Usumoshi Industries HQ
"TRUST me, Mr. Usumukashi!!"
"I don't know, Mihoshi, this seems a little...dangerous..."
"Aw, you KNOW you can TRUST me, I know it!
It'll just be until we develop the next big perfume! I mean, come on!"
Mr. Satoshi Usumukashi, the ancient green
Nimmo who ran a petpet farm company in Neopia Central, was extremely uncomfortable
under Miss Mihoshi Usumoshi's passive-aggressive glare. Mihoshi was just the
kind of Neopet to make you uncomfortable. With her loud fluorescent pink horn-rimmed
glasses, lime green dress suit and lipstick, bright orange shoes, and short,
jet-black hair, she looked more like a monster than an Usul.
"There's big money in it for you, Mr. Usumukashi!
Remember the merger with Pteri Fried Chicken? That's big buck-buck-BUCKS!"
She laughed insincerely, her tail twitching
back and forth as she eyed the pen in Satoshi's paw. Satoshi's big, gray moustache
twitched for a moment. He looked one last time at her big, oh-so-innocent smile
before giving in and smiling himself.
"I suppose I CAN trust you..."
And with that said and done, he scribbled
his loopy signature on the paper. Mihoshi Usumoshi grinned, snatching the paper
from him and handing it to a large, burly Lupe guard who was standing near the
doorway. He nodded, and then swept out the door, the contract in his paw.
"Perfect...thank you, Mr. Usumukashi! And
remember, you can ALWAYS trust Usumoshi Industries! We never lie! NEVER!!"
With that, they tentatively shook paws, both
smiling as broadly as possible. Satoshi left the room, wiping off his bald,
gleaming head with a handkerchief and loosening the tie around his neck as he
boarded the elevator.
"Geez...if I had disagreed, she probably
would have eaten me alive, the way she smiled..." He muttered under his breath.
"And that Lupe guard...could she possibly hire any more murderous security personal?
That woman has issues..."
Usumoshi has very, very keen hearing. It
has been sort of a gift of hers, and it helped her sneak her way into the position
she was in now. It was easy to overhear the loud-voiced Nimmo just through the
doorway and onto the elevator, and her nose twitched irritably as she sat down.
"Lousy Nimmo...soon, I'll have all your money
served to me on a platter, as well as that ugly, bald head of yours..."
She turned her chair around to face the large
window behind her, looking down over Neopia Central with a malicious green eye.
All the busy little Neopets didn't realise how quickly it would all be hers.
"Enjoy your eye shadow while it's still worth
less than 1000 NP!! Have fun with that 30 NP shampoo while it lasts!! Soon,
the entire monopoly on the Make-up industries will be MINE!! And I will be the
richest Usul in Neopia! That stupid, dinky little bimbo in the red ribbon who
owns that lousy shop? She'll be begging for quarters on the street! You can
TRUST me all right!!"
She turned back around to the empty room,
snorting. Her snort turned into a strange giggle. Her giggle turned into a choked
guffaw, and finally, throwing her head, she began laughing like some kind of
"YAAA HA HA HA HEEE HEEEEE!!!"
Peacepaw's Valley, Several Weeks Later...
Peacepaw the hippy Lupe trilled happily as
he strummed his guitar. A rainbow appeared behind him, and several birds began
to sing along with him, as pink Miamice danced all around the stump he was seated
I were unhappy, I'd be happy again,
live with happy people
Who are all
my happy friends!
Life is oh
so happy, and I love it too,
I could smell
them flowers for hours,
And I hope
that you could too!
I'm as happy
as I could possibleeeee beeeeeeee!!
Oh, if I were
unhappy, I'd be happy again,
live with happy people
Who are aaaaaaaaall
His voice broke right on the last syllable
as he enthusiastically strummed out a few chords on his guitar. The tiny group
of Miamice applauded happily, giggling in their high pitches voices as three
light faeries pranced over them, sprinkling glitter in the skies. It was easy
to understand why Peacepaw was so unpopular with the other Lupes...
Suddenly, all the Miamice fell silent. Their
mouths fell open in awe as a sickly green Miamouse inched towards the group.
Her large, round eyes were bloodshot, and she was leaning on a crutch, one of
her legs horribly crippled. Peacepaw leapt off the stump he was sitting on,
his face a mask of horror.
