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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 28th day of Hunting, Yr 22
The Neopian Times Week 66 > Articles > Chiaphobia or Paranoia?

Chiaphobia or Paranoia?

by gzusgirl

CUTE CITY - It has been brought to my attention that some very strange, very disturbed people have lost their faith in our good friends, the Chias. One person in particular seems to favour Lupes over Chias! Now, I don't think there is any one Neopet that is greater than the other (For we all know that those "most popular pet" things are SOOOO rigged!!!! I mean, Limited Edition pets can't go very high, even though we all know that Poogles would win if they weren't limited edition!!!), but here is just some information on why Chias are NOT evil, and if they are evil, Lupes are just as evil as Chias!

Okay, Chias are in the Battledome, and so are Lupes Hmm... there are more Chias in there than Lupes Funny, last time I checked Chias were far easier to draw than Lupes Couldn't that mean something? And there are faeries you can battle in the Battledome, does that mean that the faeries are evil? I mean, you can even battle the tiki tack man in the Battledome! Good pets as well as bad pets fight in the Battledome, so just because there are lots of Battledome Chias, that doesn't mean that they're all evil. Sure, some might be, but just because you fight in the Battledome, that does NOT mean that you're evil.

So here is my evidence that the certain Chias mentioned by the anti-Chia-people are NOT as evil as they appear:

First off, the Mutant Chia. Dr Sloth turned this poor Chia into a creature of evil... ready to fight to protect its master. So this poor guy has been brainwashed by Sloth himself, programmed to be forever loyal to him, so he's fighting to defend Sloth. He never ASKED to be evil, Sloth forced him to be. In the Mutant Chia's mind, it's nobly fighting to defend its master - I wouldn't call that EVIL, just rather disturbed.

Next, the Jelly Chia. This guy's just having fun, it says The Jelly Chia likes to bounce around, but be careful, if he bounces in your direction he is liable to flatten you. Again, this is pure innocence. He is having fun, bouncing around and being the joyful little Chia that he is, and some poor idiot gets in his way, so he squishes him. Thus making the person he squished angry, and the Chia has to defend himself, etc. etc. Although I'm sure the Jelly Chia likes to fight as a hobby, and often times uses his bouncing to fight, it's not like he attacked anyone. It is a friendly fight, and no Neopet actually dies in the Battledome Not one. Yes, the Jelly Chia is in the gallery of evil. For what? DEFENDING ITSELF! He was going to be eaten, so of course, the natural thing to do is to defend itself by whatever means necessary! And I'm sure that the whole "Do not go near" is mere paranoia.

The next person on the list is the Chia Clown. Poor little guy, he's had it so rough. The Neopedia even states: He's heard them all: "Hey Chia Clown, your feet are so big you could stomp out a forest fire!" and "Hahaha, those aren't shoes on his feet... those are the boxes they came in." He's been teased, chased, poked and laughed at, not to mention a few tomatoes and rotten neggs thrown his way. But, ladies and gentlemen, this is the wonderful world of the Chia Clown, population: one lonely little prankster. And to think, after all that he's been through, some people still have the nerve to call him names... such as EVIL. He might put on a few bad acts here and there, and he might be somewhat of a prankster, he is a far cry from evil!

Chiazilla? Ha! Not evil at all, not even one bit! In fact, very very good in some aspects! For one, Chiazilla hasn't yet made it to the gallery of evil. The Legend of Chiazilla clearly shows how very not-evil he is, too! The Cocos and this giant beast (Chiazilla) lived in perfect harmony. Whenever the Cocos were threatened, Chiazilla would come and scare the enemy away... he summoned Chiazilla and ordered him to go in search of his lost son and not to return until he brought the little boy back safe and sound. Chiazilla sank into the water and that was the last time anybody saw him. What I see here is an amazing display of loyalty and obedience! The king told him not to come back until he brought his boy, and obviously Chiazilla never found him, so he hasn't returned to the Cocos.

