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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 15th day of Sleeping, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 75 > Articles > What Were You Thinking?

What Were You Thinking?

by epk

MERIDELL - What were you thinking? Yes, you. It was you, Neopia, that handed "Lord" Darigan the win. (There are a select few who are exceptions. They don't need to read this article.) You may say, "Hey, this guy was in the right! King Skarl stole the orb from him..." and blah blah blah. I've heard it over and over. It's not making me any happier. Lord Darigan is scum. Those underlined words are all I want you to take from this article. (Although the article isn't about him.) And if you don't believe me, read on until you do. Oh, and if you stop reading this article almost now, guess what? You'll staying on Darigan's side because YOU ARE AFRAID THAT I MIGHT BE RIGHT. Or, maybe, you have to clean your room or get on the plane before it departs for Monaco. (Just so no one is falsely accused.) But onto the important details.

The Buts You all know what Buts are. It's your defence. And every single one of them I know are about to be turned into a mush (like how Darigan should look).

"King Skarl stole the Orb!"
So did Darigan. Darigan stole it back. But he stole it back in some of the most dishonourable ways I can imagine. For one, how did Skarl get the orb? A few of his knights, who weren't even set out to retrieve the orb in the first place, robbed it. How did Darigan get it back? He sent out pretty much his whole army to attack 300 BN! He declared war, and he lost. You would think someone defeated would admit their mistake. For a large chuck of people out there, you should know if go to court, you pretty much can only be charged on one incident once. If you are found guilty, odds are you can't redeem yourself. If you are innocent, odds are you won't be tried again. I'm not a superlawyer or anything, but that's roughly how it works. But no, Darigan attacks again, about 305 years after, (why does this guy need an orb if he can live that long?) and uses cowardly mind games to trick you into going onto his side.

"The orb is rightfully his!"
Well then, Canada should rightfully belong to France, and the U.S. should belong to the U.K. Both countries got their independence. Past ownership does not mean it's supposed to be yours. He did get it back, so it is his now and I acknowledge that, but this article isn't about who deserves the orb, it's about you.

"But Skarl's haircut is creepy!"
I'm with you on that one.

What You Did Wrong
There is one thing that you did wrong. What is it? You betrayed an army to signed up for. It makes me hard to trust you. Say you all are following me (which you should...ehh...which I imagine you could...erm...never mind) and all of a sudden something comes up about me, like I had a secret agent writing all my articles. You all would betray me like, you did Skarl, in a heartbeat. Now, you may argue, "Hey! I can come back if he clears his name." But you couldn't do that with Skarl. (Who never got the chance to clear his name.) And, do I really want to place my trust in a person who flip-flops every week! I may just say, "You can't be trusted with my secrets! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!!" Imagine a not-gory, non-bloody scene (hey, this IS Neopia) that involves a head chopping off.

Want Your Head Chopped off AGAIN????
Lookie at what else you did! Your risked your ability to be trusted, you helped a guy who was just about as worthy of the orb as Skarl, and YOUR DESTROYED MERIDELL!!!!! I will admit have a bit a fuzzy line in killing off worlds. (Explained at the end of the article...but if you ain't convinced you made a mistake, no skipping.) But that wasn't my fault. Every single Morris to Meridell Castle Defender you defeated got rid of a bit of Meridell. Now that you helped Darigan get the orb, we have no Illusen, (what did she do to you, and why did Darigan destroy her Glade?) Turmaculus, (not Petpets can't get anymore levels!) quite a few games, some of the cutest petpets EVER, and believe it or not I MISS THE STINKIN' CUCUMBER-OR-WHATEVER-IT-IS GAME! What's Darigan going to do for you? Run away with the orb? Not even give his disloyal and loyal armies a word of thanks, except for some NP and a few items. I don't understand. I simply don't. CHOP!

Here's a few more chops.

"Darigan's Shield is cooler!"
Well, guess what. Now that's he's a goodie-goodie again his colours are going to change back to green/yellow/white. Plus, that shield is weird looking. Haha, jokes on you. Or should I say...AXE!!! CHOP!!!!

I've gotten over my feud with Lupes. Jeran makes a great Choco-Strawberry Muffin, like a previous Lupe I interviewed. Ends have made up. Here, have a muffin. I'll cut in half for you. CHOP!!! (Oops...)

It is CHOP!!! a CHOP!!! Simile! CHOP!!!

"Don't ya mean METAPHOR?"


Well, who's not convinced that they made a mistake now? I probably would see a lot of hands raised if I could see around the world. (Sadly I can't, or I would of confirmed by know if *that* girl was really looking at me during 7th Period.) And that's okay. You didn't making the chopping list and you love Darigan through it all. Well, guess what. I don't think any less of you. I don't like your opinion, but I don't think any less of you. I'm saying this so Darigan doesn't lose any forces over people just wanting to be like me. I want them to agree with one of the above reasons. No...really! I chatted with Dariganish buds throughout the whole war. However, next time there is a big war like this, please listen to me. I'm getting ready for the next one, although I don't know how it will turn out. (Hint of next article perhaps.) It was fun coming back after a 7-something-week break from the NT and I hope to see you again next week. Support the reconstruction of Maraqua and Meridell in seven languages until next time! (hey, it is a new year, new language)

One word of warning. I have heard rumours of scammers trying to sell my account. You want to get the double axe. (It's a metaphor, really!)

For those of you who were curious about my world-destroying-fuzzy-line...remember Maraqua? Well, I have a Koi who used to belong to Maraqua, and I have a Krawk who comes from Krawk Island, and Krawk Island destroyed Maraqua. Oh, but Krawk's come from Tyrannia! So, did Tyrannia destroy Maraqua? Some of my earliest articles were about the Ice Caves/Tyrannia! See, it's weird I tell ya! (Even weirder if you made sense of it.)

Week 75 Related Links

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Is Darigan Your Next Candidate for Worship?
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