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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 26th day of Awakening, Yr 22
The Neopian Times Week 79 > Neopian News Brief

The Neopian News Brief

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of The Neopian News Brief, your all-in-one guide to everything that's been going on in Neopia, from the dungy depths of Tyrannia to the convoluted corridors of the Virtupets Space Station. We've got some exciting new stories to cover this week, so let's get right to it, shall we?

Our lead story this week is the tubularific arrival of Extreme Potato Counter. For the past few weeks, the rad dudes and gnarly chicks of Meridell have been majorly bummed about Lord Darigan totally harshing their vibe. Well laters for that bro, because now everybody's stoked about the gnarsome debut of Extreme Potato Counter (or, as those of us in the know like to call it, XPC). Okay, so there's like these potatoes, and you're supposed to count them... but then there's like these other carrots and stuff, and you're not supposed to count them... and then they're like flying at you from every direction, all at the same time, like some evil mutant potato salad gone wild... ARGH, BRAINFREEZE!!!

Brutal... okay, so where was I? Oh, right... well, another title making its debut this week was Moocher Scoocher, a new game sponsored by Juicy Fruit. Basically, Moocher Scoocher is like a chilled-out cross between the tastebud gnashing fun of Feed Florg, combined with the breakneck pacing of a game like Omelette Defender. The goal is to protect your tasty pack of long lasting Juicy Fruit gum from waves of contemptible Miamouse freeloaders. Some of you may be wondering, "How am I going to do that?" (okay, some of you may not be wondering, but I'm gonna take the liberty of telling you anyway) Well, that's where the "moocher scoocher" comes into play. You see, the moocher scoocher is this metal contraption with a glove on the end, which allows you to slap those pesky Miamice upside the head, before they make off with all of your gum. This game is relatively easy, and gives out a generous amount of points (I came away with over 550 NPs the first time I played... not too shabby), so give it a shot!

Speaking of being chilled out, vis-a-vis some of the new releases on the site, the Post Office Kiosk unveiled a quartet of Snowy Valley stamps this past Monday, depicting such wintery themes as Terror Mountain, a gingerbread house, and a Christmas Meerca. Now, I realize that, after the spine-shattering hilarity of the last few paragraphs, you're probably expecting me to come up with a few witty cracks about the stamps.

Like, for example, I could make some joke about the snowman in the frosty snowman stamp. He could be saying something funny like, "Hey, does this snowstorm make me look fat?" Get it, because the more it snows, the fatter he would get? Okay, well... I know that wasn't very funny. After all, they're stamps; not exactly the most fertile ground for comedy. Oh sure, give me a moocher scoocher and a dozen dizzy Miamice, and it's more yuks than a barrell of Myncies. I'm just tryin' to work with what I've got here, folks...

This past Tuesday, Neopia gathered 'round to celebrate the arrival of Chocolate Chia Day, a wondrous occasion with plenty of merriment to be had by all (oh, and if you think that Lupes weren't celebratin' on Chia Day, then you're sorely mistaken. One look at all the Lupes that stood in line before the Food Shop, waiting to get their paws on a caramel Chia parfait or Chia cheese blintz, just goes to show... you don't have to love Chias to love Chia Day!).

Along with a generous host of delicious dishes, Chias were also blessed with a handsome array of goodies that included four more Battledome weapons (like Hubrid Nox doesn't have enough firepower already!), free training from Cap'n Threelegs, three new moves (including the notorious Chia bite... yeow!!!), a quartet of new books, and an excellent new acquisition from those scurvy lads at the Smuggler's Cove, who released an extremely limited supply of Chia leaping boots.

But that wasn't all! Along with receiving two new paint brush styles (starry and island) and a couple of Fun Images, Chias were also featured in this week's Caption, Poetry, and Site Spotlight Contests, as well as having their own special in the Art Gallery. Way to go, Chias!

Not to be outdone, there was an equally impressive stampede of revelers celebrating Tonu Day on Friday. There was a massive charge to the Bakery, as everyone stuffed themselves with tasty Tonu cookies, strawberry shortcake, and coconut cake. Mmm... as the Breadmaster would say, "Thatsa lotta Tonu!"

Tonu also received plenty of scintillating books to read (including an aptly titled Beauty Contest expose called The Mane Event, which promises to blow the lid off of all the petty catfights and dirty little backstage secrets... brilliant!) Tonu also received some Fun Images, weapons, two new paint brush styles (starry and orange) and a whole bunch of other stuff... but let's face it, this Neopian News Brief is turning out to be not so brief anymore, so whaddya say we just skip over to the stock report, okay?

After last week's disastrous plummet of 138 points, many analysts were ready to pack up their portfolios and head home, convinced that the economy was headed for the beginning of a particularly feisty Bear Market. Well, well, well... not so fast! Those who had written off the plunge as a momentary correction were amply rewarded, as the Big Board managed to rally back with an impressive thirty five point gain. Among the leaders was Peophin Water Parks, a company that most investors had written off as a fluke after back-to-back losses of twenty-four and twelve points during the previous two weeks. However, PEOP proved that they still had plenty of fight left in them, picking up an impressive nineteen points, climbing back over one hundred NPs a share.

In what's starting to become a fairly regular trend, The Neopian Auction House posted the week's biggest loss, dropping forty-three-points to close the week at 164 NPs a share, their lowest close since the end of November. It's been pretty much all downhill since TNAH peaked at 252 about a month ago; will they be able to regroup and assert their dominance once more, or will they be brought down by a quartet of rising companies? Joining PEOP in its quest to dominate the Big Board are four hot new stocks that look like they might be poised to restructure the balance of power within the Neopian economy. Who will be next to rise up and seize control; will it be Unis Beauty Salon (58 NPs a share), or perhaps The Shoyru Company (43 NPs)? How about Shop Wizard N-Commerce (47 NP)? Or, maybe we'll see a late run by Chia Steel, who showed so much promise last week before dropping below the 50 NP mark. I suppose we'll just have to wait and see....


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