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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 11th day of Eating, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 125 > Continuing Series > Al’s Lupological Holiday Extravaganza!: Part Four

Al’s Lupological Holiday Extravaganza!: Part Four

by al_the_chia

The Skies of Lupe Forest

Hollypaw veered the sleigh into a horizontal path, bursting through a wispy cloud. Swerving the sleigh around in a tight circle, she scowled angrily as she peered behind her shoulder, yanking on the reigns.

     "What the HECK is that CHIA doing here?!?" she yelled to her two companions. The Scorchio Clause hat she was wearing was almost blown off in the wind as she whipped the sleigh to move even faster in an attempt to shake off Al, who was still calmly speaking into his tape recorder.

     "So THIS is what those three were up to. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Warpaw, fire lasers at him!"

     Warpaw clutched the side of the sleigh, feeling ill. "Do you have to move the sleigh so fast?! There are more conventional methods to getting rid of something attached by nothing but a stupid string of light to your sleigh! For instance..."

     "JUST FIRE AT THEM!"

     "We can't!" Warpaw whined. "The lasers only fire forwards from the ship!"

     "Well, do SOMETHING, you moron!"

     Warpaw nodded. He pulled his sword from the box of items and raised it into the sky, where it gleamed in the sun. With a war cry, he ran over to the side of the sleigh and began swinging at the runner of the sleigh.

     "NO, you numbskull!" Warpaw yelled, bursting into panicked flames and setting Warpaw's tail on fire. Warpaw dropped the sword off the side of the sleigh and yelped, beating the flames out as the sword twirled through the air and fell towards the ground...

The Ground

Whatever the blue Acara glumly rang his large silver bell, achieving a rather depressing aura even in a Scorchio Clause costume. He was still standing next to his cauldron, where he had amassed a decent amount of Neopoints for the Soup Faerie Fund.

     "Whatever," he droned, as a green Lupe tossed a few Neopoints into the bucket he was standing by.

     As the green Lupe began to leave, a sword came shooting from the sky. It neatly diced the bucket in half, sending the Neopoints inside scattering. At once, dozens of passing Lupes pounced upon them (including the green Lupe who had tossed some in), greedily grabbing as many as they could as the Acara wearily continued ringing his bell.

     "Whatever."

Back in the Skies

"What was THAT for?" Warpaw bellowed, whimpering and hugging his charred tail.

     "You fool! The slightest disturbance on the delicate machinery could result in an explosion!" Hotpaw checked the engine for any marks or dents as delicately as if a baby Neopet who had swallowed a winning lottery ticket. "If you had hit the engine with that thing-"

     "THAT 'THING' WAS A VERY RARE SWORD!!" Warpaw roared. "Do you know how long it took me to FIND one, and how much they COST?!? YOU FOOL!"

     "YOU BUFFOON!"

     "YOU SLOB!!"

     "That..." Hollypaw screamed from the front. She let go of the reigns, trembling with fury.

     "Is..."

     She turned, her eyes seeming to glow in the eerie Christmas lights. The cute poofy hat on her head whipped in the wind as her face twisted into an expression not dissimilar from pure evil, hatred, and anything else not good. Her teeth gleamed as the muscles in her neck and arms bulged grotesquely, showing the full capacity of her power and rage.

     "ENOUGH."

     She had come this far, and nothing, but NOTHING, would mess up her plan, especially not the two bumbling idiots in the back. Hotpaw and Warpaw seemed to shrink as she advanced upon them.

     (Ah, yet another mishap that could have been avoided with Neopets merchandise. You see, Hollypaw's rage could have been soothed if only someone had taken to time to think of her feelings and purchase her a gift. And what other gift would be perfect other than this lovely Neopets T-shirt, featuring a Tyrannian Kacheek? Don't let THIS happen to you. Please, buy Neopets merchandise for yourself and loved ones today.)

***

Al and Fluffy screeched as Hollypaw heaved up Hotpaw and chucked him over the back of the sleigh. The lupologist kicked his little sneaker-clad feet through the air until he managed to create enough wind to dip just low enough to be narrowly missed by the surprised Lupe, who tumbled towards the ground below.

     "PIFFLEpifflePIFFLEpifflePIFFLEpifflePIFFLE!!" Al yelped.

     He continued his frantic yelping as Hollypaw grabbed Warpaw by the neck, reached into the box, stuffed the festive attack peas he had brought along into his mouth, then whipped him around and pointed him headfirst at Al like a machine gun.

     "ALL CHIAS MUST DIE!!"

     Hollypaw yanked Warpaw's tail with a click, aimed, and pounded him on the head. The festive, adorable little peas were rapidly fired out of the gurgling Lupe's mouth straight towards Al at dangerously high speeds.

