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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 29th day of Gathering, Yr 22
The Neopian Times Week 56 > Articles > The Evil Neopet Interviews: Hubrid Nox

The Evil Neopet Interviews: Hubrid Nox

by bluescorchio104

Having competed in vain against Hubrid Nox in numerous Better Than You contests, I was quite eager to find out more about this mysterious (and apparently evil) Neopet. Having being tutored by me in the fine art of interviewing, my Scorchio, Bluefire104, was quite keen to try out his new skills, so, reluctantly, I decided to let him go solo, and interview Hubrid Nox by himself. Now keep in mind, everything written from this point forward is written by Bluefire104.

This is my first article!

HAUNTED WOODS - Hi, my name is Bluefire104, the one and only. As you probably know, I am Bluescorchio104's only Neopet. Anyway, I couldn't believe it when he finally gave in and let me write an article! Having assisted him in almost all of his interviews, I'm pretty experienced. As you know, it all started when Bluescorchio104 got interested in Hubrid Nox. So, of course, he sent me to find out all about him. I started by collecting data from average Neopians all around Neopia. Even though I must have interviewed at least a hundred, none of them had given me any concrete evidence of Hubrid's whereabouts. So, that day, I packed Bluescorchio104's Green Backpack (which he generously lent me) full of food and weaponry (but mostly food) and brushed up on my tracking skills. After waving goodbye to Bluescorchio104, I set off on my mission. I winged my way to the Better Than You studio, where the latest contest was taking place. Just like I suspected, Hubrid Nox was the contestant. After waiting almost all day, doing nothing but munching on Economy Jelly Beans, I finally spotted Hubrid Nox leaving. Following from a safe distance, I carefully tracked Hubrid Nox to a narrow, dank alley that smelt like a room full of Dung Furniture.

Watching from behind a discarded cardboard box, I spotted Hubrid carefully moving a rubbish bin to one side, revealing a dark hole. He quickly glanced around, and then dropped nimbly down the hole, disappearing from sight. Automatically, with a mechanical grinding noise, the rubbish bin slowly began sliding back over the hole. With no time to lose, I leapt out from behind my hiding place, and dived head first into the hole. As I landed I curled into a ball and went into a roll, absorbing most of the impact. I uncurled myself, and opened my eyes to absolute darkness. Fishing out a pair of Seek Visors (bought during a visit to the VirtuPets Space Station) from the Green Backpack, I donned them, and took another look around. This time, illuminated in a creepy green light, I saw that I was in fact in a stone corridor. Careful to not trip over on the rough stone floor, I started walking. After what seemed to be hours of walking (it probably was hours, but I didn't have a watch at the time) and several rest breaks (during which I consumed over half the supplies in the Green Backpack), I came to a grimy, damp wooden door. After quickly scanning the surface, I swiftly located an iron ring, which I assumed was the handle.

After pulling with all my might upon the door, the door wouldn't budge, and I decided to take a breather, and rested against the cold stone wall. A few minutes later, I got back up again, and standing a few metres back, let fly a torrent of fire from my mouth, completely incinerating the door, all except for the iron ring, which, half-melted, dropped to the floor with a loud clang, which echoed all along the corridor (it was only afterwards that I realised that the door was meant to be pushed, not pulled). Hoping that no one had heard the clang of the iron ring, I stepped through the doorway, only to be greeted by a steep set of stairs. Heaving a heavy sigh, I started trudging up the stairs. When I finally reached the top landing, I was faced with yet another door. After testing to make sure that the door was locked and I was not merely pushing in the wrong direction, I came to the conclusion that this door was genuinely locked. Naturally enough, I hoped to pass this obstacle stealthily. I quietly took out my Million Degree Sword, and sliced neatly through the hinges. The lock the only thing preventing the door from falling down, I quickly stowed the sword back into its sheath, and grabbed the door with my paws, my sharp claws gouging out deep, firm holds into the wood. I wrenched lightly, and the door slid smoothly out from the doorframe. I leaned the door gently against the wall, and strode quietly into the gloomy, torch-lit room beyond. To my disappointment, it was completely empty. It did, however, have three doors leading off into different directions. Taking off my Seek Visor and stowing it within my Green Backpack, I wondered where the doors led. Checking my Compass, I noticed there was a door positioned in the east, one in the west, and one in the north. I had just emerged from the south door. I opted to take the door to the east, and upon opening it, was greeted by a huge, spotlessly white room, containing gigantic amounts of complex machinery, rows of computers, several Robot Neopets and a few Mutant Kacheeks working at the computers with breathtaking speed and concentration. Wary of being caught, I closed the door quietly, as not to disturb the occupants. I turned back to the torch-lit room and decided to take the door to the west. I opened the west door and looked inside. Inside was a vast stone room, filled with bubbling cauldrons and bulky racks of bottles containing what seemed to be potions, vile ooze, and even things I couldn't even remotely comprehend.