"DUDE!! IS THAT SUNFLOWER?!?!?"
The Miamice separated, allowing the mauled
Sunflower to slowly inch up to Peacepaw. She began rasping in her tiny Miamouse
voice. Peacepaw picked her up, holding her eye level, tears swelling up in his
"Who did this to you, man!?! Why are you
Sunflower, with her last ounce of strength,
held up a tiny piece of paper she had probably cut from a newspaper. Peacepaw
carefully plucked it from her paw, peering at it carefully with his sharp eyes.
"Hey, this is, like, a photograph of Mihoshi
Usumoshi...head of the Usumoshi Make-up Industries..."
Suddenly, his worried expression changed
into one of rage.
"Petpet testing. Way uncool."
Sunflower was placed onto the ground, where
the other Miamice crated her away. Peacepaw stood up, strapping his guitar around
his back. His face, instead of dreamy and serene, was now surprisingly hardened
"You mess with my Miamice, you mess with
Peacepaw, the greatest protester this side of the hemisphere!! THIS MEANS PEACE!!"
The blue, long-haired Lupe turned around
and opened a secret latch hidden on the stump he was sitting on. Inside were
a few thin, broad sticks and poster boards, along with several sets of paint,
glue, scissors, and other such items you could probably find in an art kit.
Peacepaw plucked up a large piece of poster board, a broad sheet, and a set
of paints. He spread the paint-spotted cloth out on the grass, set the poster
board on top of it, flopped onto his belly, and painted these words in big,
bold red letters:
END PETPET TESTING
Peacepaw looked at it for a moment, studying
the handiwork and the space left on the sign.
"Hm...it's missing something..."
He picked up the photograph of Mihoshi, studying
her annoying, loud features through squinted blue eyes. He grinned, tossing
the picture aside
Peacepaw copied the photograph of Mihoshi
onto the sign. He was a surprisingly good painter, and ended up with a fair
depiction of Mihoshi's wicked smile. Underneath the painting, he added these
BOYCOTT MIHOSHI'S MAKE-UP
"It's, like, Perfect!"
Peacepaw beamed as he glued the freshly painted
sign onto the stick. He reached into his stump again, pulling out a set of chains
and a large padlock without a key or combination.
"This looks like a job for a hunger strike!!"
Al the blue chia frowned as he chained
himself to the large fence surrounding the smoke-spewing spouts and gleaming
glass buildings of the Usumoshi industry, adjusting his glasses and white lab
coat before closing the lock with a loud click.
"Peacepaw, I'm a Lupe psychiatrist, and if
things get out of hand, I WILL have to talk you out of this..."
"No worries, man!" Peacepaw sat comfortably
on the ground, still holding his sign. "We'll just be starving ourselves for
three weeks to show our outrage. Nothing too bad, man. All we'll have to worry
about are the cops."
"WHAT?!?" Thornpaw gasped, jumping alert
from his own chained area. "You mean the Riot Chia Brigade?!? Don't they spray
your eyes with asparagus juice and force you to listen to M*YNCI?!"
"We'll stand strong, though, won't we friends?"
Stenchpaw, Thornpaw, and Al, the only people
who would support Peacepaw, didn't look so sure.
"Well..." Thornpaw reached for a saw he had
hidden near a bush. "It was nice being here, but..."
Peacepaw slammed the sign over Thornpaw's
head with a dull thud.
"No, man!! Don't be a nark!! We WILL fight
on till the bitter end!!"
"Geez, I've never seen you so violent over
non-violence..." Thornpaw muttered, rubbing his head and tossing the saw away.
"All right, man, let's begin our peace chant!!"
The group sighed, rolling their eyes as Peacepaw
launched into song, waving the sign and singing in a loud, protective voice:
her I say!
So she can
have her way!
here and starve ourselves to near death,
Till we get
what we want!
We'll be beaten
and tormented, and probably hurt,
But we will
still stand strong!
The chia police
And try to
break our arms,
with rubber bullets,
And tear gas
will probably flow,
Oh yes, it
will be painful,
But oh we
The pain the
petpets are feeling,
a lot more!
"All right now, EVERYBODY!!"
Peacepaw looked around, smiling broadly.
"Dude...I said EVERYBODY!!"
