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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 17th day of Sleeping, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 110 > Articles > Faerie in a Bottle, Tell Me the Truth

Faerie in a Bottle, Tell Me the Truth

by shimmering_aurora

EMPLOYMENT AGENCY - In the center of the Faerie City, just beyond the Faerie Bookshop and before Queen Fyora's castle, there lies a grand building known as "The Employment Agency". If you venture through its doors, you will be greeted by a staff of friendly Faeries, who are all willing to help your pet find the perfect job.

Isn't it sweet? Just a group of Faeries kindly helping pets to become productive citizens of Neopia. Why there is even a Neopedia article about the agency, complete with testimonials from pets and their owners telling how it helped them become happier and wealthier citizens! Look at this wonderful quote right here:

Work was never in my vocab until my owner signed me up for some job bottling faeries. I mean, I'm supposed to be training for the Battledome, right? But I tell you, items nowadays are pricey and if I want to win I'm going to have to start pitching in or we'll go broke. I guess working is a good thing. -- Idyll_sword, a fire Lupe

See? This fire Lupe was given a job bottling Faeries, so he could… bottle Faeries? Wait a minute…why would the Employment Agency, which is run by Faeries, sign a pet up with a job to catch and imprison Faeries for a profit? Could there be more to this happy little business then first thought? Are those friendly smiles the Faeries give Neopians who enter the building or sinister grins? Where could I find out more about the Faerie bottling process? It was the last question that I had an answer to: Balthazar.

No, I wasn't going to go running through the Haunted Woods in search of the Lupe. Instead, I found two articles about him. The Neopedia article, which was an in-depth description of his Faerie bottling process, and a Gallery of Evil article, which told of the events leading up to him becoming a bounty hunter of Faeries. To sum them both up, Balthazar's family abandoned him in the Haunted Woods when he was just a pup. Hungry and thirsty, he crawled through the forest until he saw purple lights in the distance. When he asked these Darkness Faeries for directions, they laughed and pelted him with stones and twigs. Balthazar never forgot this cruel treatment, and it was the impetus for his Faerie bounty hunting. What started as a vengeful hobby is now a full-fledged business. Balthazar now wanders through forest catching Faeries in his nets, sealing them in jars, and selling them for a profit.

What does this have to do with the Employment Agency? Intending to find out, I rummaged through my safety deposit box in search of a Faerie I had won from Tombola a while back. My plan was simple: release the Faerie, have her bless my battling pet, and ask her some questions before she left.

"Hey, Sakura," I said cheerfully to my Eyrie. "I'm going to let this Earth Faerie bless you and then ask her a few questions concerning who bottled her."

My Eyrie stared blankly at me. "Where did you get the Faerie from?"

"Um… the safety deposit box."

"So you've been hiding Faeries from me?"

"No! I was just saving it for later."

Sakura rolled her eyes at me. "Sure. Anyway, let's just get on with it."

I uncorked the bottle and an Earth Faerie flew out of it. "Hi. I was wondering…"

"I grant your pet, Sakura_MoonRose, the ability 'Magic Pebbles'."

Before I could finish my sentence, the Faerie vanished in a puff of smoke. "She must be hiding something," I muttered.

"Either that or she's mad at you for keeping her in the safety deposit box for so long," said my Eyrie sweetly before sauntering off.

Well, that didn't work, so I decided to look up a certain company, Balthazar's Faerie Bottling Inc. One of the most noticeable things about this company is that it is now bankrupt. The oddest thing about it was some of its competitors. How are the Confederation of Fish Lovers and Mynci Banana Imports in any way involved with Faeries?! However, I can see how Meri Acre Sausages might compete with Balthazar. Ever wonder what those sausages are made of?

I also found an interesting event involving Balthazar, his Mega Faerie Give-away Bonanza. Every couple of days, Balthazar the Faerie Catcher decides to put 100 Faeries in the Money Tree. Now, was it this generosity that bankrupted him or is he giving these Faeries away because he no longer has a company to sell them?

You're probably wondering what any of this has to do with the Employment Agency in Faerie Land. You might be thinking, "Maybe that Lupe lied about getting a job bottling Faeries. Maybe the Faeries at the agency just made a mistake. None of this in any way incriminates them." Well, actually, it all does.

It all began when Balthazar's family abandoned him in the Haunted Woods. Neopians seem to want to blame everything on Darkness Faeries, but it was not these purple Faeries that Balthazar came upon in the woods - it was Light Faeries with purple job coupons. When the hungry and thirsty Lupe pup asked them for help, they agreed on one condition:

"We want you to work for us."

"What would I have to do?" asked Balthazar, for although he was weak, he had not lost his sense of caution.

"We are forming a new industry that involves bottling Faeries."

"Bottling Faeries… but why?"

"It's simple, really. A Faerie in a bottle will be worth a fair profit. When a Faerie is released, she will bless a pet and increase the popularity of all Faeries. In bottling ourselves we shall make ourselves richer in both Neopoints and popularity."

"Isn't that a bit…dishonest?"

The Faeries cackled at poor, scared Balthazar. "Dishonest? Who cares? The owners and pets of Neopia won't know, and you, foolish Lupe pup, shall not tell them." The Faeries then pelted Balthazar with rocks and twigs, causing him to have an unquenchable thirst for revenge.

It was their cruel treatment of him that made Balthazar decide that perhaps bottling Faeries wasn't such a bad idea after all. He started Balthazar's Faerie Bottling Inc, hiring a few pets to do the actual selling of the Faeries. However, he never really cared about the profit so much as the revenge.

Don't believe me? Then tell me, do you actually believe a bankrupt company could supply all the Faeries for the Tombola man, all the Faeries for the magic shop, all the Faeries Neopians find on the ground, and give away 100 Faeries every couple of days? How did the company become bankrupt when there is such a great demand for bottled Faeries? None of its listed competitors seem to be in the business of actually bottling them. Come to think of it, do you believe that Kauvara and the Tombola man would deal in black market goods? And if the Faeries are so grateful to be freed, why won't they wait for a single question to be asked? If the fire Lupe was given an illegal job, why would he have publicly mentioned it?

In the midst of lies, treachery, and deceit, is there anything we can be sure of? Actually, yes - if you're looking for job bottling Faeries, you don't have to go hunt down Balthazar. Just stop by your Faerie Land Employment Agency, where the friendly staff of Faeries helps to find the perfect job for everyone.

A special thanks to elemental_mystique for bringing that quote to my attention. May you finally finish reading the entire Neopedia!


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