In the very centre, on a raised stone platform, was none other than Edna the Witch, busy casting spells and chanting in an eerie, moaning voice. Needless to say, I quickly withdrew, and headed straight for the north door. Inside the colossal room, at the far side, was Hubrid Nox, completely alone, seated in a throne made from some kind of blood-red stone, with trimmings of gleaming obsidian. I silently stepped into the room, and noting the numerous statues of Hubrid Nox in various poses adorning the room, took cover behind a large, shadow black sculpture, representing Hubrid Nox laughing maniacally, the eyes crafted from shining rubies. I was maybe twenty metres away from the throne, and silently, making use of my Orange Invisihat (taken from the handy Green Backpack, of course), darted from statue to statue (boy, were they ugly!), till I was within fire breathing distance (approximately four metres). After a hasty check for hidden guards and potential interfering Mallards (don't even bother asking me why I checked for Mallards) I took off the Invisihat, and stepped out from behind the statue I was currently hiding behind. Almost immediately, Hubrid Nox snapped out of his motionless meditation, and growled "Who goes there?" (talk about a cliché!). Respectably, I bowed my head slightly, and replied "Bluefire104, sir. I wish to interview you, and find out more about your esteemed person. Your reputation for greatness has spread far and wide." Hubrid Nox, seemingly unaffected by my flattery, answered, "You may, on the conditions that you shall answer truthfully any questions I ask you, and that no information passed within these walls shall be spoken of ever again." Crossing my fingers behind my back, I responded with "Sure".

Bluefire104: So, Mr. Nox, how do you do?

Hubrid Nox: I am in perfectly good health.

Bluefire104: May I call you Hubrid?

Hubrid Nox: You may.

Bluefire104: Great! So, do you have any plans for world domination? Don't be offended, it's just that I learnt from Bluescorchio104 that's the first thing you ask in an interview.

Hubrid Nox: In fact, I do have some plans to enslave Neopia.

Bluefire104: Interesting. Does the room with high tech stuff and room filled with hocus-pocus stuff have anything to do with it?

Hubrid Nox: Yes they do. As you see, my esteemed personage wishes to control Neopia. So you see, I carefully analysed every major attempt to take over Neopia since the beginning of written history. None of the attempts were successful, whether they utilised magic or technology. So, I came to the conclusion that with a blend of both, I would be enabled to effectively rule Neopia with relatively little opposition.

Bluefire104: Wow, that's amazing! So, I guess that means in one room, you're developing magical powers, and in another you're researching technology, right?

Hubrid Nox: Precisely. I have the finest witch in the land working on building up a huge store of magical power that can be released by a simple incantation, and the creation of powerful magical weapons with which I will subdue my enemies. I also have the finest scientists in Neopia, namely Mutant Kacheeks with their abnormally large brains and Robot Neopets with their computing power, working on the development of high-tech weapons of mass destruction.

Bluefire104: What do you mean by "powerful magical weapons" and "high-tech weapons of mass destruction" exactly?

Hubrid Nox: Currently, Edna is working on a magical Flame Wand. She's also created prototype of a souped up version of a Lightning wand, with greatly enhanced power. Both weapons are powered by a Faerie battery. The Flame Wand is powered by a Fire Faerie battery and the Lightning wand is powered by a Light Faerie battery.

Bluefire104: What's a Faerie battery?

Hubrid Nox: In effect, a Faerie imprisoned within a small chamber, with magical energy constantly drained from it. The chamber is small enough to attach on to the weapon without being a hindrance.

Bluefire104: That's cruel!

