Stand behind yer sheriff Circulation: 90,555,820 Issue: 165 | 5th day of Storing, Y6
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Of a Severe Case of Hiccups and Pink Kaus in Green Fields

by shadih_temporary


The Neopets that were placed in the school auditorium immediately cut the chattering when they noticed their principal walking onto the stage before them, a stage with bright red curtains not yet drawn. Their principal was a rather plump red Skeith, and had an awful-looking grey suit on. The Skeith walked up to the podium and cleared his throat.

      "Good day, children," said the Skeith

      "Good day, Principal Hall," said the students, monotonously.

      "Today is that special time of year!" Principal Hall exclaimed gleefully.

      Some of the pets fell asleep.

      "Today is the day that we vote for class president and vice president!" Principal Hall was ecstatic. "And now, the candidates will be introduced,"

      Sherry, a spotted Kau, sat behind the red curtains of the stage. She, along with Lance, a blue Tuskaninny, and Bas, a brown Lenny, were running for class president. This was their big break. Sherry turned her head to realize Bas and Lance were reading something off of a rather messy sheet of paper.

      "I wonder what they're readi--their speeches!" Sherry nearly choked on her own words.

      She leaped out of the folding chair she sat in and zoomed over to her backpack. Sherry quickly opened it, but only to find a bunch of textbooks and binders.

      "I left my speech at home!" Sherry exclaimed. "Okay, try and remember what it said. Um… vote for me… I'll make the school a better place… GAH! I just can't do this!"

      She turned around to spot Bas setting his speech down on a table and heading outside, for reasons unknown.

      "I don't know where he's going," Sherry said, "but this is my only chance,"

      Sherry trotted over to the table where Bas left his speech. She picked it up and read it herself:

      'Hello, fellow students. Vote for me, Bas, and I will ensure your safety in this school. I will also try my best to get a little more class time each day, so that the amount of homework can be reduced. Oh, and you know those Neocola machines that everyone wants on school. I plan to have a little chat with the principal. ;D'

      "Meh, it could use a little tweaking," Sherry folded the speech in half four times, "But it'll do,"

      She took the speech with her as she walked towards the chair she had been sitting in before. Sherry removed a blue pen from her backpack and began copying Bas's speech in her own handwriting. When she was done, Sherry placed Bas's speech on the table he stood by, just as he entered the building again.

      "Hey, Sherry," Bas greeted her, "good luck on this debate,"

      Sherry nodded, laughing nervously. She walked back to her chair, thinking, 'It's not so bad if I copy Bas's speech. I mean… I spent HOURS writing my own, I just left it at home.'

      "And now, please welcome our last candidate running for vice president!" Sherry heard Principal Hall exclaim.

      An energetic Green Gelert ran pat Sherry and pushed the red curtains to the side.

      "Hi," Sherry heard the Gelert begin to speak, "vote for me or I will eat you!"

      After waiting and waiting… and waiting, it was finally time for the pets that were running for class president to speak. The red curtains opened completely, for Sherry, Bas, and Lance.

      "First to speak is… Sherry!" Principal smiled with glee.

      Sherry walked up to the podium at which Principal Hall once stood and placed Bas's speech before her. A red Bruce named Sira and a blue Zafara named Ken sat in the front row of the auditorium, waving and smiling at Sherry. Sira and Ken were Sherry's best friends.

      Sherry waved back, and then cleared her throat. She then gave the exact same speech that Bas had written. While Sherry was speaking, Bas kept glancing back and forth at his speech, noticing that Sherry was giving his speech.

      When Sherry was done, the students who weren't asleep clapped for her. Sherry sat down in the folding chair beside Bas.

      "Sherry!" Bas whispered. "Your speech!"

      Sherry simply smiled and said, "Just a little friendly competition."

      Bas blinked twice, and then rose from his chair, "Be right back." He pushed open the curtains, which has closed after Sherry and the two other candidates exited the back of the stage, and walked behind them.

      "Erm…" Principal Hall stared at the curtains, "I guess Lance will be going next!"

      The Blue Tuskaninny that was to the left of Sherry stood up and walked up to the podium. Sherry began to get curious of what Bas was doing, and pushed the curtains behind her to the side by about an inch. She managed to see Bas opening her lunchbox and pouring all the food that was in it down the only sink behind the stage.

      "My breakfast!" Sherry cried.

      Silence filled the auditorium. Sherry turned around slowly to find every single eye in the auditorium locked onto her. She laughed nervously and walked behind the curtains. She stomped over to Bas and put her nose right up in his face.

      "What are you doing?!" Sherry demanded.

      Bas simply smiled, "Just a little friendly competition."

      "Friendly competition?! You just poured my breakfast down the drain!"

      "Then maybe you should eat it at home, next time,"

      "I was in a hurry to get here!"

      "And yet you still had time to pack it?"

      Bas grinned as he took his leave. Sherry simply stared at the sink, "Jerk."


