|CAPTION CONTEST - While everybody is hysterically laughing at captions, I'm sitting
in a dark corner bawling my eyes out because of the funny captions. I bet you're
greatly mystified at my behavior. You are probably thinking, "Why would I cry
while reading captions? And aren't the captions supposed to be funny and witty?
If so, why not laugh at them? You wouldn't hurt the author's feelings if you snorted
at their caption, or anything. They were meant to be funny!"
Yes, I know my absurd behavior is very peculiar. When you think about captions
the way I think of them, you would have hot tears running down your cheeks,
just as I do. Now I bet you are thinking, "I am always going to laugh at captions,
no matter what you say! So there!"
Okay, maybe I am exaggerating a little bit. Wouldn't you rather burst into
tears when you read the funny captions on the Past Winners page? I know I personally
do! The thing is, I am definitely never any good at writing witty captions for
the caption contest. Whenever I think of a great idea to enter, it always turns
out dull and pointless when I actually get it thought out and typed. Sometimes
I surprisingly make the idea for the caption turn out funny, and sure to be
a winner. The problem with those ones is that they never actually get accepted
and put into the contest. Sheesh! By now I have completely given up on trying
to write captions!
So, whenever I read a hilarious, amusing caption in the caption contest, I
bawl uncontrollably, *cough* not *cough*, because I will never be able to write
captions like that (or at least get them accepted…)! That is why I try desperately
not to laugh at the winning captions. I am sure there isn't anything more annoying
in the whole wide world than someone else being a lot better than you at writing
captions, is there?
Before I go on, I better say this one thing. If you foolishly decide not to
read this, you may suffer from severe depression. So I think it's very wise
to read the bold, hopefully bright red words written in the rest of this paragraph:
I am not, in any way, shape, or form, responsible for any lack of interest you
may have while reading once-funny caption contest captions. If you feel angry
at me for making you think about captions in a completely stupid way, all you
have to do is pretend you never read the introduction to this article. Please,
please, don't Neomail me several times in the same minute saying that you now
cry instead of laugh as you read other users' captions, because now you know
the jealous fact that you can't write captions as good as theirs. Thank you
for your time….
Well, anyway, if you feel the same way as poor me, keep on reading. I have
put together a guide on how to write comical captions! Muhahahahaha….
I don't know how to make the caption funny and interesting! Help, help, help!
Don't worry, help is on the way! I am not that good at making captions funny,
but I can surely try and help a fellow Neopian out. This is something you do
NOT want to say:
Chia: I'm stuck in the mud! Help.
Chia: No. Not cool!
That is waaaaay to boring. I almost fell asleep just writing that! The characters
need a little more personality to make it more appealing. Also, don't Lupes
love Chias…. to eat? So wouldn't the Lupe be very excited if he found a poor,
desperate Chia struggling to get out of a large pit of mud? Instead of the Lupe
just saying, "Cool," he should say something like, "Perfect… I have my dinner
Here is the edited, more amusing version of that caption:
Chia *Coughing and struggling in the sticky mud*: Help, help! I'm stuck! Heeeeelllp!
Someone please help! *Flails her stubby arms in the air*
Lupe *Starring slyly at the helpless Chia*: Wow! A free meal! *Licks his sharp
teeth* Chia: Nooooooo! *Starts to cry*
Doesn't that one make you smile a little bit? Doesn't it make you picture
the Chia's fear and the Lupe, thinking about his dinner? That is the kind of
caption you want to be writing! Remember: If you think it's dull, so will everyone
Random ideas seem to win people's laughter over, too. Observe the interesting
caption picture for the most recent week that you are going to write about.
Does it have any unusual background objects, like a shy little petpet or a filthy,
rotten apple core? You can easily write something amusing about something in
the background, that no one else pays attention to or thinks is in the least
bit important. Randomness is often more humorous than the more obvious things.
Thinking of the caption in a strange, different way can also lead to funny,
random captions. What I mean is, coming up with creative ideas that no one else
would ever, in a million, quadrillion years think of, is more entertaining than
the usual captions. If you still don't understand what I mean, carefully study
what I have written below.
In caption contest number #305, there is a picture of a Chia, Meerca, and
Candychan in the foreground. In the distance you can see a straw bathtub and
toilet, side-by-side. I noticed most people, who wrote captions for it concentrated
on the things in the foreground. I also saw that the winning caption was about
the background, the straw bath furniture. The caption was completely random
and funny. If you are too lazy to click a few buttons to get the page yourself,
I have it typed below:
Orange Balloon [like a racetrack announcer]: They're coming around for the final
lap, and it's neck-'n'-neck... but wait! The Toilet's pulling ahead of the Tub...
no! The Tub is making a magnificent comeback... yes! I don't believe it! The Wicker
Bathtub has won this year's Bathroom Appliance Derby!
This caption is funny, creative, and random, just how most (normal) people
like captions! Instead of focusing on the usual, servonni, and many other accomplished
caption writers, instead looked at the unusual.
