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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 23rd day of Relaxing, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 78 > Articles > Hidden Tower Reviews 5

Hidden Tower Reviews 5

by aachewwthree

Untitled Document

FAERIELAND - Hello and welcome to Hidden Tower Reviews 5. I am your host aachewwthree and I'm here to help you spend those millions sitting in your bank account. I'm joined by my panel of judges including avid Battledomer drake_da_dragon, joining us for the second time. Also members of our panel are Slimjimmy00, Dungeonmagic, and from my resident guild; a_ludicrous_headrag.

Now that we have our judges here and ready, let's look at our weapons. We grade in A-F format. This week we have to review: battle dung, Jhudoras bewitched ring, sunshine shield, sword of the Air Faerie, u-bend of great justice, ubikiberry bag, and the yoyo of death.

Battle Dung: Was Mr. Shankly behind the creation of this one? The dung does 6 Earth and 5 physical...a combined 11 Icons for 5 Million NP. This stuff stinks though... so imply a clothespin unless you love the smell of dung of course!

Battle Strategy: A good combo would be your immsense rubber axe or battle duck. On defense, one leaf shield equals 100% damage blocked.

Aacheww's Line: Not bad, 11 Icons total. A major gripe that I have though is how easily blocked the damage done is. I can go out with Listary2's Leaf Shield, and stop this person in their tracks. 5 Million is just a tad too pricey in my book. Rating: D

Drake's Thoughts: Hrmm, overall a still pretty expensive weapon, with not a very high rating. I still don't classify it as effective in the Battledome, not unless your opponent is very easily embarrassed. This weapon is more likely to upset your opponents than anything else. Rating: D

From the Desk of Slimjimmy: 11 icons would be good if it was an uncommon type. Unfortunately, this is Earth and Physical, which most are prepared for with things like honey potion out. Rating: D (Slimjimmy was unavailable after reviewing this. He isn't shown reviewing anything else for that reason.)

Dungeon's Word: I don't really think it is worth it. Earth and Physical, they are so easily blocked. With something like a leaf shield, as Aacheww said, you could stop them completely. Rating: D

Headrag Speaks Out: It's really not worth the price. Earth and Physical icons are blocked way too easily nowadays, and 5 million is a hefty price tag. Keep saving, or buy something else. Rating: F

Verdict: D+ (.8 GPA)

Jhudoras Bewitched Ring: ANOTHER Jhudora weapon? For being reluctant to put her items in the Hidden Tower, she sure hasn't stopped doing it. Anywho, for 11 Million NP, this ring deals 10 Dark and 1-5 Physical. It also defends all light thrown your way. The biggest problem of all is that this CAN'T be unequipped! (As far as we know, if the rumors are not true Neomail me)

Battle Strategy: Use your grand lightning beams/Lost Desert daggers/battle ducks to blast away. On Defense, use an amulet of reflection to stop the dark attack, use any old shield to stop the physical onslaught (i.e. my good pal leaf shield)

Aacheww's Line: 11 - 15 items is nothing to shake a stick at, but if you can't unequip this Ring, it is a BAD buy. With the fact that you pay 11 Million, it reminds me of the old cloud rod. Except this doesn't disappear when unequipped. I'd advise buying it and waiting for retirement. Rating: F

Drake's Thoughts: Nice attack damage, the defense makes little difference though, since light is easy to block. Unequippable = very, very, VERY bad! Not to mention the price tag. Unless you're stinkin' rich you may end up having only omelettes for dinner for quite awhile. Rating: F

Dungeon's Word: I don't like it all. This one shot its own foot with it explanation alone. Rating: F

Headrag Speaks Out: 11-15 icons isn't bad for it, but don't buy it if you think you'll have second thoughts. If you battle with multiple pets, you'll spend a fortune. If you have low strength, or if your opponent has high HP, get a puzzle box instead. Rating: C

Verdict: D (.5 GPA)

Sunshine Shield: The Battledome has been pretty dark lately. So "C'mon get happy!" with this smiley sunshine shield. For 800,000 NP prepare for a SHIELD (You'll understand in a second) to deal 3 icons light! On defense it blocks 3 Earth/Dark.

