Orb: Not Just Another Pretty Ball
MERIDELL - Before I begin my article, I would like to thank my mom, lastcetra,
who came up with the name for this article. This is about how the exceedingly
evil orb was controlling Lord Darigan, and how he was never evil in the first
place. If you are a Meridellian, and believe he was evil from the start, leave.
I truly believe this theory. Lord Darigan is my hero! Now, onto the article!
Now, people say that he is evil. You think that makes sense. So, you are saying
that the good guy that lost his orb, who never caused problems, and who defeated
the totally evil thief Skarl, is evil. It sounds ridiculous!
Okay, the guy who was all nice suddenly started acting weird. What do movies
tell you? Hypnosis! If that happens in a movie, it's usually caused by hypnosis.
Movies and TV shows like using hypnosis.
I'll admit that most of these don't use orbs. They use pendulums
a lot. However, when they swing the pendulum back and forth, and the person
watches it, in cartoons, it will usually be reflected back in their eyes. The
orb was reflected in Lord Darigan's eyes. Coincidence? I think not!
If you still aren't convinced that it wasn't his fault, listen to my story
of what really happened.
Once upon a time, there was an evil orb. More than anything, this orb wanted
to rule all of Neopia. Although it was exceedingly powerful, it was a ball for
crying out loud! So, it thought up a plan to get the world. It fell into the
hands of the Dariganians. Now, it knew it would be easier to find someone already
evil. So it used its powers to find a land in bad shape with an evil ruler.
This land was Meridell. It told Skarl about itself, and he came and took it.
Before long, however, the orb realized Skarl wasn't the sharpest tool in the
shed. So, it gave up its plans for him, because if he made a great plan, no
one would believe he had come up with it. So, when Lord Darigan regained it,
it used him instead. Poor Lord Darigan was so thrilled to have it back, he didn't
realize what it was doing until it was too late. Doesn't that make much more
If I can't convince you myself, let me remind you of the not-so-recent entry
in the Gallery of Evil. I can't believe they put him in there, but my point
is, they said that the orb used its foul magic and corrupted his once honest
heart. I'm writing a whole article trying to tell you it wasn't him, it was
the orb, and they just said it! And some of you still won't believe me! Argh!!!
Alright now, I have written you all a list.
100 Reasons Why Lord Darigan Isn't Evil and the Orb Is
1. You read the article, right?
2. Neopets basically said so in the Gallery.
3. Good guys do not turn bad in two seconds.
4. Look at him before he was fiery. He doesn't look evil!
5. I came up with a whole article, didn't I?
6. My story makes sense.
7. Doesn't the orb, with its wondrous magical powers sound a little too good
to be true?
8. Lord Darigan didn't start acting strange until he stared at the orb a bit.
9. Most people thought the Dariganians were evil. They were wrong. Most people
think Lord Darigan is evil. So, it stands to reason that they're wrong!
10. If Darigan were evil, Meridell would be good. If Meridell were good, they
wouldn't have taken the orb. If they hadn't taken the orb, there wouldn't have
been a war. If there hadn't been a war, this wouldn't have happened. If it hadn't
happened, you wouldn't be reading this.
11. He's nice! Ask any of his old buddies!
12. There was a long break in between plots #11 and 12, and him attacking. He
was fighting its power.
13. In plot #11, his eyes were red and yellow, but they're normally just yellow.
14. Perhaps, people kept assuming he was evil right off the bat because he looks
different. That is just WRONG!
15. Lord Darigan said the orb was pretty. Something seemed wrong when he did
16. Remember how you say the orb wants to bring goodness, happiness, and peace?
It got back to the citadel, and what did it do? Let me think… oh, right. NOTHING!
17. If you ask me, they seemed to be doing fine until the orb came along. Then,
nothing happens, with the added bonus of being minus one leader.
18. The orb did nothing to Meridell when it left them! It was aiding evil.
19. I've found that orbs tend to bring a great deal of trouble.
20. What has Lord Darigan ever done terribly wrong before?
21. He probably came up with the army ranks, and being an apprentice is a lot
better than being a peasant!
22. Guys like Lord Darigan that say "How pretty" either are crazy, had too much
sugar, or are in the process of being hypnotized by whatever they say is pretty.
23. He basically yelled at the orb for letting them continue starving, and then
decided he didn't care? It's abnormal to change your mind like that so fast!
24. The "oh-so-perfect" orb caused a war.
25. Nothing's perfect.
26. You can't come up with something that goes against all of these.
27. If you can, it's something stupid. "I said so" doesn't count!
31. The orb whited out those three, proving its evilness. (*looks around nervously*)
32. You say the orb's an inanimate object? The orb can float around and defy
gravity, so it must have a mind of its own.
33. It broke without help, so it has a mind.
34. Orbs are like balls.
35. Gazing balls are known to be evil. (Thanks mom)
36. Bouncy balls can hit people in the nose, causing a nosebleed.
37. Bigger balls can hit people in the head, causing memory loss.
38. Yo-yo balls can break furniture, and/or arms, legs, etc.
39. Jingly balls can hit cats in the nose. (Trust me, I've seen it happen.)
40. Little kids can choke on small balls.
41. Cannonballs can sink ships, destroy buildings, etc.
42. Baseballs can distract the hitter, causing them to through the bat at people.
(It's happened to me.)