Help! I dunno how tuh speel rite, I also dunno how tu use punkuashin or
If you really couldn't understand what that title said, here it is translated
into English: Help! I don't know how to spell right, and I also don't know how
to use punctuation or grammar!
People need to be able to understand what you are saying to be able to enjoy
it! That's why you need to be able to use the correct spelling and grammar.
However, spelling, grammar, and punctuation don't have to be absolutely perfect,
because the humor in the caption is way more important that those three things.
If you spell a word wrong, people will forgive you… I hope….!
Personally, I hate reading things like this: Hey peepz! Wuzzup! I rilly luv
reading bout da caption contest. Its kewl. Do U?
Chat speak can be okay in some circumstances. For instance, if you are making
one of the characters in the caption talk like that, it's quite alright. But
you don't need to abbreviate every single word! Take two more seconds to write
correctly so people can understand it!
Spelling: Don't know how to spell certain words? There are a few ways
to find out the correct spelling of the word.
The easiest way to find out if your spelling is correct is to ask an adult
or someone who can spell easily. If nobody knows how to spell the word in question,
use a spell-checker or the *gasp!* dictionary!
Grammar and Punctuation: Read your caption aloud to yourself or someone
else. If it doesn't sound right, find your problem. Here is an example of bad
grammar for you to practice with:
Cybunny: I luv cheese it's so good do you like it.
Techo: Cheese is okay but I love oranges even more?
Cybunny: Oranges, i luv oranges even more then I luv cheese!
Here is the caption, if you would even call it that, in an edited version:
Cybunny: I love cheese! It's so good. Do you like it?
Techo: Cheese is okay, but I love oranges even more!
Cybunny: Oranges? I love oranges even more than I love cheese!
I know, I know, that caption wasn't the best example. But doesn't it sound
more fluent and interesting once you make it understandable? Personally I wouldn't
enjoy a caption as much if I couldn't understand half of what the author was
trying to say! I hope you understand grammar, spelling, and punctuation more
now through my pathetic examples and unhelpful tips! Hehehehe….
Wonderful word choice!
Word choice is very important to all types of writing. It makes your writing
colorful, enjoyable, and *cough* unlike my writing *cough*! Better word choice
makes a bunch of bland, boring words into a fantastic, thought out story, or
caption in this case. Try changing this uninteresting caption into a cool one:
Wocky: Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep!
Pteri: Oops, I forgot you were in here.
You want to say something more like:
Wocky *blinking rapidly in the bright light*: Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep!
Turn that light back off!
Pteri *startled*: Oops, I forgot you were in here! I'm terribly sorry!
Wocky: Humph! You STILL haven't turned the light off!
Pteri: *Turns light off and gently shuts the door*
That caption was more descriptive and interesting, in my point of view. I would
want to read that version far more than the other one…
Now I hope you will be ready for the real caption contest, and won't burst
into tears when you see other users' humorous captions!
What do other Neopians like to read in the caption contest? Keep reading…
I decided to go the "Help" chat board and see what people liked to see in
captions. Here is what they had to say:
poppi_m_demon: I like to read something that makes sense. I don't laugh
easily, it comes natural! Plus I love it when they add characters that aren't
even in the picture!
charlausa: I like to read funny original stuff. I also like to read
stuff about tiny details that you don't see! For example if there is a Slorg
that is hard to notice on the corner of the image I would like to read something
funny about that Slorg.
autumnfaerie826: like funny stuff that has only a little bit to do
with the picture. Also I like when it makes you think.
rose9vwl: like to read funny corny jokes that come from inanimate objects.
light_dragon_rose: i like to read something strange yet funny. Something
out of the ordinary
titan_girl13: like captions with funny comments that all types of Neopians
coriakin: I like to read something witty, that makes you think of the
picture in a different way than before, or makes you notice an expression or
little thing you didn't give thought to.
totoi_chiisai_yume: I like captions were things aren't being said.
Like I was reading through articles before, and it said: The sun was asking
the tent to move out the way, but it wouldn't. Things like that.
Bub: My favorite was the one that said: Neopian sitting at their computer-
I hope I win this time! That one really relates!
Did you notice almost ALL of the Neopians said that they LOVE to read about
unnoticed things? Or corny jokes? That's exactly what I was saying, and there's
proof that that is what Neopians want to read!
There is one more thing I have to add before I end this article. Neopets doesn't
really choose the most interesting captions all the time. They sort of pick
the entries at random, as long as they are appropriate. Good luck!
I really hope you all enjoyed this article. If you didn't, I hope you at least
got some good tips out of it. If you want to Neomail me regarding this article
go ahead. I don't bite!
Note: I really do like to laugh at captions; I just wanted to add some
cheesy humor to my article. I never feel like bursting into tears when I read
funny captions! I sincerely hope that you don't actually take my absurd advice
and try not to smile and laugh at captions! Hehehehe….