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Petpet Pandemonium

by liokeet


The Petpet Lab Ray. The newest gem in the crown of good accounts. I’m about to head over there now, and see what I get:

Nothing happens. It makes a kind of 'zzrrrppptttt' sound before shutting down completely. The creepy Kookith shoos you away and appears quite angry, so you hightail it out of there before he shoots some miniature laser beam at you or something.

Looks like you'll have to come back tomorrow.

Darn. Another bad zap. Well it is quite good compared to some of the other effects that could happen…

Piles of Soot. They look pretty cute at first glance but that pile of blackness actually used to be somebody’s proud petpet! Of course this is all virtual, but what if your dog was suddenly turned into a mound of soot? That wouldn’t be all to fun to play with, albeit requiring much less work than a dog. Avatar collecters like the effect, believe it or not. But other than that… what’s there to look forward to when talking to a Pile of Soot? I’d think a real powerful vacuum cleaner would be needed for cleaning soot.

Poof! Uh-oh. Looks like your petpet has disappeared. Where has it gone though? Seriously, where do petpets go when they disappear? To the grooming shop to be pampered? To a world made entirely of jelly to enjoy a feast? Oh, now I’m being silly! Everybody knows that Jelly World doesn’t exist! *shifty eyes*

Weakenings. Oh no. Your petpet’s favorite toy has just found itself wedged in a tree! The petpet is going to reach it, and… the petpet’s paw slips and your petpet comes tumbling down. The petpet lab ray can lower your petpet’s level, and in turn make it less efficient in the Battledome! If this happens quite often, I’d recommend have the Warf Rescue Team fetch the toy in the tree themselves, not your poor defenseless Kadoatie.

Name changes. Come here, Dragona’s Socks! I mean Times New Roman! I mean Lunch! I mean… whatever that petpet lab ray changed your name to! It is true. The petpet lab ray can change your petpet’s name to a variety of things, including:

Dragona’s Socks

Times New Roman


Pants McGee


Help me eat



Sir Bob of Geraptiku



Pooky McDroolish

Your Ad Here



And many more terrible names.

These names don’t always fit the petpet… Do you really think that a fierce Snomorg really deserves the name “Fluffy?” Or what about that Kadoatie, whose name is now “Kadoatie-wannabe?” These names can scar your petpet for life!

Hold on, hold on! This article has been all about the negatives of the petpet lab ray! What about the positives? What are they supposed to do?

Well I guess it isn’t a fair article without its share of light moments. Let’s take a look at the reasons why you’d hug that cute yet hypnotizingly creepy Scientist Kookith.

Strengthenings. That wretched Purple Petpet Ball has found itself in a tree again. Your prized yellow Hasee is working its way up the tree to get it. You think to yourself, “No! He’ll fall! Call the Warf Rescue Team!” Well, no need for that. Your petpet has gotten its level strengthened, and made it up the tree! Your cute Hasee now has the ball… and it turns out your Hasee is so strong that it breaks the branch that it is on. It comes tumbling down, and your put the Purple Petpet Ball in a securely locked safe. But I think once you realize that your Hasee has single-handedly taken out the Black Pteri that these level-ups are very handy.

Species changes. Does your pet constantly complain that their friend has a rare Halloween Puppyblew, and they’re stuck with an Abominable Snowball? Well watch their faces explode with amazement (not literally) as they see their Abominable Snowball transform into a Tyrannian Puppyblew, and make that Halloween Puppyblew shiver intensely. Unfortunately, detaching the petpet from the pet will only make the petpet revert to how it used to be, so you cannot sell your Tyrannian Puppyblew worth bragging about. But it does make your pet look spiffy, doesn’t it?

The next day is Thursday, and you find out that the PPL of that week is the Tyrannian Puppyblew! Oh, I’m terribly sorry for the inconvience. Any petpet zapped by the Petpet Lab Ray is instantly disqualified from the PPL competition. But you can still brag to that Halloween Puppyblew down the street!

But then suddenly your petpet throws a fuss… Your Tyrannian Puppyblew is tearing up your pet’s special Number Six Plushie. Maybe the colour Pink would be more suitable for your Puppyblew. Here comes another disappointment: zapped petpets are immune to petpet paint brushes. Sorry, you’re stuck with that Tyrannian Puppyblew. Unless you want to have some wishful thinking that it will zap into something else. Or you detach it and would rather have an Abominable Snowball track snow everywhere in your NeoHome.

Some of you reading might be bursting with excitement to go out and get the petpet lab ray. Just remember though, in order to use the petpet lab ray, you must do a few things.

First, you must have access to the Secret Lab Ray. You can do this by buying all 9 pieces of the Secret Lab Ray, all given the name ‘Secret Laboratory Map.’ They cost approximately 450k altogether. Then you must buy all 9 pieces of the Petpet Lab Ray, all titled ‘Petpet Laboratory Map.’ They cost around 150k altogether, but the prices keep on going.

Now the big question that many people are asking: Is the petpet lab ray worth it? It all depends on what you want to use it for. If you’re into profits, maybe this lab ray isn’t for you. Since you cannot sell your zapped petpets, or paint them, or win a PPL Award for them, it would be very difficult to make neopoints off of it. But for those who are interested in having nice looking pets with petpets, get the petpet lab ray. There are hundreds of petpets that you can get, and you may just find one you fall in love with! Imagine the compliments you’ll get when people find you sporting a Grey Cadro, or a Mutant Kadoatie, or a Jelly Meepit… wait. Jelly, did you say?

Yes. Like the Secret Lab Ray, the Petpet Lab Ray has its share of exclusives. This includes rare colours, including Jelly, Chocolate, Gold and Strawberry. You can’t get these colours from petpet paint brushes. You need the petpet lab ray to obtain them. Now where was I?

Oh yes. When people find you sporting an exotic petpet on your pet, you’ll get complimented, and you’ll feel good!

NOTE: This author does not approve of ripping up Number Six Plushies. It is unlawful and deserves strict attention. Anyone found ripping up these rare and coveted plushies shall be TRANSMOGRIFIED!!!

ANOTHER NOTE: This author does not approve of Transmogrification. It is unlawful and deserves strict attention. Anyone found Transmogrifying a precious pet shall have their Number Six Plushie(s) ripped up.

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