Stand behind yer sheriff Circulation: 112,982,760 Issue: 225 | 27th day of Sleeping, Y8
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

A Menacing Machine: the Unlikely Suspects Behind It

by mike2003ekim


SPACE STATION - Ever since its incipient arrival to Neopia’s circulating satellite system, a mysterious lever has been causing Neopians far and wide to scratch their heads, wondering what it was. This strange contraption was eventually proclaimed the Lever of Doom, and rightfully so, of course. If ever you have seen the innocent-looking red switch, you would have had the urge to reach out in anticipation, licking your lips and clenching your fists like a young child about to enter a candy store with fifty cents in their pocket.

Then, without any sort of warning, a mechanical hand erupts out from behind this lever, reaches deep into your pocket, and retrieves 100 NP, leaving you in disbelief, feeling absolutely violated. Still, even though this mechanical contraption just stole your hard earned cash, you pull it again, feeling significantly ready this time, about to leap back and attack the hand when it tries to grasp your money. But before you know it, you’ve lost another 100 NP.

As if the thrill of pulling a new lever, filled with curiosity and hope, wasn’t enough for this mechanical menace, an avatar was created and randomly given away to Neopians as their NP were stolen away from them. So many a Neopian entered Virtupets, their pockets filled with gold, with the explicit purpose of losing everything they had gained in the hopes that the hand would give them a badge for the Neoboards, rather than taking their money. Just once…

However, one question has been asked by many concerned Neopians (after they had retrieved their avatar, of course, as the ones still searching were far too busy trying to retrieve it to care about what it was): Who created this hand? Who was the evil genius that decided to create an avatar to gain millions upon millions of NP? Were they planning some sort of trick on the people of Neopia, or plotting some sort of takeover?

Of course, many people immediately pointed the finger at one Dr. Frank Sloth, the highly recognizable king of all things maniacal. If ever a full-throttle Neopian takeover were to be initialized, Sloth would be the first asked. But to think that he would be behind something as petty as this seems unlikely and almost laughable. You see, Dr. Sloth operates in a much more subtle way. However, if Dr. Sloth isn’t the one behind this diabolical hazard, who is? Let’s explore the options that may or may not have come across your mind in your attempts to track down the answer.

Case One: Commander Garoo

The first suspect that we will come across used to call Virtupets home back when Dr. Sloth was attempting to take over Neopia. The Blumaroo Commander who led Sloth’s army to its ultimate demise in the original plot for takeover shows little remorse when it comes to torturing Neopets, and would actually be zealously overjoyed to see so many Neopets frustratingly having their NP stolen, hoping only for a small picture that they can use on the Neoboards.

Indeed, this Blumaroo seems more likely to be the genius behind the Lever of Doom than his former leader. After all, how hard would it be for Garoo to go under cover as an electrician aboard the Space Station, installing something “on the orders of TNT”? Many Neopets, both large and small, board the station every day (of course, more nowadays than before due to the machine in question), so this would not be out of the ordinary.

However, a highly recognizable super-villain such as Dr. Sloth, whose mere name strikes fear into many Neopians, would be much more likely to be intercepted in his endeavors. How effective is a machine that does not even get the chance to cause some sort of confusion, concern, fear, and curiosity in the people of Neopia?

Garoo seems to be culpable of this devious attempt to collect a mass amount of Neopoints from the Neopian economy. After all, he is undoubtedly clever enough to come through with such an incredible machine; how else would Sloth, who is one of the cleverest to traverse Neopia, have given him command of his invading army so quickly when there were many others who would have been sufficient. Commander Garoo seems to be a perfect suspect for the engineering of this lever.

Case Two: The Pant Devil

This demonic specter only rears his ugly head when you least expect it, stealing items from you at his leisure. There isn’t very much that you can do about it, barring of course defeating him in the Battledome (which is not exactly a difficult process). Perhaps the Pant Devil isn’t accessing as much as he could be and wishes to increase his overall profit margin. After all, most people keep their expensive items in their gallery or safety deposit box, and the only way he can obtain these prizes is by waiting in the shadows, emerging at the exact moment that they transfer it between safe places through their inventory.

Perhaps the excessive amount of junk that he has attributed over the years has driven him mad (or more mad than he already was, anyways), and he wanted nothing more than ultimate revenge on the cheap people of Neopia. After all, he must have a mountain of junk that even the Snowager would be jealous of. Ten thousands items priced at one NP a piece doesn’t exactly spin a profit, and so the Pant Devil needed to come up with some other ploy that would net him a useful amount of NP.

Of course, including the Pant Devil as a suspect for the creator of this lever causes us to make some grievously overzealous assumptions. For one, who in this world knows whether or not he is mechanically adept enough to even connect the wires for such a lever, let alone the hidden compartment for the mechanical hand? If this villain were to ever come up with this ploy, it would seem likely that he would be behind the lever with metal over his own hand, reaching out at unsuspecting Neopians and once in a while handing out an avatar. Of course, he would be exceedingly happy to finally find something to create such a steady flow of NP; this is monetary security at its greatest.

Case Three: The Meepits

Every evil plot to take over Neopia, cause terror, or simply steal an impressive amount of NP must include this very popular group of Petpets in its inquiry for the suspect of the heinous act. Behind their adorably large eyes and pink, rotund figures, the Meepits are truly an evil group that should never be overlooked. After all, anything that cute that steps out that barren wasteland known as the Haunted Woods must be evil enough to come up with something this diabolical.

