Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 100,597,592 Issue: 199 | 14th day of Swimming, Y7
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Awakening of the Count

by precious_katuch14


It was nighttime once again, a dark, starless night upon the world of Neopia. Residents either slept or fell asleep…that is, except in the Haunted Woods.

     The Haunted Woods was a place few would dare approach at this time of night, as the horrible, terrible, treacherous, villainous and downright ugly denizens within often came out and roamed the premises, leaving other Neopians to only hazard a guess as to what they were planning. In fact, at that very moment, one of the worst villains was slowly stirring, allured by the hanging darkness that replaced the bright light of day.

     Count Von Roo got up from his resting place, and walked to the window of his lair, peeking out into the dim surroundings. A sardonic smile stretched across his face, and he nodded in satisfaction. Light - oh, how he hated it. This particular Blumaroo hated daytime, and detested that five-letter word that meant 'the stuff that streamed down through windows whenever the blasted sun would come out'. Sometimes he wished that the sun would just go away…but they were only wishes.

     He shook his head angrily and blew out a candle beside a dusty closet in his room. The villain often wondered why he even bothered to light them, as he wasn't fond of light. Then Von Roo remembered the reason all of a sudden - after the tiny glowing flame went out, he tripped over something on the wooden floor. Yelling incomprehensible snarls and growls, he steadied himself and felt around for the mysterious object he had fallen against. Sighing, he realized that it was another candle.

     Shaking his head, the Blumaroo picked it up and lit it with one snap of his wicked fingers. He had wasted enough time already, and was late for his appointment - which was actually his reign of terror.

     "Where is that accursed library?" he grumbled, holding up the newly lit candle upon the door, and fumbling for the gnarled, bone-colored doorknob. The count stomped outside, through a stone hallway with two staircases - one that twisted and turned upwards, and another that went straight down. He walked up onto the spiral staircase, focusing on the looming doorway that was obscured only by a length of torn, red curtains.

     Smiling, he pushed the cloth aside and entered the library. It was very dim, just like every other nook and cranny of his lair. Still holding up the only means of finding his way around the darkness, Count Von Roo squinted and scanned the spines of the books on the shelves.

     "One Hundred Thousand Ways To Dislike Light…Five Hundred Ways To Torture…Witchcraft And Magic For Vampires…Preserving Fangs For Future Purposes…ah, here we go." He snatched the tome off its usual position, creating a small cloud of dust. The Blumaroo walked over to the only wooden, rickety table in the room, drawing up a matching stool and slamming the thick volume onto the surface.

     "Where was that stupid page I marked some time ago?" he asked himself. The villain flipped through the pages, narrowing his eyes in determination and irritation. At last, he came to a couple of leaves marked by an old, faded piece of ribbon. Von Roo began to read the words silently, still holding up the lit candle and wincing slightly as bits of melted wax fell onto his fingers.

     Sometimes, the best way to maintain fangs is not using them. Keep a schedule of when you will be making use of your own, and when you will artificially substitute them with an artificial substitute. Overuse can lead to terrible things best described at the end of the book, on Chapter Ninety-Eight. If you do not wish to turn to those pages, perhaps you would follow our instructions here on Chapter Sixty-Six first.

     Nodding, the count went to the very first page of the book and extracted a small piece of paper with a simple chart with checkmarks and X's inscribed in the little square boxes.

     "If yesterday was Friday, and today is Saturday…I will be using the fake fangs tonight!" he exclaimed, jumping up and nearly dropping his candle. The Blumaroo grinned widely and used his free paw to explore his pockets. There was a little bit of lint inside the left one, but the right one was completely empty.

     "WHERE HAVE I PUT THOSE CURSED FANGS?" he yelled out suddenly, dropping his source of light and stomping in annoyance. Not minding anything else, Count Von Roo ran out of the library, and sprinted down the stairs. Just as he was about to land onto the sixth to the last step, he slipped once again and plopped onto the foot of the staircase, rubbing his head and even angrier than before. "Of all the times to misplace…" Easing himself up, the villain barged into his bedroom.

