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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 26th day of Awakening, Yr 22
The Neopian Times Week 61 > Articles > Conspiracy's Conspiracies

Conspiracy's Conspiracies

by leb388

NEOPIA CENTRAL - Hi, my name is ConspriacyPhreak3_0. Call me CP30 or Conspiracy. Although it says my owner, leb388, wrote this article, it was actually written by me. Why does it say leb388, then? Who knows. Which brings me to the topic of conspiracies.

There are hundreds of unsolved mysteries and conspiracies in Neopia--that much we do know. Some come and go daily. But I'm here to investigate the craziest and most common conspiracies going on a little way's off Bread Street.

I. Chias + Lupes = Debate?

All right, no one really knows how the whole Chia-Lupe thing got started. Some say it's from an old, Old Neopian Times article about a Chia being eaten by a Wocky, and that it later evolved to Lupes eating Chias. Even though I had an incident similar to this, it's downright crazy. I'll map it out:

Lupes - dogs/wolves

Chias - mice/guinea pigs/hamsters, or eggs, or plants

Why would dogs eat hamsters? Seems sort of crazy to me. Well, "Lupe" is French for "wolf," and wolves eat things my owner calls "rabbits and deer." It's sad but true. How many Cybunnies and Ixis are in Neopia? HARDLY ANY! And why? Because Lupes eat them all! I've been a Lupe myself thanks to the Lab Ray, and it's very difficult to resist the natural predator instincts.

Aishas - cats

Cybunnies - rabbits/hares/bunnies

Ixis - deer

So, where do Aishas come to play? Well, my sister Li is an Aisha, and I know for a fact that she doesn't like Chias. "When they go by my mouth starts watering...well, I've never eaten a Chia, but that doesn't mean I haven't tried (but that's a different story)," she said to me once. Anyway, my owner says that in her world, cats like to eat mice. Many Aishas nowadays are vegetarians, and my owner, leb388, says that in her world, "Chia-pets" are actually clay pot things plants grow in/on. So take a look at this:

Aishas---(eat)----Chias

Lupes----(eat)----Cybunnies and Ixis

When you think about it, it should make sense. But Chias are WAY too big for most Aishas to eat alone--maybe ancient tribes of Aishas hunted Chias and ate a Chia per family, but now most modern Aishas are more civilised and don't know that their ancestors were skilled Chia hunters. Or maybe Aishas think Chias are just talking, walking plants, and they consider themselves to be eating a vegetable (there are many types of fruit and vegetable Chias, for example: Peach Chias.). And as I mentioned before, Cybunnies and Ixis are extremely rare, so it would make sense that something's eating them and Neopets wants to protect them by putting them on the "endangered species," or "Not Available" list, and Ixis just bounced back from near-extinction due to Lupes eating them all! Why else would they be so rare?

Also, I remember someone predicting in the Times awhile back that Baby Buzzes would be vulnerable to Pteris eating them. As of writing this, there have been no recorded accounts of this happening. Is it because Pteris don't want to eat babies? Or because Neopets actually don't eat each other? IS IT ALL A CONSPIRACY?!?

*coughs* No? I'll move on then...

II. The Pant Devil--Give Him Back His Pants!!!

One day the Pant Devil just showed up in Neopia. No explanation, no warning, no nothing. All he brought was his name and his mischievous ways. The little blue demon/ghost/devil/ghoul (too many names...) steals items from Neopians like you and me--so what's up with him?

My theory is that long ago, a Floud lost his orange pants (Flouds are like moths--they probably eat clothing) and mistakenly ate a carrot instead. Instantly he turned evil, and has since roamed Neopia for absolutely no reason at all, stealing items.

(Warning: NEVER feed a Floud carrots. Don't even try it!)

All right, so maybe that explanation makes no sense. The Pant Devil's just there, always looming in the shadows, and hardly any information can be found on him--so the Neopets Team refuses to stop him? Well, that ghoul's days are numbered if I'm concerned...

III. The Money and Brain Trees: Long-Lost Brothers?

The only two talking trees in Neopia are the Money Tree and the Brain Tree. The Money Tree lives in Neopia Central, giving loads of items to greedy users blessed with DSL or a cable connection. The Brain Tree lives in the Haunted Woods, and gives out quests in exchange for information you must find by feeding the Esophagor twice. Are they related?

Since I can't genetically test them, I can only assume so. But why the distance between each other? Were they rivaling brothers when one moved away in contempt? Were several "smart tree" seeds scattered about the Neopets World, and only those two survived? We may never know.

But what I do know is that both of them must take before they can give. Is there some sort of middle Neopet involved? Maybe it's those two trees that keep Neopia running by donating to the Neopets team! Maybe our very lives are controlled by the roots beneath us! Or maybe I'm just exaggerating to prove a point. Either way, talking trees is just plain weird.

