Up-to-date coverage on faerie wars Circulation: 105,637,792 Issue: 210 | 30th day of Gathering, Y7
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Should Neopets Be Taken Care Of?

by blubblub317


Managing and taking care of your Neopets. It’s a topic that’s stirred up debates and discussions among users. For years, people have encouraged it, been opposed to it, or frankly not given a darn hoot. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about it. Oh wait, yes it is, but that’s only because I’m ‘interested’. I’m not going to say that I’m curious because we all know how it ended up with that poor little Meowclops.

So, back to our topic. What exactly is ‘taking care’ of your Neopets? Well, the idea itself is fairly simple. You take a few minutes out of day to feed your pets and play with them as well. This has been obviously known to increase their happiness.

What? Okay, I know, it seems like that sentence should have been longer, but there’s nothing really to add to it. You see, that’s the only result of taking care of your Neopet(s). Their happiness value.

And so now, my first point comes to my mind. What’s the use? I find it very peculiar that my Neopets still somehow remain in such exuberant moods even without having been fed for months (yes, the truth has come out). The only thing I really do is spoil them with pricey paintbrushes and give them nice little petpets. And give those petpets nice little petpetpets. And oh how I wish I could say I give nice little petpetpetpets to my petpetpets but Neopets still hasn’t come around to that.

So why has the Neopets Team created this main idea of feeding your pets to make them happy? Even if they aren’t happy, they don’t starve. But then, they can turn red or blue if they become depressed. But what if you already have a red or blue Neopet? I can imagine that ugly situation.

Some owners who are in doubt but are proud to call themselves lazy simply book their Neopets for long stays at the Neolodge. Pets are automatically groomed, and fed, and taken care of.

But then the main point comes back to mind. What’s the use of all of this?

Well, many people clearly have delusional minds and think that Neopets are living creatures that you have created or adopted and that it’s your responsibility to manage them and take care of them. Pixels do have feelings, right? Right? So why do pets still remain so happy, even where their owners might quit ‘Neopets’? Is there kind of conspiracy brewing in Neopia? Because honestly, I’m not sure Neopets are actually real. They seem to have no sense of life at all. But pixels should have a sense of life, right?

Since my interest was growing even more while I was investigating this mysterious theory, I decided to take a visit to the Neoboards. Even so, we all know how those visits turn out: someone says something to you, you reply back, they say something witty and then burn you, and it goes on and on. Even if that did happen to me, I still managed to get some answers from users about managing their Neopets. I’ve decided to keep their usernames confidential and give them codenames instead, just for their ‘safety’.

Me: Hi Geet. Thanks for taking the time to answer some questions.

Geet: No problem, dude. I’m all in for this feeding fad.

Me: Okay, so do you feed, groom, and play with your Neopets regularly?

Geet: Dude, what are Neopets?

Me: Are you kidding me?

Geet: Lol, yeah, dude! Gosh, you’ve should’ve so seen the look on your face! *sighs* No, but seriously, what are Neopets?

Me: Okay, so I guess you don’t exactly have any. Off to somebody else.

So as you can see, my first interview didn’t go exactly as planned, even though that lunatic told me he was in fact an expert on Neopets. Right. On to the next person, who was a lot more cooperative!

Me: Welcome Porkatinakortaweenturinalopolous! Tell me a bit about your situation with your Neopets!

Porkatinakortaweenturinalopolous: Well, I keep them locked up tight in my bee-yo-tiful warm garden shed. They’re so smart that they made a wundeerful bed out of wires from the rakes I owned. I didn’t even have to buy them a mattress! Their weekly treat is a bone, and their meals consist of some leaves, and a garnish of nutty dung.

Me: Oh gosh. That’s, um, well…how can I say it?

Porkatinakortaweenturinalopolous: Oh, praise me later, honey. Right now, all that matters is my pets. They are the world to me!

Me: Ah, I can…see that. What are their names by the way?

Porkatinakortaweenturinalopolous: Jorje, Molly (he’s very sporty), Jadwidga, and Blurbajhasken!

Me: *scribbles something* Okay, thank you for sharing your wonderful story about you and your family! You guys sound like you truly love each other.

Porkatinakortaweenturinalopolous: Oh yeah, we certainly do. *smiles* Buh-bye.

Me: Okay, I have those pet’s names written now. Someone seriously call the Defenders of Neopia about this.

After two interviews that consisted of mere confusion and insanity, I finally came to a conclusion to this matter that’s been bugging me.

It doesn’t really mater whether you manage your pets or not. You either love them or you don’t. They either live in a home or a garden shed. Families and people are all different. No one could create a world where everyone did the same thing. Not even me!

Maybe the Neopians should do something about this. The ‘taking care’ of your Neopets aspect was never really formatted properly. Neopets are basically immortal. They can never die. They can never starve. They can never have a hair out off place. They never, ever look hungry, even though they oddly signal this.

Like I said before, maybe a conspiracy is brewing in Neopia. If Neopets are immortal, isn’t this a sign that they wipe out the human race and be the real leaders of Neopia? Fear and rage could spread throughout the world, causing devastating effects and damage. Nothing would ever be the same again!

But I’ll cover that in another article. I do have to feed my pets, you know? And play with them. But never grooming. I don’t like hair. It’s evil.

Author’s Note: Thanks for reading my article. If you have any opinions about my opinions, why not give me a shout-out by neomailing me? I know you want to. ;)

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Trapped Within a Dream: Part Three
I am the queen of the world, she thought with no uncertainty whatsoever. No question about it, I officially PWN. I pwn j00, and I pwn j00, and j00 and j00 and j00 as well.

by chibicelchan


The Perfect Petpet
I entered the room to see Foxy, a cute little Christmas Doglefox, sitting and whimpering as Pup, a Christmas Puppyblew, circled around him, making fake lunges and snapping at thin air a couple inches from Foxy's face. Both Ember and Angel looked at me, then both said simultaneously, "Help!"

by wolf_queen3004


ER Dilemma: Spun Out
Many strange things are popping in at the Neopian Central Hospital....what could it mean?

Art by fetedieu

by seadra_princess


Inner Demons
"Katrine, listen to me," Karrie hissed, desperate to wake her sleeping twin, who had fur as grey as the sky she described. "You don't have to be sorry. It wasn't your fault."

by yatomiyuka

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.