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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 7th day of Eating, Yr 22
The Neopian Times Week 145 > Continuing Series > Mr. Fix-It, I Presume?: Part Three

Mr. Fix-It, I Presume?: Part Three

by appaloosa500

The huge Electric Buzz got out of the carriage and stretched to his full monstrous height I remembered all too well from the day before. The day before…my earstalks twinged at the very thought of it. Then I remembered having absent-mindedly slathered my ears with yellow gook that morning, and Janet's clear advice to put more on every three hours or so to relieve the bruising and keep the discoloration covered. How long would this crazy job last? I didn't even know how long it had been, but at least my captors haven't shown any intention for me not to come out of this episode of my life alive.

     One of the colossal Buzz-guards leaned in and grabbed me by the back of the neck, snatching me outside and dumping me on the hard asphalt. Asphalt? I looked up and saw a huge black warehouse. I read mystery novels; I know a warehouse is a bad guy's preferred HQ. And I hadn't forgotten that "take over the world" comment, though I tried to.

     I didn't speak, couldn't speak, nor was I spoken to. As if I was the object they were treating me like, the Buzz-guard lifted me back up like a sack of Meridellian potatoes and hoisted me over his massive shoulder. Talk about the ultimate in humiliation. I'm a full-grown (well, as much as I was ever going to get) Aisha, and here I am being treated like a kitten, a silly little whiney kitten that doesn't even know how to think for itself.

     Of course, I was doing some serious thinking, no matter how they treated me or thought of my intellectual abilities. Some serious thinking that perhaps my past had something to do with this, and sincerely hoped it didn't. My thoughts were soon to switch into an even higher gear as the substance of my nightmares began to unfold before my eyes.

     The guard dumped me on the ground and my 'host' finally seemed to remember I was there. He smiled, almost as cheerful as he could possibly get. "Here it is, DeSoni! My pride and joy!"

     I looked up and stared, hardly able to believe what I was seeing. "Th-The Lab Ray? Here?" I gasped.

     "Oh, no. A lab ray, yes, the Lab Ray, no. This is, believe it or not, the original prototype for The Lab Ray, invented by Doctor Zappy and received by myself at a private auction on the rather more hidden and illustrious side of Krawk Island. I only have one problem: it doesn't work. That's where you come in."

     I stood up without saying anything and walked over to the gorgeous machine. Now that I was thinking clearer and knew what it was, I could easily see several differences, the most obvious of which was that it was much smaller. Instead of filling an entire room, the topmost console only came up to my forehead, or about to a normal Neopet's waist. The second point I took notice of was the shimmering opal-like liquid substance in a large, glass cylinder-container attached to the ray.

     I stroked the beautiful machine as I studied the console. Gingerly placing a paw on the shining container, I turned my head toward The Buzz. "What exactly does it do? What's wrong with it?"

     The big guy blinked. "You should be able to figure that out yourself. I do believe that's why you're here. Get on with it."

     I huffed, getting a little fed-up with this pompous Buzz's superior demeanor. "Jus' tryin' to save some time…" I mumbled while I got down on all fours and crawled under the electric table and command center of the ray. After fiddling around for a bit, I crawled out and studied the switches, buttons, monitors, and cables covering the top.

     Then I circled the cylinder holding the shimmering, constantly changing liquid, checking the tubes and wires connected around the metal base and getting a little suspicious as to how the Buzz knew I could handle something as complex as this. Carefully taking in every detail, I slowly followed the assorted lengths towards the ray-head itself and studied that for a minute.

     Obviously, while I was doing this, the Buzz dude was getting more than a little impatient. "Well, Mr. Genius? What does it do? What is the problem?" he sarcastically asked, tapping his loafer shoe impatiently.

     "That depends entirely," I walked over to the container of shimmery liquid, "on what this is. It clearly isn't the power source, just as obviously as it IS the guck the ray transforms into beams which transform Neopets."

     The Buzz raised an eyebrow mockingly, waiting for me to finish. I sighed inwardly and got on with it, all the time with the distinct feeling of a noose tightening around my neck.

     "It's not any regular paint, invisibility paint, nor Robot or Mutant adapting guck. My guess is a magic-invulnerability paint, which I happen to know is notorious for clogging and congealing at the most inconvenient of times."

     His eyes widened appreciatively, though not in surprise. That worried me, but I continued on bravely.

     "Isn't that, like, the ultimate in illegal contraband here on Neopia? Not even the Alien Aishas brew this dangerous junk anymore, since they entered their halfway-sincere trade agreement with the Space Faerie." Naturally, I wasn't going to enlighten him as to how I learned all of that fascinating trivia.