A look of disappointment spread over his
He found himself alone. All three of his
supporters had left him. Stenchpaw the skunk Lupe paused from his fleeing to
turn around and wave in his friendly manner, smiling broadly and launching an
excuse in a French accent.
"No offencing to you, friend Peacepaw, but
we are being late for a...er...group dentist appointment!! Farewell being to
you, and good luck!!"
Peacepaw sighed as they faded away into the
distance, tossing their chains aside and looking over their shoulders for the
"Dude...if they could be any more narkish,
they'd be narks."
(Actually, Nark means an informant or stool pigeon, so Peacepaw is horribly
incorrect in calling them narks. Just a little thought...)
Peacepaw crossed his arms and pouted, starting
his song over again by himself...
"Hm...who's that odd Lupe out there, chained
to the fence? Did I order to have him tortured, or did he do that himself?"
"He did it himself, mam." The burly security
Lupe nodded in a deep voice. He put a paw to his ear, listening to the little
microphone hidden inside before crossing his arms. "And, it appears as though
he's protesting the Petpet Testing."
"What a loser." Usumoshi snorted, whirling
around in her seat to face the committee of Usuls in suits that lined the table.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to show
you all this!"
She pushed a button on a lime-green remote,
and a TV screen lowered from the ceiling, flashing on to reveal Peacepaw from
some camera outside.
"This is a protester. Our number-one obstacle.
Alone, they are nothing. We must squash them like the flies they are before
they get a chance to spread that horrible hippy disease. This, my friends, is
a lone hippy. Pretty sad sight, don't you think? We're lucky that Neopia has
become so cowardly nowadays. Now, here is how to deal with them..."
Three security Lupes burst out of the building,
marching up to Peacepaw. Chopping off the chains with relative ease, they began
slapping him around until he looked thoroughly miserable. Dusting off their
paws, the Lupes hurled Peacepaw away.
"See? That simple. No problems. Now, back to business..."
Outside the Usumoshi Industry
Peacepaw sighed, black-eyed and bruised,
as he made his way down the path home.
"Oh, if I were unhappy, I'd be happy again,
because I live with happy people..."
"Who are all your happy friends!" A loud
chorus finished for him.
Peacepaw blinked, looking up and gasping
in awe. A broad smile spread across his beaten face as he began to laugh.
Almost every single Lupe who was a Lupe in
Lupe Forest now stood before him, holding signs and dressed in Hippy clothing.
Al proudly walked over to him, wearing a green lab coat and a crown of daisies.
"We spread the word...um..."
He looked into his 'Learn Hippy' dictionary.
"Man! That's it! We spread the word, man,
and we're here to help you give power to the people! Rock on!"
"I had nothing better to do, and I'm NOT
putting on that stupid jacket." Hollypaw, in her normal Christmas Lupe Jacket,
tossed aside a light brown coat adorned with beads, rolling her eyes.
"This...is like...so beautiful!"
Peacepaw ran up to Hollypaw and gave her
"DID YOU JUST CALL ME A MAN?!?"
Hollypaw hurled the already abused Lupe over
her shoulder, snarling. He landed into the gold-coloured arms of Goldpaw, the
"Gee, watch where you're flying there!"
Goldpaw promptly dropped him on the ground,
dusting off his paws.
"Yep, every Lupe in Lupe Forest that isn't
asleep or in jail is here right now. I've gotten everything prepared, and we're
ready to strike. Just give the word, Peacepaw!"
"Right!! Let's go men!!...and women," he
added, taking a look at Hollypaw. The group cheered as Peacepaw led them onward,
paws and picket signs up in the air...
Back at the Office Room
"Uh, mam...I think you should turn on
the TV again...there's been reports of something...new..."
Usumoshi's eyes narrowed as she pressed a
button on the remote control. The TV lowered from the ceiling, and once again
a camera image of the front gate appeared. Suddenly, a burst of flame shot from
somewhere off screen, and the security Lupes protecting the gate were blasted
away, smouldering. Usumoshi's supreme smirk fell.
With another blast of flame, a tough-looking
fire Lupe appeared. He scowled, firing blast after blast of hot flame at the
testing building until the doorway melted and fell open. He marched inside,
and Usumoshi could only wince as she heard more blasts of fires and the yelps
of the Scientists she has hired.
