teh 1337est n00zpaper Circulation: 90,555,864 Issue: 166 | 12th day of Storing, Y6
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by christinetran



     I don't know where to begin, or how to start off. I guess I should say thank you first...or perhaps I shouldn't, since you clearly do not know why I am thanking you to begin with. Instead, I shall first say that I'm going to miss you...like the many others who will miss you as well. Must you leave? Must you depart for the unknown? If you do...just to let you know...I'll miss you.

     Stories...such stories you told in the past! Of adventures, of emotions, of uniqueness. Of journeys across vast lands with cowardly Lupes and courageous Lennys, with an occasional kind Grarrl or two. I was captivated by these tales...they took up the rainy days, the cold days, the boring days. All of your stories always managed to capture my attention 'til the very end where I breathe with either relief or pain.

     You helped me to believe that there was more...that many conspiracies exist abroad Neopia. That evil snowballs are evil, and that the Brain and Money Tree are siblings (despite their constant denials...hah...those fakers). You taught me how to play games, how to be rich, how to be poor...how to furnish my Neohome with the most exquisite of dung items. All of your articles...they made me laugh 'til my sides ache. They also made me think 'til I felt like attacking you for making my brain hurt...but despite that...I'm truly going to miss you.

     You might think that you have accomplished practically nothing during your stay here...but you have, you truly have. You made me think crazy or logical thoughts, and you made me cry 'til I ran out of tears. When I heard that you were leaving, my breath stopped...my mind stopped...everything stopped. Was this an end to a truly great journey?

     All of the emotions you made me feel...hate, despair, fear, grief, joy...and now that I think about it...I do not want you to leave...I want you to spin more tales or weave more documentaries that will allow me to learn or feel new things! Neopia...it's an endless land of discoveries...and you would be the most perfect Neopian to go and search for these. And then, after you discover these exciting...things...you would come back and tell us all about them. You would! You should! You shall! You have to! Yet, you don't want to...instead...you opt for the choice of leaving...

     Why are you leaving? Is it because you want to? Is it because you have to? Or is it because you need to? I really don't want you to leave...no...I really don't. Your humour amuses me, your writing ability is flawless...everything about you is perfect. No, you can't leave yet...I don't want you to...nobody wants you to. We'll all miss you too much...

     And yet, you say that you have to go...that you have to leave us. You say that more will come along, and they will create more stories and tales that will simply captivate me. You speak of a new generation...of a new wave...no, don't say that. You can't...you needn't say that.

     Sure...the new ones may come, and they may be tons of times better than you...but you are you...and everything you have done is priceless. No one can replace you...which is why I do not want you to leave...which is why we all don't want you to leave. I know that I may be repeating this more than enough...but we will miss you.

     Now that I think about it...I want to cry and scream and attack Meepits and Weewoos. Not because I'm angry...not because I'm sad. I really don't know what I'm feeling right now...now that I know that you are going. I don't want you to go...nobody wants you to go. And if you don't believe me...well, you have to believe me. It's true.

     And after hearing all of this, you still say that you have to go...and I'll learn to except that (or force myself to learn to accept that...as long as it works, I'll learn it). And when I miss you, I'll read all of your comics to laugh. When I miss you, I'll go through your stories and experience your wonderful way of weaving a tale. When I miss you, I'll skim through your articles and admire your ability at being able to teach me about things that I never knew about. When I miss you, I'll curl down on the floor with a copy of one of your series and cringe each time the words 'To be Continued' appear...

     If you have to go, then I bid you good-bye, and au revoir, and toodly-doo. There is nothing that I can do to stop you, and I know that as much as you do. I just want you to know that you are amazing...priceless...one of a kind. You are one of the three Neopeteers all rolled into one, neat little package...which is why you're departure hurts me so...for not am I losing only one...but I am losing three. Okay, okay...I'll stop...I know that it's hard enough leaving without all of my begging you to not. I also know that this departure is hard on you as well, for while we all only miss one of you (or three), you're missing all of us...

     And if you ever do have time, come visit again! Please! Feel free to visit! We'll welcome you back with open arms or fins or furry paws! We haven't forgotten you, and if we have, we will pretend that we remember you, for that's how precious you are. Yes, you are so precious that we'll pretend that we remember you so that you know that you are a loved writer. Perhaps you may even return to writing once again...but I know that this possibility is practically impossible. Oh, must you leave at the climax of your writing career? I should stop begging, but I can't.

     No one has your ability to make a simple trip to Mystery Island an adventure of dramatic proportions, and no one in the whole of Neopia can portray Fyora as a Sloth Admirer as well as you can (yes, Fyora is a Sloth Admirer. Agree or eat dung!) One of a kind just doesn't cut it...no Neopian, Tyrannian, Haunted Woodian, Maraquan, or Lost Desertin language can describe you perfectly. I might sound weird, or girly, or sissy, but that is a chance that I'm willing to take. Yes, I am taking the chance of being called a sissy just to tell you how much I'm going to miss you...that's how much I care about you snorkle-dums (that's the last time I'll refer to you as that, I promise!)

     Now begone...leave and live your life. Continue writing your entertaining stories and drawing your comics and spinning adventure after adventure...just don't forget us...cause we won't forget you. Of course we can't forget you...and I promise you once more, this is the last time I'm going to say this. I'm going to miss you so much.

     Have fun, and I wish you the best in all of your endeavours and choices and whatever you plan on doing. Just don't forget us, and whenever you miss us...remember...

     We miss you, too. (All right, so I broke my promise, but I really am going to miss you.)

To all the Neopian Times authors who are gone and who will be gone. 'I miss you' just doesn't cut it anymore...

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