Hubrid Nox: (ignores Bluefire104) And by "high-tech weapons of mass destruction" I mean that the Mutant Kacheeks and Robot Neopets are busy developing radically improved Lightning Guns powered by mini Zyrobian radioactive batteries. One zap from those could knock out ten fully grown Elephantes. They're also working on an upgraded version of the Goo Blaster, with laser sighting and explosive ammunition. They're planning to call it the Goo Bazooka 2000, I believe.

Bluefire104: Whoa! They've been really busy, haven't they!

Hubrid Nox: (laughs ominously) Those are merely the weapons to be used by foot soldiers. They're peashooters compared to the extremely dangerous military hardware.

Bluefire104: And who exactly are these "foot soldiers"?

Hubrid Nox: That's where the real genius comes in. You see, not only have I developed magical and high-tech weapons, I've also developed magical and high-tech soldiers!

Bluefire104: What!!!!

Hubrid Nox: Edna has already managed to create a spell to resurrect zombies, and my technological team has already developed robot soldiers. The Robo Grarrl is an example of one of the early prototypes gone rogue.

Bluefire104: (says nothing, an amazed expression on his face)

Hubrid Nox: The two types of soldier compliment each other nicely. The zombies cannot be killed, but only dismembered. Alas, they are also slightly clumsy with some of the more complex weapons. The robots are heavily armoured, but not invincible. Their weapons are more like interchangeable parts, rather than handheld weapons.

Bluefire104: Do you have any, um, normal troops?

Hubrid Nox: Yes, in fact I do. Various greedy Neopets willing to share my glory have come from all around Neopia. Every type of pet has signed up, from Faerie Neopets to Mutant ones, from Krawks to Lennys.

Bluefire104: Wow. Hey, Edna seems to be doing a lot of work- what does she get out of it?

Hubrid Nox: She shall be my second-in-command of the Haunted Woods.

Bluefire104: Hmmm. You seem very well prepared. How long have you been planning all of this?

Hubrid Nox: To be precise, exactly a seventeen years, two months and five days.

Bluefire104: Whoa! That plan is older than I am! Well, thank you for answering all my question, but I better go know. I'm getting hungry, and I've already eaten everything edible in my backpack.

Hubrid Nox: But you said that no information passed within these walls shall be spoken of ever again.

Bluefire104: Yeah, that's true. What about it?

Hubrid Nox: But you will. Therefore I took that statement to mean you would join my army.

Bluefire104: But I don't want to!

Hubrid Nox: Well, I don't think you have a choice.

At that instant Hubrid Nox began wailing an eerie incantation. Immediately, the statues of Hubrid strewn around the room began slowly moving, pulling their heavy feet from their various platforms and sluggishly stepping onto the floor. All I could do was stare in horror at the animation of these statues. Slowly, they began heading for me, taking long, heavy steps, their every footstep echoing through the room. Hubrid Nox kept up his chanting, getting more and more intense. I quickly launched myself into the air, but was slightly inconvenienced by the ceiling, wasn't as high as I would have liked. I flew through the air, heading for the door from which I had came, more than once skimming the fingertips of a statue reaching into the air. Eventually, I came to the door, and ducked my head as I soared through it. When I next looked up, on either side I saw Hubrid's forces moving towards me. I dodged their attempts to catch me and rocketed down the staircase, and pulled up sharply once I had reached the bottom, to prevent being splattered against the stone floor.

I quickly reached in to the Green Backpack, whipped out my Seek Visor, donned it, and sped through the corridor, hoping to spot the end, where I knew the hole up to the surface would be. Before long, I heard sounds of pursuit, and turning around briefly, I let loose a huge fireball, which rocketed down the passageway at a high speed. Rather than watch Hubrid's minions be incinerated, I picked up my pace, and after around an hour of high speed flying, spotted the hole in the ceiling through the Seek Visor. Without any regard for the rubbish bin covering the hole, I took out the Million Degree Sword once again, and held it straight in front of me as I turned sharply upwards. As I had planned, the sword sliced through the bottom of the rubbish bin like a Golden Butterknife through Vegan Cheese, and before I knew it, I was soaring out in the open air (nonetheless covered in rubbish). I winged my way back home, and completely exhausted, and collapsed onto my Tiger Bed.

With any luck, Hubrid won't be taking over Neopia any time soon, because he seemed really, really, really, well prepared. If he does, well, it's going to take the citizens of Neopia to band together and stop him!

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