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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 17th day of Sleeping, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 108 > Articles > Traveling in Neopia: Word of Mouth

Traveling in Neopia: Word of Mouth

by wolfofthewoods

NEOPIAN HQ- Hello there, ladies and gentle-Pets, and welcome to issue number two of “Traveling in Neopia.” This week, we’ll be exploring Neopian tongues. No, not those slimy, bumpy, pink things in your mouth. I’m talking about languages, also known as dialect, argot, diction, phraseology, and many other words you’ve probably not heard of.

Neopia Central

Once again, we shall begin from Neopia Central. Here, we speak the more known language: Neopian. Although the word itself makes it seem that every single member of the Neopian civilization speaks in this tongue, it is not so. But here in Neopia Central, the majority of Pets do. Humans, however, verbalize in a roguish “Neopinglish.” We writing this piece are all members of Neopia’s original inhabitants, and therefore we are utterly against all Humanoid behavior, however barbaric or insulting it may be.

There are many a Pet in Neopia Central who speak the tongues of foreign places as well as Neopian. They generally have strange accents, depending on what their primary language is. So if you are visiting this bilingual country, don’t be afraid to speak to the shop keepers and locals, no matter how obscure your Neopian is.

Terror Mountain

Terror Mountain’s dialect consists mostly of normal Neopian, as there aren’t many inhabitants to speak of, and thus not much reason for having a separate language to confuse everyone with. You may once in awhile here one of the Ice Caves’ residents uttering a deep, menacing roar. Although this may frighten the less adjusted tourists or new home owners, the sound is perfectly normal, and is simply that of a monstrous ice worm trying to gobble up a foolish Pet who was undoubtedly making a false attempt to steal said ice worm’s hoard of treasure.

If you have arrived from the far breaches of Tyrannia, I highly suggest you leave immediately, as not only will the cold thoroughly affect your immune system, you will also be found helpless, and will most likely found yourself in something known as a “mental institution.”

Tyrannia

Tyrannia has an interesting — and perhaps head-throbbing — dialect. Their speech is made up of a variety of different pronunciations and variations of the word “ug.” “Ug” is the base word for the also-used “ugga,” “uggaugga,” and “uggashmugugga.” Beware when trying to haggle a piece of intricately made dung furniture from the shop keeper in the Jungle, for you may end up paying twice the demanded price.

Speaking of the Jungle, you should be aware that the meaning of “ugga” seems to differ from the rocks plains of the Plateau, to the foliage-enclosed Jungle. If the word “ug” is taken as a compliment near the Giant Omelette, be sure to slightly alter the pronunciation so as not to insult the Jungle monst— er, inhabitants.

Virtupets Station

As in our last edition of “Traveling in Neopia,” I’d once again like to warn you away from becoming a tourist in the satellite that is Virtupets Station. However, I will, yet again, tell you what to do if you happen to come.

Should you do so, be positively sure to give a maniacal cackle if anyone tells an “extremely funny” joke, and if you can, parade around the Station with the ever-moving pack of Grundos, yelling with them in unison, “All hail Doctor Sloth.”

If you do not know about the past happenings involving Sloth attempting to take over Neopia, I highly suggest you take a peek at “The Life and Times of Frank Sloth”.

At Virtupets Station, any language is considered acceptable. This is because of the handy-dandy translators that are handed out at the gate, so that you will understand the ramblings emanating from the large loudspeaker.

Krawk Island

Here in Krawk Island, there are very strict rules for linguistics. You will not be permitted entry to the Island should you not be able to utter the words “arr” and “matey.”

The locals will think of you as trodden-upon dung if you make a complete sentence without tossing in a “harhar!” here or there. You would definitely not want to be thought of as that, as the grog on Krawk Island is simply belch-worthy.

Faerieland

Faerieland is filled with the fluttering wings of the Faeries. You must always be completely respectful of them, as not only are they superior beings, but they can be quite nasty when it comes to spells. The best way to speak to a Faerie is swiftly, and with confidence. They can sense fear easily, and do not enjoy being thought of as frightening. Simply give a bow or a curtsy, and begin to move your mouth, while pushing words past your tongue.

You must be absolutely sure not to start with small-talk, because the Faeries simply do not enjoy speaking of the weather, being up in the clouds and such. They do not find imitations of Fyora amusing, and, from personal experience, you can be booted ten thousand feet downwards if you dare to insult the regal, elegant Faerie Queen.

The Haunted Woods

Not much to say on the Haunted Woods. There really isn’t anyone to talk to. However, if you waddle up to the Brain Tree, I beg you to speak as if you’re quite dim, and thus the Tree can flaunt his intelligence unheeded.

Lost Desert

In the pyramid-capped sands of Sakhmet, it is a rarely known fact that the mummified former-kings and queens do not actually speak. You can talk to them if you’d like to, of course, although, as was said for Terror Mountain, you may well end up in an institution.

The tongue of the sand-dwellers is smooth and silky, making even the stiffest of Pets be persuaded to do their bidding. To preven these Pets’ words from affecting you, use your mouth to speak to them in the same way they will to you, and their minds will be unable to penetrate this kind of defense mechanism.

The ancient language of Sakhmetians is very strange, and consists of unpronounceable words and symbols that mean absolutely nothing up to yet. There are numerous researchers attempting to decipher the written language, and perhaps sometime you’ll be able to understand this intriguing “code.”

Meridell

In this medieval village, the locals speak in a dialect known as “old-Neopian.” They commonly shorten words, such as, “it is” would be pronounced “'tis.” For instance, the phrase, “’Tis a marvelous day in this town, is it not? Where art thou, sad?” “Where art thou,” contrary to popular belief, means “why are you.”


This was edition two of Traveling. Please stay tuned for more rambling from us at Traveling in Neopia headquarters, and be sure to polish up your language skills before visiting Tyrannia.

Thank you, and goodnight.

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