Oh my word, the Highland Chia. This poor little guy is not evil at all! He hated porridge, had to eat it, and his parents kicked him out of the house. Most of these Chias had sad beginnings, and so there they are in the Battledome, fighting for whatever reason they have in mind.

Okay, now you've gone and done it. Balthazar? A GOOD GUY?!? Ha! Yah, sure, if you're a greedy merchant buying and selling faeries with no mind about it at all, sure, he's a good guy. What about those poor faeries? Yadda yadda, he was in the haunted woods and the dark faeries attacked him. Think about it, Dark faeries... minions of the evil one himself... sure, he's trying to get revenge, but why put his revenge to all the faeries? He should be getting revenge on his family for leaving him out there, doomed. And actually, Balthazar is living out every single thing the dark faeries wanted him to. Think about it. They want to cause havoc for the rest of the faeries - especially the light faeries. By Balthazar doing the great evil that he does, the dark faeries can laugh at how much evil and havoc he creates. Sure, he tosses faeries into the money tree, but if it weren't for them, the poor faeries would never have to BE in bottles! The people who get those faeries are further supporting the dark faeries' evil task.

Chia flour? Yes, I admit, this is a rather scary Battledome weapon, but did Chias make it? I do not think so! The Faerie Queen did! So why blame Chias? The Faerie Queen heard the complaints and removed the flour from her tower. And what idiot would spend millions on Chia flour just to turn YOUR pet into a Chia? The item has lost its usefulness since it is so expensive. I doubt anyone would use it on your pet, so don't fear.

Maybe there's a Chia police station to keep all the poor little CHIAS from being eaten by all those mean old nasty LUPES! And yes, Adee has broken the law, stealing ice cream. But Balthazar has broken the law, stealing innocent faeries' free will!

Nigel the Chia, sounds like most of those richlings on the chat boards. No one has a kind soul nowadays. I know lots of people who demand that for every good thing they do for you, you "owe them" something, that you have to pay them just for them to go look up a quest item for you, or something of the sort. So there is one evil Chia, several disturbed Chias, and one greedy Chia. Hmmmm... doesn't sound like much of a case to prove that the entire species of Chia is evil!

Oh yes, like apple Chias are going to take over Neopia. Or how about those evil, vicious strawberry Chias who are going to sneak into your house at night and staple you to your bed? Hmmm? Oh my, I'm so afraid of the tomato Chia, who gets moldy when you beat her in the Battledome Oh wait, she fights in the Battledome, that makes her evil. I can just imagine all these fruits running around burning down the soup kitchen. That, I just cannot see. Now, a ghost army run by the Ghost Lupe himself, THIS I can see.

Oh yes, speaking of the Ghost Lupe wouldn't he be hand in hand with Hubrid Nox and his upcoming ghost army? I can imagine the Ghost Lupe as the commander! Okay, so you say that the Ghost Lupe is a good-doing, innocent Ghost Lupe. Sure, he heals your pets and warns you to stay away from Mystery Island, but he's got a temper! He's your friend until you do something bad to you, and then he'll attack you. Nice guy. Don't believe me? The Battledome states clearly that. He is easily angered so be very careful... ah, not evil, but certainly not a good example, either!

Okay, come on.. Dr. Sloth looks NOTHING like a Chia... and he hates Neopets. Furthermore, his history is that he was on Neopia BEFORE NEOPETS WERE BORN. How could he be a Neopet if Neopets didn't exist?!? Then he looked outside, saw sunshine hit some goop and shrieked in horror at a Kacheek and Shoyru. Hrmmm... if he were a Chia, wouldn't he be screaming at a Lupe?

I'm here to assure you that Chias are not here to control Neopia, they are not evil, and there might be a few "bad apples" (no pun (or evilness) intended) in the Chia bunch, but I doubt there are any truly evil ones. And just because there are a few that are evil, does that mean we should condemn the entire species? I think not....

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