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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 11th day of Eating, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 118 > Continuing Series > Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part Ten

Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part Ten

by stoneman3x

An instant later a blur of fire colored fur streaked across the front lawn towards the row of trash bins. The Chia officers crouching behind them open-fired on the onward rushing Lupe with their Chia bubble guns. The hand painted scarab dangling off of Wolf's belt had a bizarre effect on the volley of projectiles launched in the Lupe's direction. They simply popped like... bubbles. Wolf sailed over the front of the cars with an easy bound and skidded to a halt in the midst of about five Chias. They tossed down their bubble guns and fled in terror towards the watching crowd.

     Wolf simply sat down and watched the spectacle that unfolded with an amused expression on his face. Chias darted about in all directions, colliding into each other and falling over like air-filled punching bags. Several of the officers backed up hastily, narrowing missing several of their comrades. They sped off, with a dozen panicked uniformed Chias racing after them, begging them to stop. The few Chias that remained cowered nervously behind the trash bins that were left. They peeked over the lids in wide-eyed alarm. My fire Lupe hadn't even drawn his sword. Wolf looked over at Officer Bookem. He was still clutching the bullhorn in his stubby paws. His jaw was open wide enough to put a ptolymelon in his mouth.

     "Boo!" Wolf yelled with a delightfully evil glint in his eye.

     The yellow Chia flinched and dropped his bullhorn. Wolf snort-chuckled and turned on his tail. He strode back to the house with a self-pleased swagger. The mob of onlookers erupted into loud cheers. A pack of she-Lupes giggled and waved. When he flashed them a toothy grin, several of them actually screamed and fainted. It was awe inspiring and nauseating at the same time.

     Sally Usul and her reporting crew galloped across the lawn towards Wolf, but he managed to duck back inside the house before they caught up to him. I wouldn't have to read about it, though. I knew what they were going to write about. Wolf entered the Neohome and locked the door behind him.

     "Problem solved," he said crisply.

     He unbuckled his belt, removed his hypno helmet and handed his equipment back to Krawk. The group inside the house looked as stunned as the group outside the house.

     "Hmmm..." Advisor Wessle remarked, clearing his throat. "Yes, for now, perhaps. But the problem is far from being solved."

     "Well, if it's not solved, it's not my problem," Wolf shot back.

     The Kyrii smoothed out his tunic and adjusted his turban. I guess be wasn't used to being shocked and needed a second to compose himself. Then he turned to me and said, "I have a few more important matters to take care of, so I will be leaving now. I'll just add the 250 Neopoints for the press conference to your bill."

     He glanced at the front door for an instant. He obviously decided against using that way for an exit because headed towards the back door. I snapped out of my trance and called out to him just before he reached the hallway that connected livingroom to the diningroom.

     "Hey! What are we supposed to do now?" What if the police come back with bigger weapons or something?"

     "Then I suggest you tap-dance your way across your back room and hide in your underground vault again," he replied with an easy air. "Don't worry. I know the secret combination, so I can get you out if you get stuck again."

     With that, Advisor Wessle turned and left. Stonewolf3x shot me a disapproving glare. I shrugged Babaa-ishly and shifted uncomfortably. This was not exactly the best day I had ever had. The familiar beep beep tones of a hot NTV news flash blared from TV once more.

     "This is Chet Flash with a startling new development occurring in Neopia Central. Live at the Games Pavilion is Sally Usul. Sally?"

     "Yes, Chet. I am here live at Meerca Chase Arena in the Games Pavilion."

     I did a double-take. Five minutes ago she was on my front lawn. Now Sally Usul was in Neopia Central. The NTV News Station had apparently bought a second-hand teleporter from Dr. Sloth to zap the Usul and her camera crew everywhere on the planet. The poor thing probably hadn't even had more than a lemon sprinkle doughnut and a banana cream coffee all day. I wondered what kind of complete stark-raving idiot would want to be a Neopian reporter for a living.

     "As you can see, Chet," Sally continued, "behind me is a large group of yellow Meercas. They appear to be on strike."

     The camera panned in on the "On Strike" sign-carrying Meercas behind her. My first impression was that they appeared to be on strike. Reallyconfused got very excited and began to wave energetically.

     "Ooooo! Those Meercas work at the pit!" he declared happily. "Hi Meerca! And look, Meerca, Meerca and Meerca are there too! Hi Meerca! Hi Meerca! Hi Meerca!"

     RC didn't seem to notice the fact that they all had the same name. Of course, he didn't seem to notice that his friends in the little box weren't waving back either.

     Sally Usul stepped up to the first row of Meercas. They were blocking the entrance to the Meerca Chase Arena. The place that had been swarming with screaming, excited Neopets yesterday stood empty and quiet today. Well, empty except for the mob of Meercas standing there and quiet except for the angry slogans they were shouting. The Usul jammed her microphone under the nose of the first Meerca she came to.

     "Excuse me, what is your name, sir?" Sally asked in her professional live-on-the-scene news reporter voice.

     The yellow Meerca looked cross-eyed at the microphone for a second. Then he stuck out his tongue and licked it like a cherry twist lollypop. It didn't taste very good from the way he make a sour face about it.

     "Do you have another flavor?" he asked.

     Sally shot him a startled look and moved to another Meerca. "Could you tell us what you are doing here today?" she asked, slightly less confident this time.

     The yellow Meerca smiled and pumped the huge sign he was holding up and down in the air. Then he proudly declared, "I'm carrying a sign! It's got words on it and everything!"