IV. What's Up With the Faeries?

There used to be simple faeries--the Light Faerie, the Dark Faerie, the Earth Faerie, the Air Faerie, the Fire Faerie and the Water Faerie, each in quest and spell-varieties. Now there's the Queen Faerie (Fyora), the Snow Faerie, the Negg Faerie, the Space Faerie, the Battle Faerie...more than one can remember without a lot of borovan. Yet, I can only find three that are mentioned (not including Neodeck cards): Fyora, Illusen, and Jhudora. Illusen hates Jhudora, Jhudora hates Illusen, Jhudora hates/is afraid of Fyora, Fyora never mentions Illusen OR Jhudora...

Well, since there are so many faeries, the only real way to group them is by what they do. Spell faeries give abilities when you release them. Quest faeries give quests--some as random events, and some, like the Snow Faerie, Jhudora, and Illusen, only give quests if you ask them. But faeries aren't the only ones giving quests: remember the old kitchen quest in Maraqua? Or the time-machine guy in Tyrannia (whatever happened to that guy? He just up-and-disappeared--maybe he fixed his machine!)? And even now--the chef in Mystery Island and the witch in the Haunted Woods (could she be a Dark Faerie?)?

Here are all of the "kitchen quests" there are now, and their worlds:

Terror Mountain: The Snow Faerie's Quest

Haunted Woods: Brain Tree Quest

Haunted Woods: Edna's Quest

Mystery Island: The Kitchen Quest

Faerieland: Jhudora's Quest

Meridell: Illusen's Glade

Out of six, three are done by faeries. Yet, Edna the Witch, the Snow Faerie, the Brain Tree, and the Mystery Island chef have been doing quests on different worlds for ages, and they seem to get along fine. Well, they've never seen or heard about each other, but even if they did there wouldn't be much of a problem.

So do faeries only get upset with other faeries? Well, all faeries despise Balthazar--that's a fact. I've never heard the Fire and Air faeries fighting, but the Air Faerie wouldn't have good reason to hate fire. Shouldn't the Fire and Water Faeries hate each other, too? And the Light Faerie seems to have no problem with the Dark Faeries. Heck--the only two faeries that seem to feel hate are Jhudora and Illusen! Many people have thought up clever ideas about why they could hate each other, but since neither of them seem to want to talk about it, I guess Neopia will never know the truth.

V. Many Worlds, Or Just One?

With talk of the Meridell "world" has come more talk, and with the actual coming of Meridell and more of the plot has come more questions. Since Neopia Central finally won a spot on the map of "Neopia," I've started to wonder--since Neopia Central isn't a separate world, and it's all part of one planet called Neopia, is it true that other "worlds" can't exist?

If Neopets had a moon or two and a star, then there could definitely be other worlds. But no, we're just a planet flying in the middle of nowhere. The only other known planet is the planet the Grundos came from--and no information has been given on its location. There's the Virtupets Space Station hovering over Neopia, but that isn't a heavenly body. It's a spacecraft--and the only one known in all of Neopia, save for that guy in Tyrannia's old Time Machine (he keeps popping up no matter what I say! What ever happened to that guy?). So all we can do now is explore other parts of our planet.

There can't be two or more worlds on a planet. So, then, we'd have to call Tyrannia, the Lost Desert, Krawk Island, Faerieland, et cetera are all "areas." Yet, Neopets continues to call them "worlds." In my owner's world, Antarctica isn't its own world--and neither is Aisa. They're areas of the one world called "Earth" that my owner lives in.

VI. Feed Yourself!

If a Neopet has food in front of it, he or she most likely it will not touch it until their owner says they can. The only two species that retaliate and eat anything when they're hungry (and I mean anything, since my owner's brother's Grarrl once ate a Faerie) are Skeiths and Grarrls.

In some Neopian Times stories, Neopets are depicted as being capable of earning Neopoints, buying food, and bringing the food home, but not having permission nor ability to eat it on their own. I wanted to see if I, presently a Nimmo due to the Lab Ray, could prove this theory wrong, but leb388 keeps my sisters and I so stuffed with food that we're never hungry. How's a guy supposed to experiment? I can only assume that owners completely control their pets much as "A human controls a dog or cat--I mean, Lupe or Aisha. They can do what they want, but they're pets and are limited by their owner," quoth leb388, my owner, who I will remind you did NOT write this article.

And the opposite is true: a Neopet must take food from his or her owner unless they cannot eat (illness, being bloated) or because they don't like a certain type of food.

If you have a kind, loving owner, this isn't an issue. But some pets are dying and need help. Besides, Neopets' intelligence levels can increase like crazy, and some of us can tackle the fiercest Battledome opponents, yet we cannot feed ourselves. We need retaliation! We need revolution! We need--

Sorry to cut this so short, but all this writing is starting to make me hungry. Next up:

VII. Conclusion

All right, that's all the space I have before my owner's hard drive explodes, destroying us all, and as I mentioned, I'm hungry. Besides, my pet Avabot, R2D2, is missing...

Until next time! This has been ConspiracyPhreak3_0, leb388's Yellow Nimmo (though the Lab Ray can change me at any minute), and NOT leb388.

I TOLD YOU NOT TO FEED A FLOUD CARROTS! NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE!


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