      The bell rang, and the students in Sherry's 3rd period class arose from their seats and rampaged out of the classroom. They quickly made their way down to the cafeteria.

      "Finally! Lunch!" Sherry cheered, "I'm SO hungry! Especially after that bird-brained Bas dumped my breakfast down some nasty old sink."

      Sira and Ken spotted Sherry, and made their way through the crowd of pets to her.

      "Hi, Sherry," the two greeted her.

      "Can't talk! I have to get me some lunch!" Sherry suddenly said.

      She bolted away from her friends and hopped into the rather long line of pets waiting to be served.

      After a good fifteen minutes had gone by, Sherry arrived at the small, circular table that Sira and Ken were sitting at. She carried a small, styrofoam tray that was bombarded with two cans of Neocola, two humongous slices of cheese pizza, a medium-sized piece of buttered toast, and some strawberry ice cream.

      "Wow," Sira said, wide-eyed, "you sure are hungry!"

      "Yeah, I was forced to skip breakfast," Sherry said, boring her eyes into the back of Bas's head, who was sitting on the other side of the cafeteria.

      She scooped up the two slices of pizza and nearly swallowed them whole. She gulped down a full can of Neocola, followed by the toast and ice cream. She then swallowed the second can of Neocola

      Sira and Ken stared at her in awe. "Okay…" Ken blinked.

      "What? I was starving," Sherry tossed what was left of her styrofoam tray into a nearby trash bin and dapped her mouth with a napkin.

      Suddenly, there was an odd feeling in Sherry's stomach. Her sides tingled a bit, and her mouth suddenly shot open, "Hic!"

      Sira and Ken blinked twice.

      "Hic!" Sherry was shocked.

      She covered her mouth with her hoof and looked around the cafeteria, "Guys! I think I ate a teensy weensy bit too fast… I've got the hiccups! Hic!"

      "Eh, they'll be gone soon," Sira shrugged, biting into an apple.

      "They'd better be! Hic!" Sherry was already annoyed with her case of the hiccups, "I have to go back to the auditorium in a mere hour to give another speech!"

      "Then we need to get rid of your hiccups before that hour is up," Ken placed his hands on his hips.

      "No, ya really think?" Sherry said, sarcastically. "Now, let's go-HIC!-- outside!"

      The trio pushed open the doors of the cafeteria and walked outside.

      "Lunch ends in thirty minutes," Sira told Sherry, "so, we actually have a half an hour,"

      "Then let's get started!" Sherry yelled. "Hic!"

      "Okay, turn around and close your eyes," Ken said.

      Sherry shrugged and did as she was told. Much noise abided as Sherry sat on the grass beneath her, her eyes sealed shut. After a good five minutes had gone by, Sherry opened her eyes and turned around.

      The trees had been splattered with blue paint, and had been shaken to the point where almost all of their leaves had fallen off. There were brooms with toilet paper rolls stuck on them placed all around.

      "This… is the Haunted Woods," Sira said. She grabbed a nearby broom with a green roll of toilet paper attached to the top of it. "And this… is Dr. Sloth,"

      Sherry hiccupped.

      Sira shoved the dummy in Sherry's face, "Boo!" Sherry knocked the broom away, causing the toilet paper head o fall off and roll away.

      "Did it work?! Did you scare her?" Ken asked, frantically.

      Sherry hiccupped, placing her hoof on her mouth, wide-eyed. "This isn't going so well,"

      "Here! Breathe into this paper bag!" Sira suggested. She tossed the brown paper bag that had once carried her lunch to Sherry.

      "No! Hang upside-down from a tree branch and drink some water!" Ken said, pointing to the tree behind him.

      "Nah. Just think of a Pink Kau in a green field!" Sira smiled happily.

      Sherry and Ken stared at her in awe.


      "A Pink Kau in a green field?" Ken blinked.

      "Yeah, because you have to think REALLY hard to actually get the image in your head!" Sira said. "And then, you forget all about your hiccups!"

      "Students," the trio heard Principal Hall's voice over the intercom, "I bring very good news! We will be having our class president debate early! Please report to the auditorium immediately. That is all."

      Sherry, Sira, and Ken simply stared at one another.

      "Hic!" Sherry broke the silence. "What am I going to do?!"

      "Maybe your hiccups will go away before you give your speech?" Ken shrugged.

      "Hopefully," Sherry simply said.

      She made her way back into the school with Sira and Ken tagging right alongside her.


      "Welcome, welcome, welcome!" Principal Hall greeted the entering students while remaining on the stage behind the podium.

      "Good luck!" Sira and Ken called to Sherry as she disappeared behind the stage curtains.

      Sherry sat down in a chair beside Bas and Lance. She took as sip of water out of the conveniently placed water bottle on the table behind her.

      "Hic!" Sherry blurted out. "Grr…"

      Bas smiled evilly, "So, Sherry's got the hiccups, eh?"