     "Ah... I see..." Sally said, shooting a puzzled glance towards the camera. She moved down the line and gamely attempted to interview another yellow Meerca. "Are you striking?" she asked, nodding her head up and down. I think she was trying to give the Meerca a hint about the answer.

     "I no strike anybody!" the Meerca whined defensively. "I a good Meerca!"

     "Oh... sorry..." the Usul apologized and moved briskly to another yellow Meerca. She placed the microphone hesitantly under his chin. "Ummm... " she said nervously, "Can you tell me why you are not playing Meerca Chase today?"

     "Yup!" the yellow Meerca said, waving enthusiastically at the TV camera.

     Sally waited about ten seconds for an answer. She shifted impatiently and coughed slightly before she prodded, "And the reason is...?"

     "It's my day off!" he chirped with a huge grin.

     Poor Sally's arm dropped and the microphone hung limply at her side. She cast a helpless look at the camera. Her lower lip quivered. I think she was about to have a non-professional moment and cry. I really felt empathy for her. I knew what conversations with dim-witted yellow Meerca Chase Meercas could be like. Suddenly a familiar spoke from outside of the camera range.

     "As legal council for the newly established Democratic Union of Mistreated, Despicably Used Meercas, perhaps you would allow me to say a few words."

     The camera swung quickly around to the one who had spoken. It was Advisor Wessle. Sally Usul looked both surprised and relieved.

     "Whoa!" I exclaimed. "I gotta get me one of those teleporter thingies."

     "Arrr, but I can pick ye up one at Smuggler's Cove for a couple of dubloons," Stonekrawk3x drawled.

     At least now I knew why Advisor Wessle wanted a two dubloon coin. Of course, I couldn't quite work out how he got to Smuggler's Cove so fast to buy a teleporter without a teleporter. Luckily the Usul's interview with the Kyrii started before my brain began to fry.

     Sally Usul was now standing next to my lawyer. She had her confidence back.

     "I am standing here with Advisor Wessle, legal council for the newly established Democratic Union of Mistreated, Despicably Used Meercas. Perhaps you would like to say a few words, Advisor Wessle," she said with something close to rapture.

     "Yes, Sally, I would," the Kyrii said, lifting the microphone from her paw. She relinquished it with a grateful look. "The members of D.U.M.D.U.M. are officially on strike. They are here today to protest the cruel practice of using intellectually challenged Meercas in the game of Meerca Chase. Until this issue is resolved, no one will be permitted to cross the picket line to play Meerca Chase."

     "And how are the negotiations going, Advisor Wessle?" the Usul asked, attempting to furrow her brow in concern, but not really succeeding because she was obviously happy to be getting a sensible interview with someone.

     "Not as well as I had hoped, Sally," the Kyrii replied.

     With a bunch of yellow Meercas standing around holding signs that read "DUMDUM ON STRIKE", I wasn't surprised.

     "But I am confident that the management will realize that even though these Meercas aren't the brightest lightbulbs in the lamp, they are very loyal to one another. As long as even one Meerca refuses to play Meerca Chase, none of them will. Thousands of Neopets are upset that they can't play this game. The management is under a lot of pressure right now to get Meerca Chase up and running again, so to speak. I am sure that this matter will be settled very soon."

     Stonewolf3x snorted in disgust and shot Reallyconfused a fierce look.

     "This is all your fault, you know!" he growled.

     The yellow Meerca, or should I say the gray Meerca, crawled out of the cold ashes of my Advent Calendar fireplace. He looked behind himself at the sooty pawprints on the floor.

     "Ooooo! Pretty floor designs!" he cooed with total cluelessness.

     Wolf rolled his eyes in exasperation and aimed his displeased attention towards me.

     "I'm going out," he snapped. "I'm not going to hang around here looking stupid like everyone else. I've got more important things to do."

     "I... was hoping you'd stay, Wolf..." I said, moving in front of him to block his departure. "We need you here in case something happens."

     "Nothing bad will happen if you do one little thing," he replied cooly.

     "What's that?"

     "Send the Meerca back to the Meerca Chase game."

     He turned and left out the back door with an agitated flick of not only his tail, but the agitated flick of the tails of all of his gang too.

     "C'mon, RC," I said with a sigh. "Let's go upstairs and play a fun game called Rub-Dub-Dub-A-Meerca-In-A-Tub."

     Reallyconfused clapped his paws together with happy anticipation.

     I grabbed his sticky, sooty paw and lead him up the steps to the second floor. Of course, I walked up the steps and RC bounced. It was like holding hands with a pogo stick. I ran a warm tub for him and he hopped into it. He was having such a blast splashing around that it was really fun to watch him. Then I got a great idea.

     "Hold on a second," I said with grin. "I'm going to go fetch Wolf's battle duck!"

     RC grinned back at me. I galloped down the stairs and headed for the gym where my Lupe and his Krawk kept their weapons. Technically a battle duck was a weapon, but it was also technically a rubber duck. I had played with it in the bath tub myself on more than one occasion-- when Wolf wasn't around, of course. I hadn't even made it halfway to the gym when I heard a knock at the front door.

     Oh, NO! a very panicky voice inside my head screamed. The Chia police are back!

To be continued...

Previous Episodes

Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part One

Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part Two

Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part Three

Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part Four

Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part Five

Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part Six

Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part Seven

Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part Eight

Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part Nine

Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part Eleven

Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part Twelve

Never Play Meerca Chase With a Lupe: Part Thrirteen

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