     The Blumaroo threw open his closet and began to rummage through his closet, flipping through identical black capes and cobwebs, opening and closing drawers within. With every futile find, Von Roo would snarl animatedly. He peeked in every corner of his domain, getting more and more furious with every empty space. Muttering, he kicked open the door and stormed back outside.

     "Where…it's been a long time since I last used those things…" The villainous denizen walked into another room that had squishy maroon armchairs, an ashy fireplace that hadn't been lit for years at least, and towering walls of stone. His shadow flickered against them as he made his way through, groping away in the dim room. All of a sudden, his paw hit something that felt slightly rough, yet smooth in some places, and didn't feel like something that belonged in the den.

     Count Von Roo stared and stared, and saw a faint purplish light where he had hit something unfamiliar. A small dark faerie stared up at him, leering underneath a head of short, dark violet hair.

     Flying into a rage and briefly forgetting about his missing fangs, the Blumaroo demanded, "What are you doing in my lair?"

     She raised an eyebrow and mimicked him. "What are you doing in my lair?" The faerie giggled maliciously, her dark eyes glaring at him from underneath untidy bangs.

     "This is MY lair, you fool!"

     "This is MY lair, you fool!"

     "Stop copying my words!"

     "Stop copying my words!" The unexpected stranger laughed even more, watching the count fly into a rage.

     The villain snatched at her, only to see the dark faerie fly out of his reach. "Come and get me, you insolent little bat-thing!" she crowed, zooming around the den and leaving a glittery, purple trail in her wake.

     Von Roo stood up and ran for it. "Get back here, you little - " However, he didn't see her turn and change direction in time, and ended up slamming into a wall. Thoroughly mad now, he quickly gathered himself and desperately tried to look for the little creature. Just as he was about to go on, the Blumaroo felt a very sharp blow at the back of his head.

     "Looking for me?" sneered the faerie, hovering in midair and zooming the other way and cackling as her chaser attempted to catch her. "Who do you think you are, Balthazar? What are you doing inside at this time of night?"

     "How did YOU get in here in the first place?" snarled the Blumaroo, grabbing at her wings and watching as she soared upwards.

     "We faeries have our ways, Count," she answered swiftly. "Wouldn't want to give away a good magic secret, wouldn't we? Besides, I just wanted some fun…by hiding your fake-but-nonetheless-magical-like-the-real-stuff fangs at a great haunting time like this!"

     "ARGH! No wonder they went missing!" He reached up for his prized possession, only to find that the annoying visitor had dived downwards, totally confusing him. "Give those back!"

     She stuck out her tongue. "Hah, no way!"

     "YES way!" Von Roo finally snatched the crazy dark faerie by her wings, and pried the fangs off her hands. "At last, I shall finally have my night of haunting!"

     The stranger gasped as it came away from her grasp. "Aw, shoot," she grumbled. "Oh well, maybe it would be more fun to bug Hubrid Nox this time!" Laughing her head off, the faerie flew away, leaving the same blazing purple trail behind and temporarily illuminating the surroundings.

     The count smiled, and tossed the fangs up in the air with one paw, and caught them again. "Of course, I still remember how to put them on." Chuckling to himself, he began to place them into position, until something hit his eyes so badly that he staggered to the floor.

     "Don't tell me that the stupid faerie is back," he mumbled under his breath. But whatever struck his sight and blinded him wasn't a shade of purple, or even black. It was a pure golden color.

     The sun was shining through the windows of the den. Morning had broken, and Von Roo's jaw just hung open, staring at the light before hurriedly forcing the curtains shut.

     "CURSED SUN!" He slapped his forehead and sighed.

The End

Author's Note: I would like to thank eyeslikestars for giving me this wonderful idea to work on. Thank you very much! ^_^

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