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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 26th day of Awakening, Yr 22
The Neopian Times Week 5 > Articles > I'm Just a Punching Bag - The Punchbag Bob Interview

I'm Just a Punching Bag - The Punchbag Bob Interview

by cyaneus

When Punchbag Bob arrived in the Battledome, my pets and I were all excited to give this new sparring partner a try. Jesarla, being my strongest and most battle-experienced pet, begged me to have the first try. I conceded, and we headed down to the Battledome together, while my other three pets spent the day at Grandma Buggles'. I sat at the edge of the arena while Jesarla worked up a sweat trying out her new abilities and weapons. But after a while, I began feeling sorry for Bob... really, it wasn't hard, hearing him yelp "OWEEEEE!" and "I HATE BEING A PUNCHING BAG!" over and over, while a little fire Pteri scratched and kicked and bit the living daylights out of him. I called Jesarla off, and she, pretty much out of energy, sat down and drank a raspberry Achyfi. "It's about time you got tired!" whimpered Bob, and I began wondering exactly what life was like for the poor guy. I decided to take this opportunity to interview him for The Neopian Times, considering he seemed pretty under appreciated in the Battledome

Cy: Punchbag Bob, would you mind if I interviewed you for The Neopian Times?

Bob: Would this involve frost cannons?

Cy: Of course not.

Bob: Sure, then.

Cy: Well, Bob, how do you like being a punching bag?

Bob: I don't even remotely enjoy it. But there's not much else I can do, really, I'm not very mobile and I don't have too many skills. The pay is good, though. And you meet people.

Cy: I'd imagine so, you probably fight thousands of pets a day. Do you ever vent your frustrations at being a Punchbag in creative form?

Bob: Why, yes, I do. I wrote a book, in fact, it's called "Inside the Mind of Bob."


More Theories

Cy: Really?

Bob: Yes, it's a new book.

Cy: Ah, I see. Well, Bob, do you have a NeoHome?

Bob: No, I don't really need one. I don't sleep, you see, I'm a Punchbag Not that I wouldn't mind sleep, fighting NeoPets day and night.

Cy: I can understand that.

Jesarla: Mum, I'm done with my soda pop, can we fight some more?

Bob: AAAAIIIIIIIEEEE!!!

Cy: Erg, no. I don't think so. Why don't you sit down with us and have a nice ice lolly?

[At this point in the interview I gave Jesarla an appletastic ice lolly I had with me. She unwrapped it, and it kept her busy for a while.]

Cy: So, Bob, how do you get along with the other one-player opponents?

Bob: Well, the Mummy is a wonderful fellow, a great conversationalist, really. The Brain Tree is also a good chat, but he smells sort of odd. The Pant Devil? Well, I can't say I like the fact that he goes around snickering at everything, it makes me sort of uncomfortable. Oh, and the Mutant Chia is quite a laugh. Great sense of humour.

Cy: Well... I can't say I'd ever considered the Mummy a great conversationalist...

Jesarla: The Pant Devil took my rubber ducky!!

Cy: Yeah. Well, are you at all upset that users now get a trophy for beating you?

Bob: Well, yes and no. Yes, because it means that more people are bashing me every day, and that's not all that much fun... but I must admit that it's also not that easy to knock a Punchbag unconscious.

Cy: Hrmm, yeah. So do you even own any weapons, Bob?

Bob: Well. Weapons, no. I can't really use them. But I do have a few shields.

Cy: Ah. So you... can't really hurt anyone.

Bob: No. I'm a PUNCHING BAG. That would, of course, defeat the purpose of a punching bag, would it not?

Cy: Sorta. Any tips on beating you in the Battledome?

Bob: Well, none in defending of course, but I suppose you shouldn't use all of your energy at once. I've seen a lot of pets knock themselves out trying. They just get too tired and quit.

Cy: Well, that's good advice. Anything else you'd like to add?

Bob: Well, I think I'd just like to say that although punching bags may have been intended for you to take out all of YOUR anger on, it doesn't mean that we don't have feelings of our own that we wish we could take out on YOU. So um... don't just laugh when I scream in pain... please?

Cy: Sure thing, Bob. And thanks for this interview.

Jesarla: Can I try out my new Ice Sword now?

Cy: Aw, go ahead.

Bob: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!

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