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Before Falling Asleep...

by puppy200010


Toss, turn. Refluff your pillow. You have to get to sleep; you've got that big math test tomorrow! So, still tired but awake, what do you do? You go and read the Neopian Times, of course! And luckily for you, there's this article (written by myself, Kebla2001, a werelupe...yes, some werelupes DO like to sleep at normal hours), a list of things you can do while you're waiting to get to sleep.

1. The old classic: count babaas. One babaa, two, three, fou--Ok, you've just had a pillow shoved in your mouth by your awakened (and obviously, irritable) roommate. Well, now they can use this article too! Note: If you go back to counting babaas, make sure you count silently. Unless, of course, you're trying to annoy your roommate, in which case, continue counting out loud! Oh, and go ahead and shove that pillow back in their mouth. I'm sure they want it back.

2. Go downstairs to the kitchen and see if there's anything good to eat. Let's see, there's some jelly and omelette (what a shock, it's not like owners can get them for free daily or anything!). Ooh, there's some fruity jubpops--your owner must have been saving those! Oh well, eat them anyway. (More sugar in your system will definitely help you sleep.) Ew, is that a rotten puntec fruit? Yuck, this is a great reason why your owner should clean out her inventory more often!

3. Squeeze your squeaky kiko toy fifty times in a row or until your roommate grabs it from you and throws it out the door or window. Fetch the toy and repeat as many times as necessary. (But don't worry about waking up your owner, she sleeps like a rock!)

4. Reorganize the items in your "items that make loud noises when moved and will wake up any sleeping pet in the room" gallery. Heh, I knew that collection would come in handy someday!

5. Bounce on top of your bed until you wear yourself out enough to sleep. *boing, crash!* Uh oh, the springs *boing* just gave out! *bounce* Oh well, I'm sure *boing* you can just blame it *boing* on your sleep-*boing*-walking roommate!

6. Play games with your petpet that cause him to bark. Loudly. In your roommate's ear. (No, all of these annoying schemes toward my sister--err, roommate, do NOT stem from a certain incident involving an oddly missing plushie gallery of mine.)

7. Decide that this would be a GREAT time to listen to the music in that new speaker you've just bought for your bedroom. Crank it up, and you can listen to it all night! After all, who doesn't love to listen to the 2 Gallon Hatz in the middle of the night?

8. Pretend to call a truce with your roommate (which she eagerly accepts, hoping to get back to sleep with no more interruptions), then chatter on incessantly with your theory about why you think asparagus and carrots are nemeses and why you think they will take over Neopia when we least expect it.

9. Grab your roommate's pillow when she tries to bury her head in it to escape the noise, and start an involuntary (on her part) pillow fight.

10. See how many times in a row you can slam your bedroom door before your roommate gets up and hits you with their pillow.

11. Then have a real pillow fight.

12. Crawl back into bed with a smug smile on your face while you wait for your sister's alarm clock to go off. Ah, there it goes! If I programmed that right, it should go off every five minutes all night long! At the rate this article is going, it's not like I'll get any sleep anyway!

13. Get up to go play Maths Nightmare while the alarm clock is still going off. Hey, you've got that math test tomorrow, so you should probably study a little bit! Hmm, I wonder what that weird noise is... that sounds like an alarm clock being smashed into a gazillion pieces? Or maybe I just imagined it altogether. It was probably nothing.

14. Go back up to your bedroom and find that it has been split down the middle by your sister, Pangra2000, who is tired (no pun intended) of being woken up and annoyed.

15. Read a nice little bedtime faerietale to your roommate in an attempt to get them to fall back asleep. Give them a huggy bear, too. And maybe you could even be nice and make them some salmon mousse tea!

16. Wait until they fall back asleep, then immediately look out the window and shout that you think that Virtupets is attacking! Oh wait, that was just some dirt on the glass! *sarcastic* Oops!

17. Be screamed at by your utterly frustrated sister, who also has a math test tomorrow! I'm not really paying attention, what's she saying? I'm sure that it's nothing important! *plugs ears and hums tune to drown out enraged screaming*

18. Have your sister take over the writing of this list because--Hey! Wait a second! That's not supposed to be on this list! Hold on a minute, please.

19. Get into a full-fledged argument, screaming and shouting. Uh oh... is that your owner standing in the doorway? You must have woken her up! I guess she's not as much of a sound sleeper as I thought she was... Oh, wow, she doesn't look too happy with either of you, does she? Well, maybe if you're lucky, she'll go back to sleep and just think that this was all a dream!

20. Clean up the ripped pillow, erase the chalk line down the center of the room, put away your gallery of loud items, hide the broken clock, apologize, crawl into bed, and SLEEP! Hey, you can't tell me that this list was useless--bothering your roommate made you just tired enough to finally get to that state of sleep! Oh, but before you nod off... Make sure you rip up this article, since your sister may want to read it later...

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