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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 21st day of Eating, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 118 > Continuing Series > Jay and the Super Authors Strike Back: Part Two

Jay and the Super Authors Strike Back: Part Two

by erika_idle

Three creatures were flying through the clean, cool morning air of Neopia. Rosie, a Faerie Ixi, Sebastian, a Faerie Lupe, and Albert, a Faerie Chia. Two other creatures were making their way along by foot: a Faerie Aisha named Harriet and a very large rock named Spot. Harriet had hooked Spot up to a leash, but progress was still slow for him.

     Rosie did a 180 in midair, turning to look at Harriet and Spot. "Will you guys hurry up? I think I saw Mrs. Prenderghast down there, and she's beating us to the corner!" she called down at the Aisha and Spot.

     "I can't help it that I'm a slow walker! Writer's Blocks aren't built for marathons!" Spot called back, tears leaking down his igneous face, causing long streaks of rust to form.

     Harriet dropped the leash. "I'm tired. Let's take a break," she said.

     Sebastian, Albert, and Rosie landed on the ground next to their friends. "Another break? Didn't we just stop five minutes ago?" whined Sebastian.

     "Spot and I are tired! Right, Spot?" said Harriet, turning to Spot, who was still crying.

     "Fine," Rosie said, sitting down.

     "So, do you have any idea where we should go, Albert?" asked Sebastian.

     "Well, I was thinking of the Lost Desert, myself," he replied.

     "Why?" questioned Sebastian.

     Albert whipped out a laptop computer from his bag and began punching keys uncontrollably.

     Harriet sighed, and looked at Spot's puzzled expression. "It's a unnatural habit. In his mind, every question can be answered by a simple scientific explanation. In our minds, it's a psychological disorder," she whispered.

     Spot nodded.

     Albert looked up. "My hypothesis is this," he started.

     Rosie groaned.

     Albert sighed. "Fine. I'll spare you my hypothesis. I just was thinking that we might ask the late King Coltzan. He's fairly wise, and he might know where Jay is, or who kidnapped him in the first place," he said.

     Rosie, Sebastian, and Harriet nodded. "Good thinking, Albert!" exclaimed Harriet.

     "Well, let's get going! At our current pace," Albert said, looking at Spot apprehensively and lowering his voice, "we should reach the Lost Desert by noon."

     At precisely half-past noon, the five arrived in the Lost Desert. The sands lashed at their faces and burnt their scalps. All sorts of creatures ran around, carrying mounds of goods and draped in loose white attire that protected them from the harsh sands of the desert.

     "Now, where's Coltzan's Shrine?" asked Harriet.

     The five looked around, past the castles and tents, and in the far north corner of the village, there was a tall monolith. A sign, slightly battered from wind, clearly read, "COLTZAN'S SHRINE".

     "Is that it?" Harriet asked, pointing at the monolith.

     "No kidding, Captain Obvious!" growled Sebastian.

     "And her faithful sidekick, Duh!" responded Albert, wittily.

     Rosie glared at the now hysterical Sebastian and Albert, and turned to Harriet. "Yes, that's probably his Shrine," she said sweetly, not noticing Albert and Sebastian giving each other high-fives behind her back.

     The five wandered up to the tall shrine engraved with ancient symbols. An extremely long and twisted line of creatures from far and wide were lined up outside the Shrine, awaiting Coltzan's advice and needed support. The League took their place in the line behind a red Moehog and waited.

     The Moehog turned to them. "G'day!" he said, cheerfully. "Lookin' for the ol' King Coltzan?"

     "No kidding, Captai-" Sebastian started, but Rosie elbowed him quite hard in the ribcage.

     Harriet nodded at the Moehog. "Why are you here?" she asked.

     "Ehh... came off a bit on the worse side in a fight the other day. Hopin' that ol' Coltzan can help me out a bit," the Moehog said.

     "Oh! Who were you fighting? The Pant Devil? The Ghost Lupe? The Shadow Usul?" Sebastian asked.

     "Nah, none of them," the Moehog said, looking positively horrified at the thought. "I was fighting that Punchbag Bob. Mean one, he is. Got a mean streak, he does..."

     Sebastian opened his mouth to reply to this, but received another hefty punch in the ribs from Rosie.

     "Ah," Harriet said, struggling to find suitable words. She started many sentences, but never finished them. Finally she managed to blurt out, "Chipper weather for a Weewoo, isn't it, Charlie?"

     "Who's Charlie?" asked the Moehog. "My name's Neowriter."

