Sanity is forbidden Circulation: 155,374,198 Issue: 220 | 16th day of Celebrating, Y7
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by dan4884




     Greetings, my title is LUPE-X9; I am a Robot Lupe serving under the glorious reign of Dr. Sloth. My main function is to find Grundos and recruit them for employment beneath our wonderful leader. It is a very easy job, really. I am required to find a Grundo, and persuade them by any means necessary to join the work force. Most of the time the Grundo comes easily, and not very much persuading is needed.

     Many people wonder how I can record these feelings, such as "easy" and "wonderful." Well, this is because my magnificent master gave me the ability to think. I can keep information on these feelings to make my job even easier. If I have a problem, I can look back into my memories and feelings to see what would solve the problem. It's very simple, really.

     My first Grundo recruit is a great story. It's stored in my memory banks. I can call it up at any time.


     Ah, here it is.


     I stepped out of the rocket transporting us to Kreludor and looked around. There wasn't much to see besides rock. There were peaks rising into the nothingness of space to the left of me, but to the right was where I was headed: the Moon Base on Kreludor. I was sure to hire a Grundo. I began the short walk towards the base and reached it after exactly seventeen minutes. I looked around and decided my first place to look was at the Café Kreludor.

     My eyes adjusted to the dingy café's lighting the minute I stepped inside. I glanced around the room and my target zoomed in on an Orange Grundo at a booth in the corner. I headed over to him and sat down with him.

     "Greetings, Grundo. My title is LUPE-X9, and I'm here to recruit you for work with my glorious master." The Grundo gave me a startled look, and then asked me a question.

     "Who's your master?" he asked, curious.

     "The incredible Doctor Sloth, of course. He is planning an event of momentous proportions and he requires your help."

     "Hmm. I've never heard of this Doctor Sloth," the Grundo told me.

     "Oh, but you will eventually. He is grand and illustrious."

     The Grundo laughed. "Sounds like this Sloth character's a pretty cool guy."

     I nodded. "Oh, yes, he is. So you will come with me?" I asked.

     "Sure, sounds cool. Are we going now?" he asked.

     "Yes, we must leave immediately. Please follow me." We stood up and left the building. I was as ecstatic as a robot could feel, but I kept that under wraps. I didn't think my master would want me looking unprofessional. We entered the rocket, and soon after, we entered the newly created Virtupets Space Station. I smiled when I saw the Grundo looking around, amazed.

     "We need to head to the Grundo employment area for your work assignment," I told him. He nodded and we walked across the Station to a desk where a Robot Aisha was waiting.

     "Yes?" it asked expectantly.

     "LUPE-X9 reporting, with a recruit," I told the Aisha.

     "Excellent. I'll need your name, please," she asked the Grundo.

     "It's Grimilix," he said. The Aisha recorded it, and they walked through a hallway behind the desk.


     Well, that was very exciting. He looked so happy! And since then, I've recruited thousands of Grundos as happy as he is. But now that I think about it, I haven't seen or heard of him since that day. I have decided to search for him. I'm sure I can find the area he is located at.



     That's weird. I've never seen that before. Let me try again.


     Ok, this is strange. I have decided to search for him on my own.

     I'll try this room. Nope, not there. Why can't I find any room with Grundos? This is starting to worry me. I've tried almost every room in the Space Station. I think I'll go speak to someone about this.

     Whoa! A Grundo just popped out of the air vent!

     "Who are you, Grundo? Identify yourself!" I ask him.

     He looks at me and gasps. "You! You're the one who started this whole thing!"

     Why, he's right! It's my first Grundo, Grimilix! But he looks so grungy and tired!

     "Hey, Grimilix! I was just searching for you! How are you? What's been your job assignment?"

     Grimilix stares at me with a stupefied look on his face. "You mean you don't know what they do to us back there?"

     "Er…no, I guess I don't." It was true. I don't know what happens to all of the Grundos behind the walls of the Space Station.

     "We're their slaves!"

     "Slaves? What is that?"

     "We're made to do everything for them! Doctor Sloth, your so-called glorious leader, has made the Grundo race a bunch of servants!" he tells me angrily.

     I cannot wrap my computer around this idea. "I…don't understand. I cannot compute it." How can my leader lie to me?

     "Yeah, well, while you're spending time trying to think of an idea, I'm going to escape. I've gotten this far; I'm not stopping now. Hopefully, I'll never see you again."

     Suddenly, a voice appears. "You needn't worry about that, my little Grundo, because you won't." I can't believe it! It's my leader, Doctor Sloth!

     "Oh, Doctor Sloth, I cannot tell you how amazed I am to meet you! It's a real pleasure!" I tell him. He doesn't even look at me. His eyes are transfixed on Grimilix. I look to Grimilix as well, and notice his face has paled and he's shaking.

     "Come with me, Grimilix," Doctor Sloth says. He snaps his fingers and a mutated Grundo comes out from behind him and grabs Grimilix.

     "Hey!" I shout suddenly. Doctor Sloth turns and for the first time ever, looks at me.

     "Yes, robot?" he asks coldly. I hate to think it, but my master isn't very gracious-looking right about now.

     "Y-you can't just take him! What do you do to Grundos back there?" I was surprising even myself by saying this.

     "I can do whatever I want. Don't tell me what I can do. You are my inferior, and you will act like one!" he tells me angrily.

     "Yes, master," I say, downtrodden.

     "Now, get back to your duties, robot."

     My computers kick in, and I turn to leave when I hear Grimilix shout, "Help! Please!"

     To resist your orders is an extremely hard feat. It takes determination and complete concentration. I couldn't let Grimilix be taken again, but to break free of my programming is impossible. But somehow, I manage to break free of my orders. I run towards the Grundo holding Grimilix and zap him with my energy ray. He howls in pain, and drops my friend.

     "Run, Grimilix!" I say, and Grimilix starts scuttling down the hallway. Doctor Sloth screams and pulls out his blaster. He shoots a couple shots after Grimilix, but by now, he is too far away. Grimilix has escaped, and I'm overjoyed.

     Not for long, though, because the next thing the evil Doctor Sloth does is reach over and deactivate me.

     As I'm shutting down, all I hear is Sloth's horrible, disgusting laugh.


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