     "AHHHHH!!" Al covered his eyes as Fluffy thought fast. With a resolute hiss, he made a rather disgusting noise in the back of his throat, aimed, then began firing negg juice at an equal speed. The rapidly fired loogies blocked the attack peas well, and one wad even managed to hit the still raging Hollypaw in the face.

     "GAAH! MY EYES!" She screamed, tossing the gurgling Warpaw off the side and clutching her eyes. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!"

     Blinded, Hollypaw stumbled forward until she managed to seize the reigns, then, unable to see anything, began yanking at them at odd angles. Al waved his arms through the air and Fluffy clung on for dear life as he suddenly began to dip up and down, around and around, whiplashed and spun and twirled and occasionally coming dangerously close to the flames jetting from the back of the engine. Hollypaw, still blind, pulled the sleigh into a loop-de-loop, and all of its contents, excluding Hollypaw, fell out onto the ground beneath her...

The Ground Beneath Her

Whatever the Acara continued desolately ringing his bell as a fire Lupe crashed through the roof of the shop behind him. A short moment later, the shop caught on fire. After a bit more time, a red Lupe landed rather neatly on his rear into his glued-together bucket, shattering it once again. At once, Lupes pounced upon the Neopoints that scattered, and at once the leftover rotten eggs, vegetables, and toilet paper that had fallen out of the sleigh showered onto them.

     Whatever, untouched by anything, continued ringing his bell, sighing as a rancid tomato splashed juice onto his boots.

     "Whatever."

Back to the Sky

Hollypaw panted, her vision finally returning, but her rage boiling even more. With an inhuman (for that matter, inneopet) roar, she turned around and faced Al.

     "THAT'S IT! I've HAD IT! I don't care if I have to go down with you, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!"

     "PIFFLE!"

     "HAHA!"

     She grabbed the reigns, and with an insane laugh that made both Al and Fluffy wince, she forced the sleigh into a nosedive. The wind screamed across Hollypaw's face, blowing off her hat and blasting back her festive coat. It blew against Al and began emptying his pockets, scattering dozens upon dozens of spare glasses, along with research notes and petpet treats, behind him. It blew against Fluffy and blasted him clean off Al's head. Fluffy freefell for a moment before puffing out his hood enough to stop his fall.

     Fluffy was just about to be thankful to be alive when he realized he still had his headphones on. Horrified he might break them, he stopped puffing out his hood, and promptly fell after his owner and the sleigh.

And, Once Again, the Ground

Whatever paused his bell ringing to listen to a low whistling noise coming from somewhere above him. He sighed as he recognized the noise as something falling, and he picked up the twice-repaired bucket, scattering the Neopoints across the street for the greedy Lupes to lunge at before setting it back down again.

     At once, a blue Cobrall landed in the pot with a light pinging noise, leaving the pot unbroken. Dazed, the Cobrall slithered out of the pot and scrambled away. Whatever blinked blearily at it before shrugging and ringing his bell again.

     "Whatever."

     That's when the sleigh crashed into the small booth several blocks away, followed by the curious Chia in the lab coat. For a moment, there was a kind of suspenseful silence. Then, the engine exploded. Smoke billowed into the sky, and chunks of flaming Neopets merchandise flew through the air, raining down on the now fleeing last minute shoppers. A flaming hunk of metal landed in Whatever's bucket, melting it into an indiscernible lump of plastic.

     The Acara was still calmly ringing his bell as the sirens of the Lupe Forest Fire Squad began to ring through the air.

Furgleton Hospital

"Sleigh bells ring, are you listening!"

     Al hummed as well as one could hum in a full body cast, a songbook propped up in front of him by his Cobrall, who would rather listen to nails on a chalkboard than his owner sing.

     "In the lane, snow is glistening."

     Hollypaw continued glumly, from her bed in the other side of the sterile and white hospital room. Unable to use her cast arms to turn the page, and having no petpet to do it for her, she tried to turn it by nudging the book with her bandaged nose. It collapsed shut, and she lost her temper, thrashing her wood-like, bandaged limbs around in her bed and yelling a few very inappropriate things.

     Al finished the verse cheerily as Chia nurses rushed to restrain Hollypaw.

     "A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight, walking in a winter wonderland!!"

The End

(And Happy Lupe Forest Winter Festival/Carnival Extraordinaire!!)

Previous Episodes

Al’s Lupological Holiday Extravaganza!: Part One

Al’s Lupological Holiday Extravaganza!: Part Two

Al’s Lupological Holiday Extravaganza!: Part Three

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