     Rosie pushed her four companions onward through the line, and finally they reached the sand dune before the tall tower of Coltzan's Shrine. Neowriter the Moehog waved goodbye to them, holding a large bundle of burnt desert food that he had just received.

     "Okay, how do we talk to Coltzan, exactly?" Rosie muttered to Albert, as she waved Neowriter away.

     "I'm not sure," Albert muttered back, and began to start typing furiously on his computer. "Maybe it's got something to do with times..."

     Sebastian looked at him in pity. "What kind of king runs a shrine based on TIME?"

     Harriet had ignored the rest of the League, and had already approached the Shrine. "Oh, mighty Coltzan of much importance, give us your wisdomosity and generosity, and... and... magnificantosity.."

     "Wisdomosity?" hissed Rosie.

     But nonetheless, a ghostly shadow of the head of King Coltzan had appeared in the sky above. "I will do what I can to help you," it said, looking down at the League of Super Authors. "What can I do for you?"

     Sebastian stepped forward. "We need you to help us find a red Eyrie named Jay! He's our friend, and he's missing! Have you seen him?"

     Coltzan bit his lip in thought. "Hmm... can't say that I haven't seen a red Eyrie lately. I help many people, but I have grown to the age where I can't remember everybody that I see."

     "Grown to the age? You're dead!" Albert exclaimed, causing Rosie to poke him in the ribs.

     "So I am," said Coltzan, looking a bit puzzled.

     "Never mind that," Rosie interjected. "You haven't seen a red Eyrie named Jay? Have you seen anything remotely... well, odd happen lately?"

     Coltzan bit his lip again. "Hmm... I'm not sure. Many odd things have been happening lately, too many, too many..."

     "Like what?"

     But Coltzan seemed to be off in his own little world, chanting, "Too many... too many..."

     Albert sighed. "Let's go. He's seen nothing, and all we have as evidence that Jay was kidnapped is this little note," he said.

     "Note?" Coltzan said sharply. "I've seen a note. Got one yesterday, from some weird chap in a cloak. He just left it here, guess he didn't want it." Coltzan shrugged, causing two low-hanging clouds to change directions. Coltzan pointed to a small, wrinkled note that lay half-buried in the sand next to his Shrine.

     Sebastian ran forward and picked it up. Smoothing it out, he read:

     "Leeg uv supr athors:

     HAHAHAHAA! u hav net found uz yet! HAHAHA! u r smelly! & u r stoopid! j is nvr coming bak! we hav him! u thot he wuz @ coltzanz and he wuznt! u smelly stoopid supr athors! we hav teken him 2 a plaze dat dunt exist! soh u will nvr find him! HAHAHAHA!


     P.S. dis not wil self-deestuck ine tan sekkies."

     Sebastian looked at everybody else. "What's a tan sekkie?"

     But the question answered itself. The note grew so hot, Sebastian dropped it onto the sand in surprise. There it exploded, sending char and ash high into the air, and lay in a crumpled heap of smoking paper on the ground.

     "Tan sekkies! That was hardly tree!" yelled Harriet.

     Looking around at the rest of her companions, Rosie said, "Now what? We haven't any clues! Jay's obviously in trouble... but... Albert, what are you doing now?"

     Albert was sitting on the sand dune in front of the monolith, typing away for his dear life on his computer. "Carry a three, times pi, to the square root of the amount of time it takes light to travel..." Albert muttered to himself.

     Rosie, Harriet, Sebastian, and Spot sighed collectively. The line behind the Super Authors was beginning to grow restless.

     "C'MON! MOVE IT!"



     Rosie went to calm down the angry crowd, while Harriet, Spot, and Sebastian went over to Albert. Albert cried out in happiness, "I've got it! I know where they've taken Jay!"

     "Where?" asked Spot.

     "The land that doesn't exist!" Albert said triumphantly.

     "...and that would be?" Sebastian said.


     Oh, please, Albert, don't you know that there IS NO JELLY WORLD?

To be continued...

Oh! Erm... what will happen next? Will the (snort) Super Authors (giggle) make it to (guffaw) Jelly World? Will they ever rescue Jay? And not to mention Bill! Find out in the next thrilling chapter of... Jay and the Super Authors Strike Back!

Previous Episodes

Jay and the Super Authors Strike Back: Part One

Jay and the Super Authors Strike Back: Part Three

Jay and the Super Authors Strike Back: Part Four

Jay and the Super Authors Strike Back: Part Five

Jay and the Super Authors Strike Back: Part Six

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