If the everlasting fame that came from being the “bad guy” in the hit game Meepit vs. Feepit wasn’t enough for these little guys, they may have potentially devised something like stealing a huge amount of NP from the people of Neopia. Apparently, TNT isn’t providing enough money to them for their cameo appearances in a variety of games, backgrounds, caption contests, avatars, etc. throughout the site. Perhaps these devious little Petpets are creating machines to elevate themselves to Neopet status, much like Krawks have been able to do when they experienced their ultimate success in discovering the Fungus Cave. However, they may enjoy the apparent undercover status they achieve in continuing their cute outward appearance.

The question that arises with the newly accused Meepit group is whether or not they plan to do anything diabolical with the incredible amount of money that must have come into the machine. Perhaps they plan only to roll around in the massive amount of coins they have come across, or maybe we’re going to be seeing a grossly large number of well-dressed Meepits traversing Neopia. On the other hand, the Neopians from every corner of our world may find themselves in a state of slavery at the hands of some adorably-clad pink Petpets, mercilessly having us work ourselves rampant. Only time will tell.

Case Four: Queen Fyora

For our fourth suspect, we look to Faerieland, bypassing the well-known villain Jhudora, the beloved Rainbow Fountain Faerie (who we know would not need more NP, as she has taken what the Pant Devil does to expensive limits and called them quests), and finally reaching the palace in which the Queen of Neopia resides. Few would consider Queen Fyora, who is in all respects a great ruler, as the menace behind the Lever of Doom, which makes her a perfect suspect.

The perfect Faerie, who gives out quests to lucky Neopians very rarely in exchange for making their pet stronger, also keeps up the Hidden Tower. Since the time of its creation, the Hidden Tower has held treasures of inexplicable magnitude, consisting of perhaps some of the most rare and sought after items in Neopia. Every once in a while, Fyora comes up with a multitude of new products, all of which have monumental price tags. It is unknown whether or not the Queen spins a profit at the Hidden Tower, or indeed how many of each item is even purchased. Perhaps she needs extra resources to support her research of the items, as well as the creation of each item that must be placed on the shelves. After all, substances such as Maractite are indeed quite expensive, and her own brand of magic must also be stamped across each item.

However, with an incredible amount of NP coming from the strange lever within the Virtupets Space Station would provide her with the optimal resources required to continue her labor at the Hidden Tower. Virtupets would be an ideal location for her; after all, no one would ever suspect that any citizen of Faerieland would try to alleviate Neopians of their money so far from their residences. In fact, she understands well that were one to question a Faerie in this endeavor, they would go to the Space Faerie, whose home would probably be considered Virtupets. Queen Fyora had better tread with caution from this point on, as people will now have an eye out for her.

Case Five: Adam and the Neopets Team (TNT)

Of course, when consulting the mastermind behind any ploy, Adam is not exactly the first suspect to come to anyone’s mind, mainly due to the fact that few would consider the asparagus connoisseur capable of such a ploy. However, beneath the comical exterior lies a true evil genius at heart, thinking only of taking Neopia by force in a way that has never been seen before. Perhaps that may be an exaggeration of sorts, however. Although he may not be an evil genius, it is well understood that Adam would do anything to obtain some asparagus, and an excess of NP would help him achieve this goal.

With that in mind, it must be known that TNT has been trying furtively to achieve some sort of process that will reverse the process of inflation, and indeed removing millions of NP from the Neopian economy would do just that. Less Neopoints in the system means that there will be less Neopoints available to purchase items from other people, which in turn drives the prices of many items down, allowing those with less money to purchase some more expensive items.

Of course, it is just like TNT to create an avatar to complement some sort of quasi-evil ploy in an attempt to alleviate the economy. On the other hand, Adam may have devised the mechanical appendage in a twisted pursuit to snag a handful of asparagus from any unsuspecting person who has them lying around. Similarly, he may be pursuing Asparagus Chias instead, and any Neopet of this type would be quickly pulled through the slot from whence the infernal hand extended, hoping not to be consumed by the Neopets moderator (or even worse – join the other four Asparagus Chias he currently owns).

However, as no Asparagus Chias have reportedly been stolen away from their owners, and no one lost out on any asparagus, so it is quite a safe assumption to believe that Adam really has nothing to do with this arm. That being said, the diabolical device may indeed be a sordid invention of TNT designed to control the Neopian economy. If that is so, then TNT should have at least allowed the Neopian public at large the knowledge of what they had in store for our hard earned NP.

With a list of suspects identified as the possible curators of such a demonic device, the people of Neopia can indeed begin a new search for the truth. Although connections can be made to many different Neopians (and perhaps even non-Neopians) these are at best guesses or assumptions that cannot readily be confirmed. The ultimate, unspeakable evil force behind such a ghastly machine may indeed be someone that no one would even dream of suspecting, such as Lisha, who fought so bravely in the Meridell wars, or the waiter at Kelp, who is quite saucy and may not be given a proper salary.

However, no matter who the ultimate culprit is that devised the lever that sits in the Virtupets Station so innocently even to this day, one thing is certain: when the hand stops coming out of the machine when the lever is pulled, Neopia is in for a great amount of devastation. At that point in time, the evil genius behind this heinous machine will have supplied their scheme with the ultimate amount of NP that could ever be needed.

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


The Neo397s
Welcome to the Battledome!

by isaiahdjkim


Neo Nip
Ooh shiny! =o

by loreij


Taking a Sick Day
It was very early in the morning, but a certain Yellow Usul had been awake for hours, preparing. She had a huge math test at school that day and she was determined to miss it...

by saphira361


Tales From Cabin Eight: the Creature in the Cabin
Cabin Eight, however, was the worst of the lot. There seemed to be something about this cabin, a bad aura if you will...

by dan4884

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.