      Sherry sighed, "Yes, Bas, Sherry DOES have the hiccups, and she's tried practically everything to get rid of them."

      Bas chuckled.

      "In this debate, questions about what each candidate can and will do for our school will be fired at them," Sherry could hear Principal Hall blabbing to the students.

      "At least I didn't have to write a speech here," Sherry said to herself and sighed. "Hic!"

      "And this time, we will begin with our students running for class president!" Principal Hall exclaimed with more than enough glee, "Please help me welcome… Lance, Sherry, and Bas!"

      "Oh… my… GOSH!" Sherry buried her face in her hooves.

      "C'mon Sherry, let's go," Bas laughed as he made his way to the front of the stage.

      "Ugh, I am SO doomed," Sherry got up from her chair and entered the front of the stage.

      Three chairs were placed behind the podium, along the curtains. Lance, Bas, and Sherry took a seat.

      "First to speak will be… Sherry!" Principal Hall exclaimed.

      Sherry got up from her seat and waved, laughing nervously. She walked up to the podium and hiccupped loudly. Everyone stared.

      "Er… right… now, Sherry, what will you do to make our school a better place?" Principal Hall questioned Sherry.

      "Well, I plan to-Hic! HIC! HIC!!" Sherry slammed her hoof against her mouth, her eyes darting from side to side.

      "Uh…" Principal Hall was speechless.

      "Erm… I… have to go powder my nose!" Sherry said quickly. She bolted behind the curtains and sat down in the same folding chair from before.

      "Well, Sherry will go last, then. Next up, Bas!" Sherry heard Principal Hall say.

      Sira and Ken entered the part of the stage Sherry was in, behind the curtains. Ken had a rather large bucket of something liquid in his hands.

      "Hi guys-HIC!" Sherry laid her head on the table, miserably.

      "Sherry, we're going to try and help you one last time," Sira assured her.

      "How?" Sherry raised her head, "What's in the bucket?"

      Ken smiled, "Strawberry ice cream,"

      Ken pulled the bucket backwards, and then thrust it forward all of a sudden, causing the large amount of melted strawberry ice cream to splash upon Sherry.

      Sherry screamed as she backed up and slammed into the door that led outside, waving her arms around frantically. The door burst open when Sherry backed into it, and she tumbled down the stairs that led from the stage outside. Sherry landed on the soft grass, unharmed.

      Ken and Sira bolted outside, a mirror in Sira's grasp. Sherry moaned as she slowly got up from her position on the ground. She opened her eyes to find herself face-to-face with Sira's mirror. What she saw, was a Pink Kau in a green field.

      "Ugh… oh… my hiccups!" Sherry exclaimed in disbelief. "They're gone!!"

      Sira and Ken smiled. "I told you that whole Pink Kau in a green field thing works!" Sira said.

      "Actually, I think they're gone because you scared me," Sherry blinked, "but thanks a million, either way!"

      And at that, Sherry zipped back inside the school, not even bothering to try and get the strawberry ice cream off of her. She pushed those red curtains to the side to find Principal Hall in the middle of talking to the students.

      "And our new class president is… BAS!" he exclaimed.

      The students in the auditorium clapped softly, and then went back to sleep.

      "Wait!" Sherry cried.

      Everyone turned to look at her.

      "Bas cheated!" Sherry shouted. "Well, in a way. He totally destroyed my breakfast, so that I would eat my lunch really quickly and get the hiccups! That way, I wouldn't be able to give my speech!"

      Principal Hall turned to look at Bas, astounded, "Bas! Is this true?"

      "No!" Bas blurted. "I had NO clue she was going to get the hiccups! Plus, she cheated, too!"

      Principal Hall gasped. The pets in the auditorium listened with much interest.

      "She used MY speech!" Bas was quite frustrated.

      "That's only because I left mine at home!" Sherry slung her head to the side, causing a few drops of strawberry ice cream to splatter upon Bas's brown feathers.

      "Now look what you did!" Bas exclaimed.

      "WELL, I THINK PINK LOOKS GOOD ON YOU!" Sherry spat.

      "Sherry! Bas! ENOUGH! You are BOTH disqualified for cheating!" Principal Hall bellowed.

      Sherry and Bas's jaws fell to the ground, "WHAT?!"

      "And by process of elimination," Principal Hall turned to speak to the students, "our new president is… Lance!"

      Lance, who had been sitting in the chair behind Bas and Sherry, smiled as he walked up to the podium and waved.

      "… NO WAY," Sherry was flabbergasted.

      "This is all your fault, Sherry," Bas sighed.

      "Ya know what, Bas?" Sherry said, gritting her teeth.

      "No!" Bas shouted. "Don't even start! I'm tired of you and your whining! Goodness GRACIOUS! What can I possibly do to-HIC!"

The End

A/N: A special thanks to a certain girl at a certain school for inspiring me to write this story. And a special thanks to a certain teacher at a certain school for giving me a certain amount of time after a certain test to write a certain story. :D

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