A Menacing Machine: the Unlikely Suspects Behind It
SPACE STATION - Ever since its incipient arrival to Neopia’s circulating satellite
system, a mysterious lever has been causing Neopians far and wide to scratch their
heads, wondering what it was. This strange contraption was eventually proclaimed
the Lever of Doom, and rightfully so, of course. If ever you have seen the innocent-looking
red switch, you would have had the urge to reach out in anticipation, licking
your lips and clenching your fists like a young child about to enter a candy store
with fifty cents in their pocket.
Then, without any sort of warning, a mechanical hand erupts out from behind
this lever, reaches deep into your pocket, and retrieves 100 NP, leaving you
in disbelief, feeling absolutely violated. Still, even though this mechanical
contraption just stole your hard earned cash, you pull it again, feeling significantly
ready this time, about to leap back and attack the hand when it tries to grasp
your money. But before you know it, you’ve lost another 100 NP.
As if the thrill of pulling a new lever, filled with curiosity and hope, wasn’t
enough for this mechanical menace, an avatar was created and randomly given
away to Neopians as their NP were stolen away from them. So many a Neopian entered
Virtupets, their pockets filled with gold, with the explicit purpose of losing
everything they had gained in the hopes that the hand would give them a badge
for the Neoboards, rather than taking their money. Just once…
However, one question has been asked by many concerned Neopians (after they
had retrieved their avatar, of course, as the ones still searching were far
too busy trying to retrieve it to care about what it was): Who created this
hand? Who was the evil genius that decided to create an avatar to gain millions
upon millions of NP? Were they planning some sort of trick on the people of
Neopia, or plotting some sort of takeover?
Of course, many people immediately pointed the finger at one Dr. Frank Sloth,
the highly recognizable king of all things maniacal. If ever a full-throttle
Neopian takeover were to be initialized, Sloth would be the first asked. But
to think that he would be behind something as petty as this seems unlikely and
almost laughable. You see, Dr. Sloth operates in a much more subtle way. However,
if Dr. Sloth isn’t the one behind this diabolical hazard, who is? Let’s explore
the options that may or may not have come across your mind in your attempts
to track down the answer.
Case One: Commander Garoo
The first suspect that we will come across used to call Virtupets home back
when Dr. Sloth was attempting to take over Neopia. The Blumaroo Commander who
led Sloth’s army to its ultimate demise in the original plot for takeover shows
little remorse when it comes to torturing Neopets, and would actually be zealously
overjoyed to see so many Neopets frustratingly having their NP stolen, hoping
only for a small picture that they can use on the Neoboards.
Indeed, this Blumaroo seems more likely to be the genius behind the Lever
of Doom than his former leader. After all, how hard would it be for Garoo to
go under cover as an electrician aboard the Space Station, installing something
“on the orders of TNT”? Many Neopets, both large and small, board the station
every day (of course, more nowadays than before due to the machine in question),
so this would not be out of the ordinary.
However, a highly recognizable super-villain such as Dr. Sloth, whose mere
name strikes fear into many Neopians, would be much more likely to be intercepted
in his endeavors. How effective is a machine that does not even get the chance
to cause some sort of confusion, concern, fear, and curiosity in the people
Garoo seems to be culpable of this devious attempt to collect a mass amount
of Neopoints from the Neopian economy. After all, he is undoubtedly clever enough
to come through with such an incredible machine; how else would Sloth, who is
one of the cleverest to traverse Neopia, have given him command of his invading
army so quickly when there were many others who would have been sufficient.
Commander Garoo seems to be a perfect suspect for the engineering of this lever.
Case Two: The Pant Devil
This demonic specter only rears his ugly head when you least expect it, stealing
items from you at his leisure. There isn’t very much that you can do about it,
barring of course defeating him in the Battledome (which is not exactly a difficult
process). Perhaps the Pant Devil isn’t accessing as much as he could be and
wishes to increase his overall profit margin. After all, most people keep their
expensive items in their gallery or safety deposit box, and the only way he
can obtain these prizes is by waiting in the shadows, emerging at the exact
moment that they transfer it between safe places through their inventory.
Perhaps the excessive amount of junk that he has attributed over the years
has driven him mad (or more mad than he already was, anyways), and he wanted
nothing more than ultimate revenge on the cheap people of Neopia. After all,
he must have a mountain of junk that even the Snowager would be jealous of.
Ten thousands items priced at one NP a piece doesn’t exactly spin a profit,
and so the Pant Devil needed to come up with some other ploy that would net
him a useful amount of NP.
Of course, including the Pant Devil as a suspect for the creator of this lever
causes us to make some grievously overzealous assumptions. For one, who in this
world knows whether or not he is mechanically adept enough to even connect the
wires for such a lever, let alone the hidden compartment for the mechanical
hand? If this villain were to ever come up with this ploy, it would seem likely
that he would be behind the lever with metal over his own hand, reaching out
at unsuspecting Neopians and once in a while handing out an avatar. Of course,
he would be exceedingly happy to finally find something to create such a steady
flow of NP; this is monetary security at its greatest.
Case Three: The Meepits
Every evil plot to take over Neopia, cause terror, or simply steal an impressive
amount of NP must include this very popular group of Petpets in its inquiry
for the suspect of the heinous act. Behind their adorably large eyes and pink,
rotund figures, the Meepits are truly an evil group that should never be overlooked.
After all, anything that cute that steps out that barren wasteland known as
the Haunted Woods must be evil enough to come up with something this diabolical.
