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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 5th day of Celebrating, Yr 22
The Neopian Times Week 4 > Neomarket Report

The Neo-Market Report

Once again it’s time to drop in on Neopia’s leading financial forecasters. Joining our hosts today will be Quinton the Quiggle, founder of Health Frog Groceries and owner of the Health Food shop in the Neopian Bazaar. Quinton will be here to talk about the current health craze sweeping Neopia. And now, here are Neil and Maria…

KAUVUTO: Hello and thank you for joining us this week at The Neo-Market Report. I am your host Neil Kauvuto, and as always I am joined by my co-host, the lovely and talented Maria Blumaroono, who comes to us today from the floor of the exchange with all the latest news. Maria, how are things today on the Big Board?

BLUMAROONO: Well Neil, the big story at the exchange continues to be the arrival of pirates in Neopia. Ever since Maraqua’s destruction, it seems like every company’s stock price has either risen or fallen according to their relationship with Neopia’s swashbuckling newcomers. For example, this week’s biggest gainer was Yippee!, who saw their stock price jump fifteen NPs a share after the company was approached by a fleet of pirates. Apparently, upon hearing that Yippee!’s motto was, “You name it, we will find it!” the buccaneers hired Yippee! to uncover all the valuable items stashed away throughout Neopia. A spokesperson for the pirates said, “Argg, we know ye scurvy Neopians have plenty of loot, but we’ve not the time to go a’ lookin’ fer it… thanks to Yippee!, we’ll be a’ skippin’ all the lookin’ and get right to the plunderin’!”

KAVUTO: On the other hand, one company who’s been burned by their association with the pirates has been Bob’s Big Bonus Bingo. Despite the great amounts that the bandits spend in the bingo parlours, it hasn’t been enough to offset the loss of business that has come as a result of regular customers leaving in droves. As one anonymous ex-customer put it, “I’ve chosen not to go anymore—those pirate guys are wild and out of control, and I don’t want to be there when something DOES go wrong.” As a result, Bob’s Big Bonus Bingo posted a ten-point loss this week, their first decline in nearly two months.

BLUMAROONO: With many seeing a conflict between Neopians and their new swashbuckling neighbours as unavoidable, the citizens of Neopia have been swept up by a fitness craze, wanting to be prepared for war if the need arises. One of the companies benefiting from this health mania has been Health Frog Groceries, which has seen their sales skyrocket in the past week, resulting in an impressive 14-point climb for their share value. Along with the strong showings by Techrobatics Fitness Videos, which rose twelve points, and Balthazar’s Faerie Bottling, which posted a nine point gain of its own, Health Frog Groceries appears to be riding the fitness wave as Neopians look to get ready for war with the pirates. Joining us today is the founder of Health Frog Groceries, Quinton the Quiggle. Quinton, thank you for joining us today…

QUINTON: Glad to be here. Thanks for having me.

BLUMAROONO: First, I’d like to congratulate you on your recent success. Not only is your company making money, but you’ve also got all of Neopia eating healthy, as well… quite an achievement!

QUINTON: Thanks, Maria. I’m really glad that Neopians have started to realise the value of a healthy diet and the positive effects it can have on your life. However, I’m kind of troubled by the thought that Neopians have only started eating well because they think they might have to go to war.

KAUVUTO: You bring up an interesting point; how can you, in good conscience, make a profit from Neopia going to war? Isn’t that, kind of… wrong?

QUINTON: Neil, I’ve given the matter a good bit of thought, and I understand that this is the reason why my shop is doing such an unbelievable amount of business. That’s why I’ve decided to take 20% of my profits and donate them to a number of worthy causes—The Money Tree, The Neopian Hospital, The Wishing Well, and a few others. This way, I’m helping Neopians get fit, while also doing the right thing to help those who are less fortunate.

BLUMAROONO: Now, once this thing with the pirates has blown over, do you think that Neopians will continue to eat healthy? My guess is that they won’t…

QUINTON: Well Maria, I’m hoping that turns out to be the silver lining of the dark cloud of war hanging over Neopia. I, for one, certainly hope that Neopians will see the benefit of eating healthy, and continue to do so, once this pirate situation has been settled.

KAUVUTO: That’s going to do it for us today. For Maria Blumaroono and Quinton the Quiggle, this is Neil Kauvuto saying thank you and so long….

Check out previous Neomarket Reports:
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