"EEK!" yelled Harriet.
For they had just turned around and come face
to face with the leader of the Elite Republic of International Chatspeaking
Instigators for the Destruction of Legitimate Expressions, the creature behind
the deadly chatspeaking haze, the beast that imprisoned Jay and Spot... and
it was a pink Lenny named Bill.
"I am Bill!" screeched the pink Lenny.
Harriet muttered under her breath, "I could
have guessed that."
"Thank you Captain Obvious!"
"And his faithful sidekick, DU-"
"GUYS! This isn't the time!" yelled Rosie, whipping
out her longbow.
The pink Lenny eyed the longbow and the other
weapons being held by the League. "You surely don't want to destroy me yet,
do you? Don't you have any questions about my motives? Or at least, I'm guessing
that the lovely Faerie Ixi does," he said, in his squeaky tone.
"Erm, yes, I guess I do," said Rosie, slowly
lowering her longbow.
"First, I think you would like to ask about
Rosie scratched her head. "Yeah, what WERE you
thinking? Destroying Neopia with mindless chatspeaking? I mean, come on..."
Before Bill replied, he failed to notice that
Harriet had snuck out behind Sebastian and into Bill's storage room.
Bill puffed himself up proudly. "An ingenious
plan, if I do say so myself. Why, if everybody (except myself, of course) in
Neopia was reduced to mindless chatspeaking idiots, why, they would come groveling
to me for advice and wisdom! I would be the most brilliant Lenny in Neopia!
I WOULD BE KING!" he shouted.
Albert sighed and shook his head. "Been there,
done that, doesn't work," he muttered to himself.
Bill pounded the air with his fist. "The only
thing standing in my way is YOU FOUR!" he yelled. "And unfortunately, this means
you all are in for a severe flogging!"
"Oh, yeah?" came Harriet from behind him. She
held in her paw a large, green, egg-shaped object. Taking careful aim, she lobbed
it at Bill. It struck him square on the forehead and exploded. Green chatspeaking
haze gas exploded from within, covering Bill with its noxious fumes.
"EEEEK!" he cried from somewhere within the
Rosie watched happily as Bill struggled out
of the gas. Harriet and Sebastian exchanged high-fives.
"Ack! i cant tink! i cant speek! i cant tak
rite! and.... and...." Bill struggled to find the words that just wouldn't come
"Wocky got your tongue?" Rosie said, winking.
"Looks like you were impaled by your own sword,"
Albert said, as Harriet and Sebastian walked over to him, and bound his wings
and feet together with rope.
"U MEENIES! i shall git my intel.... inetelli....
wut's dat wurd? NOOOOOO!!!!" he cried, as the Lupe and Aisha drug him from the
underground lair up into the sunlight.
Rosie turned to Albert. "Only one thing left
to do," she said. "Let's rescue Jay!"
With the aid of a hairpin from Sebastian's utility
belt, Jay and Spot were freed. Jay dusted off his suit and monocle, and stared
with a kind of frenzied admiration at the Ixi and Chia. "You... you... wow,
"No need to thank us, Jay," Rosie said.
"All in a day's work," Albert nodded.
Spot burst into tears, causing his already-prominent
rust stains to, if possible, grow even larger.
Jay sighed as he watched the overly-sensitive
igneous rock bawl his sediments out. He turned back to Rosie and Albert. "Thanks
again. You really did save the day. I'm very proud of you for solving the puzzle
and capturing Bill."
"Awww... Jay, I'm blushing," Albert said.
"In fact, I'm so proud of you, I think I'll
print up a story about this incident and send it into The Neopian Times," Jay
"Really?" cried Rosie. "We could be famous!"
"Well, until then, let's go see about the rest
of Neopia. I wonder if the chatspeaking haze has worn off yet," he pondered
as the four of them left the underground lair and went up to stairs to the Lost
Indeed, it did seem that the effects of the
chatspeaker's haze had worn off. Many creatures were standing around, looking
a bit puzzled, but for the most part, speaking normally. Harriet and Sebastian
were handing over Bill to several severe-looking Defenders of Neopia.
"Top-Security prison cell, this one..." Harriet
"Nooooooo! ima gud gui! I kan chanje mai waies!
PLEEZE!" screamed Bill.
"What's with the vocal chords?" said a gruff
looking Kyrii, nodding at the hysterical Lenny.
"Oh, it's nothing," Harriet grinned.
Sebastian and Harriet rejoined Rosie, Albert,
Jay and Spot for a long-awaited reunion in front of Coltzan's Shrine. The large
ghostly figure of Coltzan watched them happily.
"Good work, Super Authors! I think this calls
for a reward," he boomed from the clouds overhead.
Immediately, the wind picked up, and a large
cloud of dust began to whirl rapidly around the Ixi, Lupe, Chia, and Aisha.
It howled and whistled, and finally died down.
"What happened... whoa! Look at you!" cried
Rosie, pointing at the other three.
"I'm a Desert Aisha! I'm adorable!" cried Harriet.
Indeed, Coltzan's majesty had painted the four
Desert. They stood admiring their new looks. Spot watched, enviously, a solitary
tear running down his rocky face.
Jay looked at the sad rock. "Oh, you wouldn't
want to be painted Desert, Spot."
"Why's that?" asked Spot.
"Well, think about it. There aren't very many
BIG rocks in the desert, so I'm guessing the Desert equivalent of a pet rock
would be a pile of sand."
After this statement, Spot did seem much more
The four Super Authors, along with Jay and Spot,
set off to leave after their long adventure. "Thanks for everything, Coltzan!"
Coltzan nodded. "If there are any more evil
pink Lennys hiding in underground lairs right beneath my very snout, I'll be
sure to call!" he yelled back.
They all laughed, and set off into the evening
"You know what I wonder?" Jay said outloud.
"What?" they chorused back.
"Ah... oh, man! I just forgot what I was going
to say!" Jay said, rubbing his devilishly handsome head.
The Super Authors all glared at Spot. He slouched
down in horror. "Hey! I'm converted-from-evil-Writer's-Block-but-now-a-harmless-pet-rock,
remember? I'm on your side! DON'T BLAME ME!" he yelled, beginning to cry.
"Oh, come off it, Spot."
"Ya, u need 2 stop bieng such a craibabi," said
Spot, Jay, Albert, Sebastian, and Rosie all
whirled around to stare at Harriet in disbelief.
Harriet shrugged in reply to this. "What? It's
kind of contagious," she Grinned.
And they continued on, to what looked like a
very memorable evening.
Awww... poor Harriet. And once again, the day
is saved, thanks to the League of Super Authors! Will Bill ever come back to
haunt the Super Authors? What will the future hold for everybody's favorite
League? Not to mention... well, I guess Bill is a bit... yeah. Well, I guess
you'll never know the answer to these questions, because this really is...