Before Falling Asleep...
Toss, turn. Refluff your pillow. You have to get to sleep; you've got that big
math test tomorrow! So, still tired but awake, what do you do? You go and read
the Neopian Times, of course! And luckily for you, there's this article (written
by myself, Kebla2001, a werelupe...yes, some werelupes DO like to sleep at normal
hours), a list of things you can do while you're waiting to get to sleep.
1. The old classic: count babaas. One babaa, two, three, fou--Ok, you've just
had a pillow shoved in your mouth by your awakened (and obviously, irritable)
roommate. Well, now they can use this article too! Note: If you go back to counting
babaas, make sure you count silently. Unless, of course, you're trying
to annoy your roommate, in which case, continue counting out loud! Oh, and go
ahead and shove that pillow back in their mouth. I'm sure they want it back.
2. Go downstairs to the kitchen and see if there's anything good to eat. Let's
see, there's some jelly and omelette (what a shock, it's not like owners can
get them for free daily or anything!). Ooh, there's some fruity jubpops--your
owner must have been saving those! Oh well, eat them anyway. (More sugar in
your system will definitely help you sleep.) Ew, is that a rotten puntec fruit?
Yuck, this is a great reason why your owner should clean out her inventory more
3. Squeeze your squeaky kiko toy fifty times in a row or until your roommate
grabs it from you and throws it out the door or window. Fetch the toy and repeat
as many times as necessary. (But don't worry about waking up your owner, she
sleeps like a rock!)
4. Reorganize the items in your "items that make loud noises when moved and
will wake up any sleeping pet in the room" gallery. Heh, I knew that collection
would come in handy someday!
5. Bounce on top of your bed until you wear yourself out enough to sleep. *boing,
crash!* Uh oh, the springs *boing* just gave out! *bounce* Oh well, I'm sure
*boing* you can just blame it *boing* on your sleep-*boing*-walking roommate!
6. Play games with your petpet that cause him to bark. Loudly. In your roommate's
ear. (No, all of these annoying schemes toward my sister--err, roommate, do
NOT stem from a certain incident involving an oddly missing plushie gallery
7. Decide that this would be a GREAT time to listen to the music in that new
speaker you've just bought for your bedroom. Crank it up, and you can listen
to it all night! After all, who doesn't love to listen to the 2 Gallon Hatz
in the middle of the night?
8. Pretend to call a truce with your roommate (which she eagerly accepts, hoping
to get back to sleep with no more interruptions), then chatter on incessantly
with your theory about why you think asparagus and carrots are nemeses and why
you think they will take over Neopia when we least expect it.
9. Grab your roommate's pillow when she tries to bury her head in it to escape
the noise, and start an involuntary (on her part) pillow fight.
10. See how many times in a row you can slam your bedroom door before your
roommate gets up and hits you with their pillow.
11. Then have a real pillow fight.
12. Crawl back into bed with a smug smile on your face while you wait for your
sister's alarm clock to go off. Ah, there it goes! If I programmed that right,
it should go off every five minutes all night long! At the rate this article
is going, it's not like I'll get any sleep anyway!
13. Get up to go play Maths Nightmare while the alarm clock is still going
off. Hey, you've got that math test tomorrow, so you should probably study a
little bit! Hmm, I wonder what that weird noise is... that sounds like an alarm
clock being smashed into a gazillion pieces? Or maybe I just imagined it altogether.
It was probably nothing.
14. Go back up to your bedroom and find that it has been split down the middle
by your sister, Pangra2000, who is tired (no pun intended) of being woken up
15. Read a nice little bedtime faerietale to your roommate in an attempt to
get them to fall back asleep. Give them a huggy bear, too. And maybe you could
even be nice and make them some salmon mousse tea!
16. Wait until they fall back asleep, then immediately look out the window
and shout that you think that Virtupets is attacking! Oh wait, that was just
some dirt on the glass! *sarcastic* Oops!
17. Be screamed at by your utterly frustrated sister, who also has a math test
tomorrow! I'm not really paying attention, what's she saying? I'm sure that
it's nothing important! *plugs ears and hums tune to drown out enraged screaming*
18. Have your sister take over the writing of this list because--Hey! Wait
a second! That's not supposed to be on this list! Hold on a minute, please.
19. Get into a full-fledged argument, screaming and shouting. Uh oh... is that
your owner standing in the doorway? You must have woken her up! I guess she's
not as much of a sound sleeper as I thought she was... Oh, wow, she doesn't
look too happy with either of you, does she? Well, maybe if you're lucky, she'll
go back to sleep and just think that this was all a dream!
20. Clean up the ripped pillow, erase the chalk line down the center of the
room, put away your gallery of loud items, hide the broken clock, apologize,
crawl into bed, and SLEEP! Hey, you can't tell me that this list was useless--bothering
your roommate made you just tired enough to finally get to that state of sleep!
Oh, but before you nod off... Make sure you rip up this article, since your
sister may want to read it later...