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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 17th day of Gathering, Yr 21
The Neopian Times Week 149 > Articles > 50 Ways to Confuse/Annoy Spectre

50 Ways to Confuse/Annoy Spectre

by cookielover88

GAMES ROOM - Spectre, the hardest player to beat in Cheat. He always knows when you’re lying, when you’re losing, when you’re winning. He almost seems to know what your cards are. Well, I’ve taken the liberty of finding 50 ways to downright confuse him!

50. When you pick up a pile, start giggling uncontrollably. He won’t have any idea what is so funny.

49. Stare at him without blinking while it’s his turn. I guarantee that he’ll start shifting uncomfortably. And while he’s doing that, you can slip a six in with your 2 aces and he won’t even notice!

48. Call him a big fat head.

47. Print out a picture of Spectre, draw a mustache on it, and pass it to him under the table.

46. Convince Agent 00 Hog that Spectre is a spy. Agent 00 Hog will do the rest!

45. Bring out a group of lovely Flotsams while it’s your turn. He’ll be too out of it to accuse you of cheating.

44. Whenever Spectre talks, start making a fart sound. He’ll be too disgusted with you to remember what he was going to say.

43. Convince Princess Fernypoo to put make-up on Spectre. He’ll lose his self esteem and will be too embarrassed to say anything to anyone. That includes accusing people.

42. Call him a REALLY big fat head.

41. Get out a can of sardines and hide it somewhere in the room. He’ll start looking for it, and you can cheat while he isn’t looking.

40. When it’s his turn, continually make whispering noises into Agent 00 Hog’s and Princess Fernypoo’s ears. Look his way while doing that. It will make him mad and confused.

39. Get out a red Jetsam plushie, and start making it imitate him.

38. Blow really hard into his ear (if he has one at all).

37. Start pulling on the skin on Spectre’s head where his anchor tattoo is. Make it get long and short, long and short, long and short… I suggest you don’t do this if you want to have five fingers on each hand by the end of the day.

36. Say “Awww! Does the ickle Spectrekins want to play a wittle game?” I also suggest you don’t do this if you still want your head attached by the end of the day.

37. Say “fatty head, fatty head, fatty head!” Over and over again until he forgets he is playing a game and tries to kill you.

36. Offer him 10,000 Neopoints to become a mute.

35. If you don’t have 10,000 Neopoints, offer him the Neopoints you’ve earned so far and the jetsam plushie you imitated him with.

34. Every time Spectre takes his turn, accuse him of cheating. You’ll lose every time, but catch him cheating every time. He’ll get so sick of you showing up at his mansion to play cheat that he’ll let you win in order to get rid of you.

33. Get a baby neopet and tell it to curl up in Spectre’s arms. He’ll either think it’s cute, or he’ll be disgusted. Hopefully he won’t be able to decide, and it will confuse him.

32. Adopt a female flotsam and have her ask Spectre to marry her. He’ll be so happy (hopefully), that he’ll forget about the game.

31. Have your flotsam break up with Spectre. He’ll be so sad (hopefully) that he’ll forget about the game.

30. Have sloth finish him off for you.

29. Poke his big fat head.

28. Convince Fyora that he stole a Faerie Queen Doll from the hidden tower. He’ll be off your hands in no time. :D

27. Throw dung at him.

26. Take a long time in deciding what cards to play. An hour is good. He’ll be half asleep by the time you play your card. Won’t have a chance to call you a cheater!

25. Convince the Neopets team to make a Spectre avatar that you get by losing to him 50 times in a row. He’ll get really sick of seeing Neopians at his door wanting to play cheat and not even try.

24. Read an article about how to confuse him/annoy him. It will annoy him seeing all of the Neopians reading about confusing and annoying him.

23. WRITE an article about how to annoy him.

22. Draw a picture of him and write “Fat Head!” across it for a heading.

21. Take Spectre’s fin and start hitting him with it. It works best if you also chant “Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!” While doing it. Again I suggest not doing this if you have an emotional attachment to your hand.

20. Tie him to the wheel of monotony and watch him spin round, and round, and round…

19. Try to put all 13 of your cards into the pile in one turn. Do it until he gets really irritated.

18. If you’re ever sitting behind him doing something, repetitiously poke him, so that he keeps turning around and trying to figure out who poked him. Make sure you don’t get caught so that he stays really confused.

17. Convince Spectre that Cheat has moved to Tyrannia. Then watch his puzzled face from afar, when he keeps losing at Cheat because in fact he is playing Tyranu Evavu. All of that losing is going to make him confused.

16. Glue everything in your Neohome to the ceiling. Then glue yourself to the ceiling. Call Spectre and invite him over to play Cheat. When he gets there he’ll think he’s walking on the ceiling and end up confused.

15. When he isn’t looking, make bunny ears with your fingers and put them behind his head.

14. Find his mother and invite her to play cheat with everybody. Spectre will be too embarrassed to accuse you of cheating (besides his mother would scold him for being so rude).

13. Yell “Look! Turmaculus is eating your petpet!” He’ll turn around, and while he’s turned stuff the whole pile into his hands. He’ll be very confused as to why he has so many cards.

12. REALLY get Turmaculus to start eating his petpet.

11. Put a “hug me” sign on the back of his big fat head.

10. Never accuse him of cheating the whole entire game…he’ll be confused.

9. Ask him about his childhood. He’ll go into some long, sad, dramatic story and forget that you cheated.

8. After you cheat and he accuses you, hit him on the head with a frying pan so that he forgets that he said that.

7. After you hit him on the head with a frying pan, if he remembers why you hit him on the head with a frying pan, hit him again.

6. Cheat, and then before he accuses you hit him on the head with a frying pan. Then when he comes-to and your turn is over, he’ll wonder why he never accused you.

5. Give him a backrub during the game to confuse him.

4. Read him a story about why Jetsams are going extinct. That will scare him into being quiet.

3. Tell him that he has a humungous fat head.

2. Sing to him. He’ll put down his cards so that you can see them, in order to cover his ears from the horrible sound.

1 After doing all of the above, start being nice to him. That will REALLY confuse him. Tell him that having a fat head is very charming.

Congratulations! You know the key to bugging Spectre out of his mind and how to confuse him until he is clueless! I hope this helps you beat him! Thank you for reading! Neomail me! :P


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