Battle Strategy: Use this on when battling person with purple blob potions or brain tree splinters. That is when it shows potential. On the other side, avoid Earth/Dark and use your grand lightning beams to go through this shield.

Aacheww's Line: Shields rarely do any damage, so 3 Icons makes it the Monoceraptor's claw of the shield family. Although as far as defense is concerned... what a waste! All it blocks is 3 Dark and Earth. Shouldn't a SHIELD (Key Word) actually DEFEND (Key Word 2)? Rating: F

Drake's Thoughts: Ok, in one word: useless. This shield; other than freaking your opponent out with a smiley face has no purpose. A Large metal shield for 500 NP blocks the same total of more different kinds, and 3 attack is just pointless. Even if it was a much cheaper HT item it's still useless. Rating: F

Dungeon's Word: It one of the cheaper items in the Hidden Tower, but that doesn't mean it is worth it. I'd probably use it against newbies or those who use tiny Earth/Dark assaults. But overall, the cost doesn't justify the work. Rating: F

Headrag Speaks Out: This is pathetic! Only 3 icons of light? Okay, light isn't that common, and it defends very common Earth, and dark is becoming increasingly popular; but only 3 icons of each? Forget it! Verdict: F

Verdict: F (0 GPA)

Sword of the Air Faerie: This sword is said to be created by the first Air Faerie to ever live in Neopia. That may not be true but the power of this baby is! You can do Air damage in the totals of 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, or 21. Then it does 1-3 Physical. To make it a tad easier, it does a minimum of 7 icons, to a maximum of 23. This coming at a price, namely 7 Million NP.

Battle Strategy: Use the old standbys for all out warfare. Even still, this is very formidable by itself, so add use a defensive weapon as our second slot. On the other end, use a golden scorchstone to stop the Air and a large metal shield to stop Physical. Or just use a force shield, Thyoras tear, castle defenders shield, or Lord Darigans jewel.

Aacheww's Line: This weapon has THE oddest attack style I've ever known. It does Air damage in intervals of three from 6 to 21. Don't forget an incentive of 1-3 Physical. Just think 7 - 24 icons to make it easier on your mind. A major plus with this baby is Air rarity. There are few things that block all Air, so expect to blast the opposition away! Rating: A

Drake's Thoughts: This weapon is on the more random side, 21 attack of any kind is really good. Air is also fairly easy to block. It's like rolling a die, 1 out of 6 times you do like 24 icons...1 out of 6 times you do only 7. Still a powerful weapon with an overall rating despite it's hefty price tag. Rating: C

Dungeon's Word: I like the randomizing and three brackets, but the fact that you do as low a 7 really kills it. On average you deal 14-17 icons, so that brings it up. I just doubt many can afford it. Rating: B

Headrag Speaks Out: Nice! It can be anywhere from 7 to a very powerful 24! Very good if you're the gambling type of person. If you can afford it, get it! Rating: A

Verdict: B (3.25 GPA)

U-Bend of Great Justice: Heh, this one reminds me of the "All Your Base" craze. Anyway, for 1,732,500 reflect 80-100% of Water damage. Use to deal with them oh so dangerous and oh so common Battle Duckies! For great justice, take off zig! :) ;)

Battle Strategy: Offense is self-explanatory. On defense, try stealing it with a Sticky Hand/Grabber Jaw.

