A Yurble stole my cinnamon roll! Circulation: 98,662,396 Issue: 167 | 19th day of Storing, Y6
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Neopia: A Material World

by ampolin1


I have been watching the inner-workings of Neopia. I know what pet owners are thinking and doing. And I tell you: I am aghast! I see owners hoarding Neopoints, saving up for unbuyables, and basically scattering the principles of love and devotion to the winds.

I ask you, when did Neopets become about hours and hours of training for your tired pet to become ruler of the Battledome? When did it become more important to buy paintbrushes than good food and toys? At what point did fighting wars become more about getting a trophy than defeating evil? Since when is it better to play games for Neopoints and glory rather than fun?

Wherever I go, I see flocks of people running towards the Money Tree, more and more people begging others for Neopoints, people making galleries just to show off, and so on and so on. I know a poor pet who shall remain nameless, who was painted royal so that her owner could show off even though she was much happier her original blue color. Then there are two brothers, who shall also stay nameless, whose owner made their Neohome so giant and cluttered full of expensive furniture that they haven’t been able to find each other in over a week.

Neopians everywhere need to step back and examine a bit of their materialistic greed. From the Ice Caves to Mystery Island and back over to the Haunted Woods, we all need to begin spending more time having good, cheap fun.

I have concocted and compiled this list of wonderful things you can do with your pets:

1. Let’s begin in the middle of it all: Neopia Central. First, take a trip to the National Neopian and deposit all your Neopoints. You won’t be needing them today. There. Now doesn’t that feel better? As you exit, be sure to glance over at the Hospital, which is just next door. It will make your pet feel so proud and important to help a poor, sick pet. Help the pet inside, console the frenzied owner, and wish them luck and health. Just make sure it isn’t contagious first.

2. While still in Neopia Central, expand your knowledge of the world with it’s cultural side. Take a walk through the Art Centre. There, you can look at masterpieces in the Art Gallery, hear a story over at the Storytelling Competition (or even tell one yourself!), and, of course, don’t leave without picking up the latest issue of the Times.

3. Our adventures will now take us on a relaxing trip to Mystery Island. This is a haven for quality time with your pets without ever reaching into your wallet. First, check out the Tombola . . . not to get free stuff, but to chat with the Tiki Tack Man. He’s had a fascinating life, and is always happy to have pets come by just to talk.

4. Now, stop by the Haiku Generator. When your mind is in a nice, good jumble trying to figure it out, head over to the Beach to really contemplate it among beautiful, relaxing scenery.

5. Find out how the rest of your travels will go at the Hut of the Island Mystic. It’s uncanny how your fortune always seems to come true!

6. You must be getting hungry by now, so head over to Jelly World. Not only is it a barrel of laughs to visit a world that doesn’t exist, but this nonexistent world is made of Jelly!

7. Now that your tummy is full, I hope you’re up for some adventure. Head over to Kreludor, where everyone that visits seems to have an eerie feeling in their stomach. Go over to the Neocola machine and figure out where in the world it came from! I’m sure your pets will love playing detective, and all of Neopia will rejoice that the mystery has been solved. Well, either that or you’ll spark a war the likes of which we’ve never before seen. Ah well. On with our travels.

8. Meridell is a wonderful place to spend a few hours because of the friendly inhabitants. They’re very cheery and love to talk. While there, find out what your pet’s favorite fruit or veggie is and start a garden.

9. Brightvale may not be the first place you think of when you’re trying not to spend Neopoints, but I assure you, you can have a wonderful time. Everything is so gorgeous your entire visit will be like walking through a museum.

10. Soar among the clouds in Faerieland. Fyora gets really bored looking after the Hidden Tower day after day, so please stop by and entertain her. She can tell you fascinating secrets about Neopia that you’ve never even dreamt of.

11. Being scared = having fun! Head over to the Haunted House in the Haunted Woods (where else?) for hours of laughter and screams with your pets. This is a Choose Your Own Adventure type game where you need to make your way through a haunted house. With Halloween just a few weeks away, there’s no way that you can not visit this location.

12. Now that you’re warmed up, it’s time to scare the socks of your pets! Don’t worry, if you’re careful, no one will be hurt. First, put a scarf on and head over to the Ice Caves, where you’ll have no problem locating the Snowager. Creep up very, very softly. Now, you and your pets can sing him a lullaby. You’ll be doing everyone a favor. Not only has that poor creature not had a good night’s sleep in years, but all the truly poor pets of Neopia will finally get their chance at his pile of endless treasure.

13. To warm up, you can take a break at Tyrannia. Once you’re rested, take your pets to the Food Shop there. It’s shaped like a Chomby with an amazing staircase and is extremely fun to climb all over.

14. Now try the Village. It tells you all about Tyrannia and will help you learn things you never knew before.

15. Ever wonder why the Techo at the Ticket Booth on the Plateau always looks so grumpy? Because the poor guy works 24/7! Offer to take over while he sits back and relaxes by the Wheel of Monotony. How hard can it be to stand next to a “sold out” sign anyway?

16. And now, as the day is getting darker, there are still more workers in Neopia that can use your help. Head back to the Soup Kitchen. You see that long line of poor pets? It’s the Soup Faerie’s job to give each and every one a steaming bowl. Why don’t you help out?

17. Next, try the Neopian pound. You don’t have to adopt every sad pet, but you can still help by bringing in some toys to play with. I’m sure that your pets have plenty and wouldn’t mind donating a few.

18. If you’re still in a charitable mood, go to the newbie message boards and give a few clueless Neopians a few tips. It would be wonderful for you to send them a basket of bread, some apple juice, a book, or a cheap toy. Also, I received my first faerie quest as a very new member and didn’t have enough Neopoints to buy the item. An extremely good Samaritan sent me the item, and I haven’t forgotten it since.

19. The day is almost over. By following this list, or even making up your own things to do, I know that you have had a wonderful, productive day without thinking about Neopoints, restocking, galleries, battling, and what not. These are not bad things, but your Neopian experience can’t be tied strictly to them. Before going off to bed, tell all your pets how much you love them. I guarantee that this will be their favorite part of any day.

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