DARIGAN CITADEL -We all know who Master Vex is -- the undisputed Cellblock
champion of Neopia (Could have guessed that, he invented the game), and Darigan
prison warden. But, with the new war, some people would like to know -- is he
our ally, or another enemy we must overcome? Allow me to go into a history of
Master Vex to settle the dispute. By the end of the article, we should all have
a pretty good idea of his intentions.
Master Vex is an incredibly bored prison warden. He often falls asleep on
the job, and he created Cellblock as a pastime for himself. He tells his prisoners
they may go free if he beats them, but none of them ever have. This is probably
a good thing, because he is lying through his teeth. However, many of our fellow
Neopians have bested Vex multiple times on friendly terms. Is this because the
other prisoners are just not good at the game, or is he letting us win... During
the Invasion of Meridell, Vex met with the Yellow Knight and other Darigan guards
upset with the Lord's maniacal actions and destruction. He was there at the
fall of the Spectre of Lord Darigan, along with Skarl, Jeran, and our champion,
the Castle Defender. There is an example right there: he helped in the downfall
of Darigan. More recently, he has been imprisoned in his own dungeon by Lord
Kass to get him out of the way in his plans. This proves that Vex could have
stopped Lord Kass if left free.
Knowing this evidence would not be enough, I went up to the citadel to interview
Vex. I know he could answer me. I quietly approached the citadel, grasping my
Attack Fork in a defensive position, as Kass has been volatile in his attacks
lately. I quietly pulled back the trap door and approached the guard. I showed
him my Silver Trophy, and he let me pass. I entered the prison cell that contained
Clop and spoke to him about Vex.
Me: “So, what do you think of this new war?”
Clop: “Clop, clop, clop, clop. (A little frightening, as of now.)”
Me: “And what do you think of Master Vex?”
Clop: “Clop, clop clop, clop. (He has been a little less evil lately.)”
After talking to Clop, I played a few rounds of Cellblock with him. As usual,
he didn’t put up much of a fight. The next door swung open and I walked into
the room. I could not see Barallus, as he was hanging from the ceiling. He dropped
down with his usual greeting of “Eek, Eep, EEP!” I talked to this prisoner as
well. I began with a simple question, handing Barallus a Bottle of Water and
some Glowing Jelly.
Me: “So, how have you been?”
Barallus: “Eep, nicely lately Eek.”
Me: “And Vex?”
Barallus: Eek, still can’t beat him Eep.”
Once again, I decided to play some Cellblock. He went without much of a fight.
I let him finish his food and continued on into the next cell. Squire Meekel
was curled up in the corner, his normal position. I helped him up to the table
and handed him a Ghostkerwich and began the conversation.
Me: “So, how have things been going for you?”
Meekel: “Jjjust ffine…”
Me: “What about the warden?”
Meekel: “He is ookay, ittt’s the gguardss I am worried abbbout…”
I let him finish his Ghostkerwich and I eventually talked him into a game
of Cellblock. This game, as previous ones, went the same way. I chatted a little
more with him before I went on.
Me: “How do you feel?”
Meekel: “Oookayy, Ii gguesss…”
I proceeded on with more vigor to find out about Vex. My search led into the
inner citadel, where I found the higher level prisoners. They were not as easy
to beat at Cellblock as the first three, so I went on with extreme caution.
I found the next guard and showed him my identification, and he let me pass.
I entered the next cell where I found the Yellow Knight practicing his swordsmanship.
I stopped him and interviewed this prisoner. I had a little more time before
I had to go see a certain ice worm, so my conversation was a bit more detailed.
Me: “Hello, good sir. How are you this fine day?”
Yellow Knight: “I am fine, for someone locked in a dungeon all day long. How
are you, my friend?”
Me: “I am fine. How did you end up in here?”
YK: “It is a long story, but here it goes. When Kass was a general and Darigan
was in charge, there was another war. It was all about a shining gold orb that
Skarl’s troops found somewhere. It seemed Darigan wanted it, and war broke out.
However, a week before, my brother was preparing to go to war. I wanted to battle
as well, but he would not allow it. That night, I escaped from the castle and
attempted to raid the citadel. I was captured by some Skeith guards and was
brought before Darigan. After hours of waiting, he had me thrown in the dungeons.