Aacheww's Line: With the recent craze of the battle ducks, this is a nifty trick to pull. Wait until you see the look on their face when Mr. Dark battle duck blasts them. A problem though is how often you actually FIND somebody using their battle ducks. Most people I know just buy to sell. Another gripe I really have is the cost. The 1.7 Million price tag and the rarity of battle ducks tone this one down. Rating: C

Drake's Thoughts: Reflection is good, but water attacks are not very common though, and the price tag isn't too bad. Now something that could reflect that much air or darkness is great! Rating: C

Dungeon's Word: Well, for the cost its okay. Especially with how popular Battle Ducks are this is smart defense. I still don't think I'd buy it personally, though. Rating: C

Headrag Speaks Out: Water is getting more popular by the second due to the battle ducks. It would be fun to see their attack backfire on them, but because of the price, you have better alternatives. Rating: C

Verdict: C (2.0 GPA)

Ubikiberry Bag: Need a helping hand? Those elixirs too hard to carry? Then buy this bag and pull those elixirs out when you need them! For 247,500 NP get infinite ubikiberry elixirs! The elixirs heals 5 HP each.

Battle Strategy: The bag is best used while freezing' the fruits of your labor are best used whilst the opponent is frozen. No worries if you are facing a person with a ubikiberry bag; its effect isn't any detriment to you.

Aacheww's Line: This is a waste of 250,000 NP. Since it only gives out 5 HP elixirs, it would be useless to those with even over 20 HP. This one gets an automatic trip to the discard. Rating: F

Drake's Thoughts: One word: Laugh! Ubikiberry elixirs are useless; there is no point to them. They heal so little... and you have to use this bag before you can get them. Just plain pointless, unless you have a very scrawny Neopet with less than 20 health. Rating: F

Dungeon's Word: I don't like it. 250,000 NP is not worth it, only 5 HP healing and it takes 2 turns to use? What a waste; this doesn't belong in the Hidden Tower. Don't buy it unless you want to waste hard-earned NP. Rating: F

Headrag Speaks Out: It's the little brother of the Bombaberry bag, which was retired a long time ago. It's a waste if you have a high HP pet. Ubikiberry elixirs only heal 5 HP, and it gives out 2 each time you use it. Forget it! Rating: F

Verdict: F (0 GPA)

Yoyo of Death: The last weapon of HTR 5. This is also the last review of HTR in whole. The yoyo does 2-20 physical icons for 20 Million NP.

Battle Strategy: Use any of your big guns for the attack. To defend, something like a Leaf Shield will get the job done.

Aacheww's Line: This is WAY too random for my liking. You do on average 11 icons which aren't worth 8 Million NP. Then it does only physical, which can be easily blocked by my trusty Leaf Shield. Rating: F

Drake's Thoughts: Very, very random, good but not as good as the Air Faerie sword. A lot of things block physical so it becomes a bit worse off in that sense. Rating: D

Dungeon's Word: 2-20 icons? Even though you can score an average of 11, it just doesn't seem worth that much. Then you have a single type. There are too many people who can block Physical, so it is a waste. Rating: F

Headrag Speaks Out: Physical is blocked way too easily, and it has the possibility of doing only 2 icons, which is horrible for its price. The max of 20 looks promising, but if your opponent blocks it, you've wasted an attack. Only get it if you have money to throw away or if you love to gamble. Rating: F

Verdict: D- (.25 GPA)

Well, that's all folks. We've finally completed the HTR series. Can you believe that it took 17 weeks to write the five articles that comprise HTR? Even still, it has finished. No more waiting for new instalments, it is over. Finished, Fin, Over, The end, get the picture? For the panel of judges this is aachewwthree, saying save for the good ones and laugh at the bad ones.

It finally ended. I have many people that I'd like to thank:

A thanks to finalhit and all of the IDB crew at for all their work. Also for showing that I'm not the only one who knows about the mood swings of Battledomers. Thanks to ahjteam over at Neopets Nexus for his help. Thanks to my judges, drake_da_dragon, Slimjimmy00, Dungeonmagic, and a_ludicrous_headrag. You guys are the vital organs of this baby. Major thanks to those you complimented me, I'm very grateful for your words. I also give the hate mailers a thanks. You guys and your lack of common sense have given me several good laughs.

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