Once again, The Neopian Times takes great pleasure in presenting Neopia’s best-known economic forecasters. Along with breaking all the hottest stories from the floor of the exchange, our hosts will be joined by Captain Hackett, owner and manager of The Golden Dubloon. The captain will be here to discuss the wildly successful opening of his restaurant, which has received lavish praise from critics and patrons alike. And now, here are Neil and Maria…
KAUVUTO: Hello and welcome to this week’s edition of The Neo-Market Report. I am your host Neil Kauvuto, and as always I’m glad to introduce my co-host, the one and only Maria Blumaroono, who joins us with all the latest headlines from the Big Board. Maria, what’s making news today?
BLUMAROONO: Well Neil, as we enter the month of Awakening, I think it’s safe to say that Neopian investors are wide-awake to the fact that the economy is booming once more. For the fourth straight week, the Neodaq has posted a gain of more than twenty-five points, taking the index to 952 for Friday’s opening bell. With the hallowed one thousand-point mark now in sight, Chairman Grundospeck decided to issue a statement on the side of caution. “I know everybody’s really excited about the economic events of the past month. But let’s take a moment to remember what got us here—thorough research, sound strategies, and levelheaded decisions. We must stay the course, for if we give in to rampant speculation, we’ll just end up back where we were a month ago!”
KAUVUTO: Among the companies spearheading this latest economic surge is the Alien Aisha Vending Company, who unveiled a whole line of new and improved prizes earlier this week. News of the announcement spread like wildfire, causing investors to buy up shares of AAVL and send the value of the stock soaring by sixteen points. When asked to comment on the overwhelming response to his new prizes, Alien Aisha CEO Sentron X said, “It’s pretty simple, actually. You just have to give people what they want. We saw that our sales were slipping, and enthusiasm for our product was down. We did some research, and found that folks were tired of getting the same old thing. So, there you have it… new prizes!”
BLUMAROONO: Well, one company looking to get in on the booming economy is the Golden Dubloon, Krawk Island’s new culinary phenomenon. Ever since opening their doors earlier this week, customers have been lined up around the block, waiting for a chance to sample some of the restaurant’s tasty delicacies. Joining us today at The Neo-Market Report is Captain Hackett, owner and manager of the Golden Dubloon. Captain, thanks for paying us a visit…
HACKETT: Ahoy, it be givin’ me great pleasure to stop by, Maria!
BLUMAROONO: Now, I’ve got to say that the buzz on your restaurant has been unbelievable; food critics throughout Neopia are singing your praises. Why, one prominent critic stopped by recently, and to quote from his review, he said that, “Despite the awful wait to get in, I have to say it was well worth it. The food at the Golden Dubloon is, hands down, the finest I’ve EVER tasted.” Wow, that’s pretty impressive…
HACKETT: Aye, it’s nice that the critics be enjoyin’ our food, but methinks it much more important if the regular customers be havin’ a gleemful good time. After all, no matter what some fancy bunch o’ critics be sayin’, if me everyday patrons don’t be comin’ back, then we won’t be stayin’ in business too long.
KAUVUTO: I have to admit, though, that some of the dishes you serve appear a tad, shall we say, unconventional? Like, for example… Bilge Rat Madeira. Do you REALLY think that a typical Neopian is going to want to eat such a bizarre entree?
HACKETT: Aye, have ye had the Bilge Rat Madeira?
KAUVUTO: Uh, no… actually, I can’t say that I have.
HACKETT: Arr! Then how can ye say that you don’t be likin’ it, if ye never even give it a chance?!?
KAUVUTO: Hmm, I suppose you’ve got a point. Well, that’s all the time that we have this week. For Maria Blumaroono and Captain Hackett, this is Neil Kauvuto saying thank you, and so long….