I was locked up in poor conditions until after the war. Vex found that I had
escaped immediately before Darigan went power-mad, and I assisted the fall of
his spectre. I was given better conditions and regular meals, but I still can’t
beat Vex at Cellblock.
Me: “Honest question. Do you believe Vex is evil?”
YK: “No. He was vital in the downfall of Darigan. If he did not help, only
the people of Meridell would try to bring him down, and he may have been absolute
ruler of all Neopia by now.
Me: “Do you want to play some Cellblock?”
YK: “I see no reason why not. Give me all you have!”
I sat down with the knight and played Cellblock. After much struggle, I emerged
the victor. I decided to talk a bit more before leaving.
Me: “How was that?”
YK: “I now see why you could beat Vex. Watch out for 5, he has eaten too much
I knew Number 5 was a little on the edge, so I got my Dream Orb ready, just
in case he went insane. I carefully walked into the next cell where I found
5 stuck to a wall. I tried to talk with him, but I knew it would be hard.
Me: “Are you okay?”
5: “J…Jell… JELLY WORLD!!!”
I knew it would be impossible to communicate with him, so I just played Cellblock.
When I beat him, he went nuts. I flashed my Dream Orb and put him out. I carefully
exited the cell and went up to a huge wooden door, where another guard was standing.
I once again showed my ID, and proceeded into the guard quarters. I found Galgarrath
sitting at a table, drinking a cup of tea. I requested an interview, and grudgingly
Me: “How are you?”
Galgarrath: “Just fine.”
Me: “do you want to play some Cellblock?”
Galgarrath: “Why do you insist on playing that stupid…”
Master Vex shouted “I heard that” from the other room, signaling Galgarrath
to be silent. Galgarrath then said this:
I played a match of seven games with him, and he lost. He opened the door,
mumbling to himself:
“Why do I put up with him…”
I then found Haskol in the next room. He grunted, telling me to sit down. I
was forced to play a 9-round match of Cellblock with him before I got an interview.
I took this match seriously, as I knew that Vex was in the next room. I easily
beat him before he went mad, so I once again flashed the Dream Orb to put him
out. The next door was opened immediately and I walked in with glee, knowing
that Vex was behind this door. I saw him sitting at his desk playing Cellblock
with himself. I asked for an interview calmly, and he accepted. This is what
I was waiting for! I sat down and talked to him.
Me: “Hello, Master Vex. How are you?”
Vex: “Hmm… If I move here… Oh! I am fine today. And you?”
Me: “Very good. How did you become warden?”
Vex: “After a band of Meridellian knights stole our orb, Darigan turned the
land into his citadel. I was Darigan’s top adviser before the war, so he made
me the dungeon master.
Me: “Why did you support Darigan when the Meridell Knights stole the orb?”
Vex: “I lived in Darigan. I wanted to reclaim the orb to make our homeland
the majestic, peaceful land it once was. That was also Darigan’s intention until
he became power-mad.
Me: “Why did you invent Cellblock?”
Vex: “Being a prison warden is not a fun job. I never get to see the light
of day, so I needed some form of entertainment. I created Cellblock as a way
to pass the time. This is my favorite form of entertainment, with sleeping as
a close second.”
Me: “I need to ask you something. Are you evil?”
Vex: “People think that I am evil, but am really not. I simply want to save
the land of Darigan. I lie to the prisoners so I can give them a goal, just
like myself. Besides, Cellblock is fun!”
Me: “Would you like to play?”
Vex: “I am always ready for a game of Cellblock. Just promise not to cry when
I paid no mind to his warning and began playing an eleven round match with
him. Hours later, we both had five wins. He had a row of four ready on the top
right corner, and I had nothing. I went to block him and found that I had a
four-in-a-row set before I blocked. The last move I played finished my five-in-a-row
and won the match for me. I said my last remarks to Vex and left the citadel.
Master Vex has received a lot of recognition lately, with amazing trophies
in his likeness and his own avatar. Vex is simply a Mynci with an urge to save
his homeland. This is his one quest, and it has been impaired by evil intentions
multiple times. I think everyone else should give Vex the respect he deserves
(After all, who else is going to give you 5000 NP a day?). We will see what
happens with Vex in the upcoming war. Until then, let's all play Cellblock!
(Any conversations in this article were fictional. All information in this
article was made by assumptions of the writer. You may Neomail me if you agree,
disagree, or would like more information on this topic. )