43. Field hockey uses a ball, and watching that makes me feel like I'm being
44. Footballs can lead to tackles, and being tackled could hurt someone.
45. Orbs are like bombs.
46. Bombs blow things up.
47. Bombs can be used when fighting.
48. When the orb broke, almost everyone watching said, "Huh?" So, it confused
lots of people.
49. Bombs are like dynamite. Dynamite is used by thieves (like Skarl) to blow
50. "Bomb" also means a "flop", "failure", or "dud". The orb will turn your
plans into these.
51. It also means "to fail utterly". The orb lives to see that good
people do that.
52. "Orb" is an anagram of "rob". Which basically means the same thing as "steal".
See? The very word is evil.
53. After plot #11, Meridell was restored. Wouldn't Lord Darigan want to destroy
54. But the orb is their ally, so it wouldn't want to harm them.
55. If the orb broke, it could cut you.
56. Orbs are like turnips. (thanks mom)
57. Turnips muddle and confuse your mind. (Thanks mewluvr4ever)
58. The circles for weapons in Pterattack are called orbs, and they'll pop up
at the exact second when that's the worst thing that could happen.
59. The orb is gold. Gold makes people go mad with greed.
60. Gold is money. Money is the root of all evil.
61. Evil guys aren't nice.
62. Lord Darigan's nice to little ones. I know this.
63. Mewluvr4ever knows it too.
64. If it was the Snow Faerie, you'd have trouble believing she was evil.
65. But you didn't with Lord Darigan.
66. What did he do to make you assume he is evil?
67. There are lots of gold, round, shiny, evil things.
68. The orb is like a hubcap, which could fly off a car and hurt someone.
69. I know people that think he's evil, and they didn't have a good argument.
70. My mom once said there's trouble whenever there are orbs in video games.
71. The orb has lots of swirly things on it that move around.
72. When you see them, they make you want to watch them.
73. Is it far-fetched to say that might hypnotize you?
74. The self-centered Branston the Eyrie has a round, gold, shiny medallion
that he wears around his neck.
75. The orb is like a pendulum.
76. Pendulums are used for hypnosis a lot.
77. Pendulums are often on clocks.
78. Clocks can rule peoples' lives.
79. In plot #10, Galgarrath says that they caught hideous diseases. Now, as
these diseases aren't listed in the hospital, they must be supernatural diseases,
sent as a goodbye curse from the orb!
80. I had an orb-like thing that I always lost. It drove me crazy!
81. I've got another that looks like it has lightning in it, and lightning can
kill people. 82. People who have never been on Neopets like Lord Darigan.
83. He must have had a lot of patience to listen to Galgarrath (the big Grarrl)
talk to himself for all those years.
84. He doesn't seem like the type that would suddenly lose it.
85. Some great power must have made the orb, and if it was a good guy, they
would've said something.
86. Maybe its creator was Jhudora. Or Dr. Sloth. Or another evil guy.
87. So, the orb's either stronger than or obeying an evil guy.
88. It must be alive, because Lord Darigan was talking to it.
89. Before plot #11, I'd say Lord Darigan was completely sane.
90. My picture of Lord Darigan has gotten at least one person to join Neopets.
91. So, Lord Darigan is helping the population.
92. Would an evil guy really want more Neopians?
93. He's so nice, he even let Master Vex play with the prisoners!
94. His prisoners have it pretty well off!
95. He let Neopians run all around the Citadel.
96. It must be stressful, being a ruler.
97. But he always put on a happy face!
98. There aren't 100 reasons why he is evil and the orb isn't.
99. Why's that? Because Lord Darigan is kind, honest, happy, optimistic, patient,
generous, and has many other good qualities.
100. And finally, Lord Darigan cannot possibly be evil, because the orb is broken,
and so is its powers, and Lord Darigan is not causing problems. And, he is still
alive. How? Simple. Neopets cannot die.
So, now that my article has come to a close, I hope you all have realized the
truth of what happened on April 21 and 22. Lord Darigan, my hero, is not evil.
The hypnotizing orb is. I would like to thank lastcetra and mewluvr4ever for
some ideas, and gotengokutrunks and sunshine200912 for supporting me. I'd like
to thank you all for reading and understanding this. And, most of all, I would
like to thank Lord Darigan.
This article may seem outdated, however, this is a present-day warning!
We all know the orb broke in half, but what if orbs are like starfish?
What if those two pieces form TWO NEW ORBS?!?!? The World page says that in
early 2004, there is going to be a "Return to Meridell". That could be Lord
Darigan returning. I advise you to all grab your baseball bats, and go smash
the two orb halves into fine orb dust, and then burn that orb dust, so that
it cannot control Lord Darigan again!!!
And finally, if something like this ever happens again, remember this article
before you start making false accusations.