As Pleasant as a Bubble's Pop
Recently, a young Kyrii fought bravely to help restore the
kingdom of Maraqua. He was greatly rewarded and afterwards, he returned to the
life he once lived; a life of adventure, a life of never knowing what would happen
the next day.
Well, good for him! Now, let's get on with our
"Oh wow! It's such a nice day outside. I wish
I could go out and play with my friends…" Styan thought to herself as she gazed
longingly out the window of the room. The blue Zafara knew it was a truly magnificent
day out; the sun was shining and several Lupes were lying in its rays, sunbathing.
A Meepit and a Feepit were frolicking in a field of Songflowers, which were
singing merrily. A group of wild Snowbunnies began tap dancing in a chorus line.
It was really a shame that the bars on the windows blocked Styan's view quite
She looked around the room at her friends, most
of whom were bent over reading out of their books (the teacher had earlier assigned
pages 1-200, to be done by the next day). Several students had taken out hand
lenses to read the microscopic text. Styan looked back at her desk and continued
working on her art project; a scale model of the Wishing Well, due one week
from seven days ago. One poor blue Shoyru was nodding off. The teacher, a horrible
red Bruce named Mrs. Featherbeakwingspaws, was instantly upon him. As usual,
she carried her purse; a horrid thing of bright purple and red stripes. She
crept up behind him and removed a small gong from the bag. Holding it right
above his head she tapped it lightly.
GGGGOONNNNNGGG! it went, making the sound that
gongs typically make.
The Shoyru jumped several feet into the air.
Styan wouldn't have doubted it if he'd just had his first heart attack.
"Much better," Mrs. Featherbeakwingpaws said
approvingly. "Jeremy, does your falling asleep mean that you are bored with
the current assignment? Would you like something else to do?"
"Oh Fyora no, I beg of you, Mrs. Featherbeakwingpaws!
I haven't slept in three weeks! No more, please!"
The teacher made her way up to the front of the
room. "Class," she began. "If you'll look under your desks you'll find a copy
of your new reading assignment, The Prunes of Mild Resentment. You'll
need to have it read by next Thursday, and your 5 paragraph essay on what the
Babaa symbolizes to Mr. Quiggle will be due the next day."
Styan took out her book and groaned to herself.
If she had groaned out loud, she would have had to write a short paper on groaning
and its negative effects on the mouth and trachea. Once again, she wished a
dark curse on her owner.
See, Styan's owner and some of her Neofriends
had gotten tired of sitting around waiting for the existence of Neoschools.
It was not as much because they wanted their pets to get educations and become
successful and get good jobs when they got older, and thus, leave the house,
(although that was the ulterior motive of a few parents); it was because they
had spent tens of thousands of Neopoints on school supplies when they first
came out and could think of no occasion when they could possibly need a Punchbag
Sid Backpack. Mira, a friend of Styan's mother, had heard of a women who worked
as a private tutor while she was at the Beauty Salon. Styan could recall the
enthusiastic conversation between the two of them well.
"Oh Trina!" Mira exclaimed to Styan's owner.
"From what I've heard, she's a wonderful women! She has ten children- each of
which she taught herself at home! Four of them are still out of prison! I say
we hire her to teach our children!"
"That sounds like an excellent idea! We should
let the rest of the girls in our book club know! I know most of them were looking
for something for their pets to do over the summer. And what's better than staying
inside all day studying things you may or may not ever use in life?"
The two of them then made a squeal that only
Puppyblews could hear and ran off to send mass Neomails to all their friends.
A week later, Styan and six of her friends started their classes.