Moments later, the building burst alight,
and Hotpaw marched out, all the little petpets following behind him. He looked
over to the camera, scowling for a moment before crossing his eyes and sticking
out his tongue.
Suddenly, all the Lupes of Lupe forest filed
through the gates, holding large signs and led by Peacepaw. They marched in
circles around the building, yelling and singing loudly and waving their paws
in the air. Any attempt by the security Lupes to harm them was stopped by the
tough Hollypaw, Hotpaw, and Warpaw, Peacepaw's brother.
A large Lupe screamed like a girl as Hollypaw
hurled him over the fence.
"WHO WANTS TO WRESTLE?!?"
She bared her teeth at the remaining guards.
They blinked, turning around to see Hotpaw, grinning with his flaming hot paws.
They turned around a little more to find Warpaw, cracking his large red knuckles.
Abandoning their uniforms and ear microphones,
they joined in the protesting.
gonna let no Usul turn me around!
Turn me around!
Turn me around!!
are saaaaaaaaying, is give
6, 8, testing on petpets
illegal in every state!
All kinds of chants and songs of protest
went into Usumoshi and her committee's ears, as well as threats. Stenchpaw picked
up a mutant Meekins, a tear coming to his eye.
"I shall be being adopting you, as you have
been through much pain, no?"
Several more of the Lupes and Al's Cobrall,
Fluffy, rounded up the petpets in a big circle, where they all held paws (if
they had paws) and began to sing along with the rest.
Usumoshi's keen hearing caught every single
word and sappy lyric, and she was slowly bubbling up with rage.
Suddenly, Fluffy popped up VERY close to
the camera. He hissed, smiling and winking at the astounded Usumoshi before
chomping down on the lens. There was a fizzling sound and the screen turned
into snow as the TV levitated into the ceiling.
Usumoshi, probably for the first time in
her life, was speechless. Everyone in the room stared at her, waiting for a
reaction. She felt herself begin to tremble. Suddenly, a smile spread on her
"The cops!! We can call the cops! They can..."
"Nah ah ah, Usumoshi!!"
She paused from reaching for the phone as
she heard a voice over a megaphone.
"We know what you've been doing. This is
Goldpaw, the Alpha of Lupe Forest. We'd like you to know that this protest is
entirely peaceful. We have permission from the Neopian Staff and the Faerie
Queen to do this. I have the papers right here. We'd also like to take this
opportunity to tell you that you have a spotty bum, and your sooooo fat that
when you walk down the street in that ugly lime green dress, people yell 'LEMON
Usumoshi suddenly turned pink.
"Excuse me...I have to...uh...use the little
She dashed out of the room, escorted by two
large security Lupes. The committee looked around for a moment.
"Wait a minute..." one fat little Usul remarked.
They darted after her, scrambling out of
their fat little seats and chasing after the now running Usul...
Several Weeks Later...
"This is NTV news, reporting live from
the abandoned Usumoshi Industries building. Usumoshi signed a deal with Satoshi
Usumukashi to use his petpets for testing. For several weeks, she exposed the
poor things to countless amounts of chemicals to develop her next big perfume.
Fortunately, a group of protesters led by
peace advocator Peacepaw R. Splitz and Alpha of Lupe Forest, Goldpaw, fought
against her. The news about this was spread by learned Lupologist Alexander
T. Chia, Thornpaw McNamara, and Stenchpaw Lupaire, who had nearly died from
exposure to Odour of Stenchpaw, an Usumoshi-sponsored perfume, just months ago.
Usumoshi and her business associates, who
were in the building, tried to flee in a helicopter, but her engine was damaged
and she crashed nearby, allowing her to be swarmed by the protesters. Inside
sources tell us that Malkus Vile, who has a grudge against Millionaire Usumoshi,
did the damage to her motor, but these are not yet confirmed.
The protesters remained peaceful, and they
got what they wanted. The Faerie Queen has now declared all petpet testing illegal.
Usumoshi, however, will not be charged with any crime, as she ended her contract
with Mr. Satoshi Usumukashi.
However, Usumukashi is now filing a lawsuit
for breaking the contract, and now Usumoshi is paying a rather LARGE fine. Usumukashi
was quoted as saying 'I TRUST her all right.'
In other news, Peacepaw is now planning to
go back to his peaceful valley until the need for a hippy with a guitar comes