If the everlasting fame that came from being the “bad guy” in the hit game
Meepit vs. Feepit wasn’t enough for these little guys, they may have potentially
devised something like stealing a huge amount of NP from the people of Neopia.
Apparently, TNT isn’t providing enough money to them for their cameo appearances
in a variety of games, backgrounds, caption contests, avatars, etc. throughout
the site. Perhaps these devious little Petpets are creating machines to elevate
themselves to Neopet status, much like Krawks have been able to do when they
experienced their ultimate success in discovering the Fungus Cave. However,
they may enjoy the apparent undercover status they achieve in continuing their
cute outward appearance.
The question that arises with the newly accused Meepit group is whether or
not they plan to do anything diabolical with the incredible amount of money
that must have come into the machine. Perhaps they plan only to roll around
in the massive amount of coins they have come across, or maybe we’re going to
be seeing a grossly large number of well-dressed Meepits traversing Neopia.
On the other hand, the Neopians from every corner of our world may find themselves
in a state of slavery at the hands of some adorably-clad pink Petpets, mercilessly
having us work ourselves rampant. Only time will tell.
Case Four: Queen Fyora
For our fourth suspect, we look to Faerieland, bypassing the well-known villain
Jhudora, the beloved Rainbow Fountain Faerie (who we know would not need more
NP, as she has taken what the Pant Devil does to expensive limits and called
them quests), and finally reaching the palace in which the Queen of Neopia resides.
Few would consider Queen Fyora, who is in all respects a great ruler, as the
menace behind the Lever of Doom, which makes her a perfect suspect.
The perfect Faerie, who gives out quests to lucky Neopians very rarely in
exchange for making their pet stronger, also keeps up the Hidden Tower. Since
the time of its creation, the Hidden Tower has held treasures of inexplicable
magnitude, consisting of perhaps some of the most rare and sought after items
in Neopia. Every once in a while, Fyora comes up with a multitude of new products,
all of which have monumental price tags. It is unknown whether or not the Queen
spins a profit at the Hidden Tower, or indeed how many of each item is even
purchased. Perhaps she needs extra resources to support her research of the
items, as well as the creation of each item that must be placed on the shelves.
After all, substances such as Maractite are indeed quite expensive, and her
own brand of magic must also be stamped across each item.
However, with an incredible amount of NP coming from the strange lever within
the Virtupets Space Station would provide her with the optimal resources required
to continue her labor at the Hidden Tower. Virtupets would be an ideal location
for her; after all, no one would ever suspect that any citizen of Faerieland
would try to alleviate Neopians of their money so far from their residences.
In fact, she understands well that were one to question a Faerie in this endeavor,
they would go to the Space Faerie, whose home would probably be considered Virtupets.
Queen Fyora had better tread with caution from this point on, as people will
now have an eye out for her.
Case Five: Adam and the Neopets Team (TNT)
Of course, when consulting the mastermind behind any ploy, Adam is not exactly
the first suspect to come to anyone’s mind, mainly due to the fact that few
would consider the asparagus connoisseur capable of such a ploy. However, beneath
the comical exterior lies a true evil genius at heart, thinking only of taking
Neopia by force in a way that has never been seen before. Perhaps that may be
an exaggeration of sorts, however. Although he may not be an evil genius, it
is well understood that Adam would do anything to obtain some asparagus, and
an excess of NP would help him achieve this goal.
With that in mind, it must be known that TNT has been trying furtively to
achieve some sort of process that will reverse the process of inflation, and
indeed removing millions of NP from the Neopian economy would do just that.
Less Neopoints in the system means that there will be less Neopoints available
to purchase items from other people, which in turn drives the prices of many
items down, allowing those with less money to purchase some more expensive items.
Of course, it is just like TNT to create an avatar to complement some sort
of quasi-evil ploy in an attempt to alleviate the economy. On the other hand,
Adam may have devised the mechanical appendage in a twisted pursuit to snag
a handful of asparagus from any unsuspecting person who has them lying around.
Similarly, he may be pursuing Asparagus Chias instead, and any Neopet of this
type would be quickly pulled through the slot from whence the infernal hand
extended, hoping not to be consumed by the Neopets moderator (or even worse
– join the other four Asparagus Chias he currently owns).
However, as no Asparagus Chias have reportedly been stolen away from their
owners, and no one lost out on any asparagus, so it is quite a safe assumption
to believe that Adam really has nothing to do with this arm. That being said,
the diabolical device may indeed be a sordid invention of TNT designed to control
the Neopian economy. If that is so, then TNT should have at least allowed the
Neopian public at large the knowledge of what they had in store for our hard
With a list of suspects identified as the possible curators of such a demonic
device, the people of Neopia can indeed begin a new search for the truth. Although
connections can be made to many different Neopians (and perhaps even non-Neopians)
these are at best guesses or assumptions that cannot readily be confirmed. The
ultimate, unspeakable evil force behind such a ghastly machine may indeed be
someone that no one would even dream of suspecting, such as Lisha, who fought
so bravely in the Meridell wars, or the waiter at Kelp, who is quite saucy and
may not be given a proper salary.
However, no matter who the ultimate culprit is that devised the lever that
sits in the Virtupets Station so innocently even to this day, one thing is certain:
when the hand stops coming out of the machine when the lever is pulled, Neopia
is in for a great amount of devastation. At that point in time, the evil genius
behind this heinous machine will have supplied their scheme with the ultimate
amount of NP that could ever be needed.