopia Central itself. I entered through the back, to avoid massive attention. I sulked along the sides of the city looking about for a paint brush toting figure when I bumped right into a strange, over-sized plum. I was about to bite into it when it spoke to me.

     "Hiya! I haven't seen you around here before!" I stifled a shriek as the fruit-turned Chia turned to face me. "Why are you cowering back here?" I let out a sigh.

     "Isn't it obvious," I said, pointing to my fur, "I'm a freak. No one would be able to stand looking at me." The Chia looked at me incredulously before bursting out laughing.

     "Man, you are funny! You know as well as I do that to be painted is every pet's dream! You must be the envy of your neighborhood! Take care!" And with that he walked off with a wave.

     For a while, I was dumbfounded with disbelief, and then I glanced around the city. Neopians everywhere with fur of all shapes and sizes were splattered through out the city, like so many splotches on my blue fur. I saw everything, from a Ruki wrapped in tissue paper, to a Gelert that was made entirely of metal. Well, I thought to myself, compared to these guys, I wasn't a freak at all. In fact, maybe this was a pretty cool color. Yeah, I could get used to this. I decided, maybe getting revenge on 'Jimbo' wasn't that important, and headed back home, walking down the center of the main road.

     Now, after two months of this adventure headache, I'm finally back and resting in my grove, the whole neon-splotched, Skeithy me, about to catch my Z's. As I drift off, I smile as I reflect on my journey. It wasn't all that bad. I'm just glad to be able to rest for once. I think that was enough excitement to last me a lifetime. As my eyes start to close, my last glimpse is of a cute baby Bruce leveling a large ray gun right at me...how strange.


The End

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