     He smirked. "That's where you're wrong. Select few Alien Aishas have rediscovered the recipe to this fantastic formula and have begun to manufacture it once again. More specifically, they've begun to brew magic-invulnerability paint that renders the wearer invulnerable exclusively to faerie magic. I won't pressure you as to how or how much you know, as long as you fix the ray. Now, fix it!"

     I knew I was killing myself, but it was getting more and more obvious that this Buzz was up to something incredibly evil. My ears were beginning to droop from stress, as I knew what I had to do. My paws shook and my jaw was clenched. I really, really didn't want to play the part of the hero, but I shook my head anyway. "No. No, I won't help you defeat the Faeries and take over Neopia."

     SallyGirl, who must not have understood I had a strong feeling as to who she really was, came sauntering over to me and spoke in that silky voice of hers. "Ah, c'mon DeSoni. You can't actually think we're planning on destroying the faeries and setting ourselves up as rulers! Don't be silly." She grabbed my yellow paw in her disco one. "Just fix the little machine and we'll let you go home to your shop. I promise the faeries will not be harmed-"

     I angrily yanked my paw out of her and backed away. "How stupid do you honestly take me for? Sure, you're not going to destroy them. You'll bottle them up and sell them as that stinkin' rich and evil Balthazar does! I'm sure 'bottled faerie queen' would make quite an expensive trophy for any living room! This is so absolutely cliché, captured and forced to work for a rich villain bent on world domination!"

     The Buzz, tired of my ranting, stomped forward angrily and grabbed me by my shirtfront (at least not my earstalks), twisting it so I had to really concentrate to breathe. "You will fix my ray!"

     "I won't!" I managed to huff out, despite my lack of breath.

     "Then I suppose it doesn't matter if I tell the world about how you know so much about magic-invincibility paint, Mr. Deformed Alien Aisha!"

     For a second I could've sworn my heart had stopped. My mouth dropped open. What?! How!? I was right when I felt I was going through a nightmare.

     "Th-That's not true! I'm normal, if short! You-You're bluffing!"

     "And what if I drop a few names? Madam Commander Jierdana? Young Kregor Geiger? Captain Galbatorix? Trust me, I am not bluffing."

     Now my ears were big-time drooping. How? My worst nightmare had come true: my secret was out. How did he uncover my ex-identity? It was all true; I had to face it once again. I was born an Alien Aisha, tragically missing my two extra earstalks. All my life I had been treated like a freak, a complete weirdo, a 'Neopian', which was considered the worst of all of the insults on our planet. Madam Commander Jierdana had been one of the few to recognize my potential value as a spy, and I had been so incredibly grateful I didn't care what I did for her. I had dealt so much in the black-market and helped so many illegal and sinister uprisings. But I came to fall in love with Neopia, seeing how everyone was so happy and peaceful, how the faeries kept everything in order, and had thus abandoned the Alien Aishas and their purpose. I knew they'd find me someday, but why so soon?

     "Well, DeSoni? Or should I call you by your birth name: Derek Sonix."

     I haven't heard that name in years.

     "I'd say you're in a pretty bad position, Derek. You're a traitor to your people, a liar to your friends, an nuisance to the authorities, a spy to the faeries-"

     "STOP!" I interrupted. "You can't even blackmail me that way if you tried! Fyora already knows! You can't turn me over as an illegal either, because she granted me citizenship and full rights! Guess you didn't do your research as thoroughly as you thought, huh?!"

     He dropped me abruptly on my tail in a very familiar manner and laughed in a cold way that absolutely terrified me. "I underestimated you once again. First, by not expecting you to look and act so much like a normal Aisha. Second, expecting you to be a complete coward and do whatever I told you to. Third, your rather surprising intellect. And, now, fourth, the fact that you had the guts to approach the Faerie Queen herself! But, no matter, I wasn't intending to turn you over to any Neopian Authorities."

     What? Not, then… that must mean…

     Now that girl Aisha laughed and whipped a Disco Paintbrush out from under her cape. With two quick swipes she had a total of six ears. "Invisibility paint, Derek Sonix, or have you forgotten how we use it to blend in? BB, or Bad Buzz, here has kindly offered to turn you back over to us if you fail to comply with his, or should I say our, wishes."

To be continued...

Author's Note: Please Neomail me on what you think about this turn of events! Stay tuned!

Previous Episodes

Mr. Fix-It, I Presume?: Part One

Mr. Fix-It, I Presume?: Part Two

Mr. Fix-It, I Presume?: Part Four

Mr. Fix-It, I Presume?: Part Five

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