6 Plans You Can Use to Escape the Ray Gun
We have all heard of the dreaded ray gun. You know, the one that the evil Dr.
Sloth uses to turn perfectly good items, Neopets, and Neopians into cute little
piles of sludge. Now, don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against cute little piles
of sludge. As a matter of fact, I have an entire collection of them. But I don’t
think that Dr. Sloth has a right to turn anything or anyone into a cute little
pile of sludge. I mean, think about it. He could turn a faerie paintbrush into
a pile of sludge, one that took a lot of Neopoints to buy. He could turn a beloved
Feepit into a pile of sludge, causing a neopet out there to become very angry.
Or he could turn YOU into a pile of sludge, and I don’t think you’d like that
too much. Or maybe your lifelong dream is to be zapped into a pile of sludge,
in which case I advise you not to read this article. You see, this article is
called, “6 Plans You can Use to Escape the Ray Gun”. It’s not called, “6 Plans
You Can Use to Convince Dr. Sloth to Zap You”. And now, without further ado, I
will tell you plans that could be effective in avoiding a potentially gruesome
(and cute at the same time, I do call them CUTE little piles of sludge, after
Plan #1) Tell Dr. Sloth that if he doesn’t zap you, you will help him out with
one of his evil plans: his choice! Dr. Sloth would be insane not to accept this
offer because he rarely gets offers like that. Once he accepts it, he will take
you into his laboratory where he makes his transmogrification potions. When
you’re there, tell him that you need to use the restroom and will be right back.
If he objects, threaten to use it right there on the floor and I’m sure he’d
change his mind. Instead of going to the restroom like you said you would, run
out the door and keep running until he tires of chasing after you.
This plan might not work if: Dr. Sloth chases after you with the ray gun in
Or if: Dr. Sloth is insane after all.
Plan #2) Act like your lifelong dream is to be turned into a cute little pile
of sludge! Claim with pride that your great grandparents got zapped with the
ray gun and that you can’t wait to follow in their footsteps. This could take
away his fun of zapping you, thus causing him to decide not to zap you.
This plan might not work if: You have poor acting skills.
Or if: Dr. Sloth decides to act kind for once in his life, so he fulfills your
wish of being zapped. Keep in mind that this is VERY unlikely.
Plan #3) Pretend to be going crazy. Start saying sentences that are impossible
to be translated such as, “Eeep jobna te hie ku la la!” and throw his stuff
around the room. This will probably distract him from zapping you. He’ll be
too busy trying to make sense of your bizarre behavior.
This plan might not work if: Dr. Sloth gets angry that you broke his lamp so
he zaps you, exactly what you were trying to prevent.
Plan #4) Offer to make him a delicious, mouth-watering batch of brownies! My
friend said that her uncle said that his cousin said that her friend said that
Dr. Sloth would do anything for them. He is as crazy for brownies as Adam is
for asparagus. Okay, maybe he doesn’t like them that much.
This plan might not work if: My friend’s uncle’s cousin’s friend was lying.
Or if: You burn the brownies in the oven. Then Dr. Sloth may zap you after
one bite of a brownie.
Plan #5) Plan 5 is only for those truly insane people. If you are a sensible
person, I recommend that you not read this plan and simply choose one of the
above ones to do. Here it is: Ask Dr. Sloth if he knows the difference between
a yubiook and a gunone. After he says no (or gives you a very strange look),
tap him on the shoulder and say, “Tag, you’re it!” Then run wildly around the
room, doing a cartwheel whenever possible. When he tags you, try to tag him
back! Who knew that playing a game with Dr. Sloth could be so much fun?
This plan might not work if: Dr. Sloth tags you…with his ray gun.
Or if: You can’t do cartwheels. The plan simply wouldn’t be as fun without
Plan #6) This plan is for people who don’t want to use a complex one. Simply
put, Plan 6 is: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!
This plan might not work if: You are a slow runner.
So there you have it, folks: 6 handy plans you can use to escape the ray gun.
Now the question is, which one will you use if faced with that frightening situation?
You must decide now or else you may get zapped before you can make up your mind.
And remember, if the plan you use fails, being a cute little pile of sludge
might not be that bad. You may even enjoy it. Sure, you may be smelly, but think
about all the adventures you could go through as a cute little pile of sludge.
You could go from shop to shop to shop and then be put with someone’s items
where you make friends with a Tombola key ring. Then you could be stolen by
the Pant Devil and find out where exactly he goes after stealing an item. Yes,
life as a cute little pile of sludge could be fun after all. As fun as playing
a game of tag with Dr. Sloth? You be the judge.