Styan snapped back into reality. Or rather, reality
snapped back into her, in the form of a Battle Muffin at her head. She looked
up at Mrs. Featherbeakwingpaws, who gave her a sharp look that said, "Get back
to work!" Styan went back to reading a lengthy description of a Flippy crossing
Suddenly, she heard a loud BANG! Looking up from
her book, she saw Mrs. Featherbeakwingpaws collapsed over on her desk, and the
desk was slowly giving way to her weight. Afraid this may be some sort of test
(anything was possible with Mrs. Featherbeakwingpaws), no one left his or her
seats. Finally, a Purple Bori started laughing uncontrollably. He got out of
his seat and walked up to the teacher's desk and cautiously bent over and peered
at her. Then he began laughing again.
"What's so funny, Avat?" Jeremy asked.
"Well, when Mrs. Fatbarbaricwhineypants came
back to wake you up, I slipped a poison dart in her purse hoping she'd accidentally
stab herself when she was going through it. It seems she thought it was a pen
and when she realized it didn't work, she put it behind her ear and accidentally
stabbed herself in the head and now she's out cold."
A huge wave of relief ran over the seven pets.
It was like you were innocently walking down the streets of Neopia Central when
someone came up to you with a gun and threatened you, and then they pulled the
trigger and you discovered it's just a bubble gun and you hear a pleasant pop
and you now have clean ears.
It then came to the minds of the youngsters that
they were free, at least for the time being. They were in a room, without their
parents, with their evil teacher who struck terror in their hearts and minds
and made them wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat reciting the
rules about subject verb agreements was passed out in the front of the classroom.
"Soo…now what do we do?" Jeremy asked. "I mean,
since we are temporarily free from the teacher who strikes terror into our hearts
"And who makes us wake up in the middle of the
night in cold sweats reciting the seven pillars of character?" added a Ruki
The others stared at him. "Well, there's one
species better left undiscovered." Avat said. "So now what should we do?"
"Got any threes?"
"No, go fish."
Avat drew and added another card to his already
pitifully large hand.
"Hey, did it occur to anyone else that maybe
we should try escaping?" Styan asked.
"But how? There's bars on the windows and none
of us have thumbs to turn the knob on the door." Jeremy pointed out as all the
pets look down at their wings, talons, and paws with only four fingers.
"Does your owner know what Mrs. F did to your
Living Room, changing it all like this?" Styan asked Jeremy.
"Yes. She thinks it's lovely and she's looking
for furniture to make it a theme room."
"Your owner! She's home right now!" Emlo exclaimed.
"Yes, but I don't think getting my mom in here
and telling her that we drugged our teacher and now we're bored is a good idea."
"AHHHHHH!!!" Emlo started screaming. "AAAAAHHHHHH!!"
The others just stared at him. Well, six of the
others just stared at him. One pet, a Skeith, was not really entertained by
the scene currently in progress in front of him and was counting the tiles on
the ceiling. There were 416.
Jeremy's owner, a preteen girl named Dani, came
running. She opened the door and gasped.
"Jeremy! Where are your Extra Thick Goggles?
You'll never get rid of your Blurry Vision at this rate!"
Jeremy sighed and walked over to his desk and
dug in his backpack, bring out a pair of glasses so thick that they looked like
they would poke holes in any paper closer than six inches to his face.
"Gasp! Your teacher! What's wrong with her?"
"Miss Jeremy, I yelled because I was sick and
tired." Emlo explained. "Sick and tired of us being cheated out of an education
and you and the rest of our owners being cheated out of hard earned Neopoints
She just told us to start reading and before we knew it, she was out cold. Sleeping
on the job? Oh, please. How tasteless."
Dani shook her head and tsked. "Well, come on,
all of you. You can go in the kitchen and get some lunch. I need to contact
all the girls and explain to them that we're going to need to find some other
use for all these school supplies. And another way to teach you."
And then they all left the prison living classroom
and had a nice lunch and rest of the day. Well, except for Mrs. Featherbeakwingspaws,
who spent the rest of the afternoon asleep on a broken wooden desk in the middle
of a houseful of those who despised her and ended her evening by picking splinters
out of her wings and getting the Sutek Beans out of her ears.