Lae, my Fire Aisha sister, had entered a story competition
a few months ago; everyone at her school had. But I hadn't thought twice of it
-- truth be told, Lae hadn't either. It wasn't until an important looking envelope,
with a green stamp and address to a 'Miss Laeyan,' that she remembered.
"Oh," Lae said, picking up the envelope.
"Wonder what it is…"
"Probably inviting you to the worlds biggest
idiots convention," I smirked.
"Yeah, Lae's the president of that one,"
Jero, my Faerie Gelert brother, added innocently with a wicked grin on his face.
Jero could get away with being cheeky to everyone -- even Drushii, who would
only answer to 'Drushii' and nothing less, would allow Jero to call her 'Shii'
and be as cheeky as he dared.
"Shut up Jero." Well, almost everyone.
Lae finally managed to get the envelope
open and started to skim the contents. She reached the end and let out a shrill
scream, causing all of us (Zayei and Drushii had joined in the general nosiness)
to jump about 10 miles into the air.
"What?" I said, recovering. "Don't tell
me we were right."
"I WON!" Lae screamed, hopping round the
room with the letter clamped firmly in one paw. "I WON! OH MY GOODNESS, I WON
… FWEE! I WON! HAHAHA!"
"Excuse me for cutting into your general
excitement," Drushii, a Halloween Kougra, said in her calm voice. "But what
precisely have you won?"
"I WON THE STORY COMPETITION!" Lae shrieked,
still hopping. Zayei raised an eyebrow on his Tuskaninny face and looked first
at Lae and then at me, before returning his attention to Lae again. "Oh wow,"
she continued, her voice finally returning to her original octave.
"Explain?" Drushii grinned.
"My story's being published in the times…
front page! I also get 10,000 NPs!" Lae cried, her paws shaking with
excitement. "Oh wow, oh wow. I need to tell everyone!" And with that she disappeared
upstairs to Neomail everyone she knew. And then some more.
The next morning the Times was delivered, and Lae, to her great excitement,
found her story had indeed been printed on the front page.
"Oh wow!" she squeaked, her voice rising
several octaves. "Look! They even included an address to write to me!"
She paused. "I'm might get fanmail!"
"Oh great, that's all we need. Your ego
inflating to another dangerous level," I sighed, plucking the story from her
hands. It was actually well written, I thought grudgingly. Lae had thought up
a good idea, and as much as it pained me to think, it was good.
"My ego isn't inflated," Lae said in a
bemused tone, implying 'pot calling kettle black'.
"Yeah, and Doctor Sloth is really the
Soup Faerie," I retorted, silently adding 'and remember who feeds you.'
"You know, sarcasm is the lowest form
of whit," Lae said in a dignified tone.
"Yeah," I replied. "But you've gotta love
it." I gave a coy wink and walked off whistling, content in the knowledge I
had successfully wound up Lae before Breakfast.
The first of the fanmail came at around lunchtime, delivered via Neomail.
It was well written and Lae took great delight in reading it to us, again...
and again... and again... and again. By 2, all of us knew the entire letter
off by heart. And yet, she insisted on reading it to us.
"Dear Miss Laeyan," Lae read ecstatically.
"They called me miss, how cool? I am writing to you to congratulate
-- congratulate, me? -- on your fabulous story - hah, fabulous, beat
that Sari! -- I found the characters well built and 'rounded' -- rounded,
how cool? -- and the plot left me on the edge of my seat! I hope you continue
writing, yours sincerely -- blah blah blah. But how cool? Wanna hear it
"NO!" Drushii, Zayei, Jero and I yelled
"No, it's fine," I added. "Seriously,
I couldn't dream of spoiling your moment."
A knock at the door stopped Lae from reciting
her letter again and she disappeared. A few minutes later, she appeared in the
living room with a large sack full of letters. On the side of the sack was printed,
'Miss Laeyan, 3229 Ixi Meadows, Meridell.'
"Guess what?" Lae grinned. "More
fanmail! Let's read them!" She pulled out one letter and slit the envelope,
ignoring our groans of disbelief. "Dear Miss Laeyan…"
"Where's a timely random event when you
need one?" Jero murmured as Lae babbled on, either ignoring or not hearing him.
"I'd catch Neomonia to get out of this."
"That makes two of us," Zayei added, surprising
us all. It was a mark of how terrible the situation had become really, that
Zayei and Jero were willing to catch diseases to quit listening to Lae's ego.
And honestly, I was starting to wish I could get it, too.
The next morning, Lae came downstairs dressed in a long black dress and a
pair of sunglasses, despite the fact there was no sun in the entire country
(Meridell was in severe storms at that point.) and she didn't own a dress.
I realised, with a small jolt, it was actually my dress -- Lae had merely
cut the body in half. Without asking. With a smirk, she said to me, "I
would like pancakes, not too hot, with Syrup and a glass of strained Orange
juice. If you could bring the mail with you, it would be nice."
"Anything else?" I said incredulously.
Lae looked thoughtful for a moment.
"Oh, and vase of roses. Hand picked from
And with that she disappeared into the
dining room, yelling "Chop chop!" behind her.
The next day, Lae was getting ridiculous. She asked Zayei to give me an order
for the breakfast to be delivered to her room -- Faerie Pancakes (From Faerieland,
fresh!) and a glass of orange juice in a plain glass. She also asked for us
not to disturb her, as she was still 'swamped in Neomail, 'darling,'
and 'quite unable to speak to us.' But, she assured us; she could 'pencil you
in for a few minutes Friday.'
"This is getting stupid," I said as Zayei
told me her latest demands - her own study. "I mean, the breakfast was… a bit
over the top, but her own study? We need to stop her, before her ego takes over
"But how?" Zayei replied thoughtfully.
"I have no idea," I sighed.
"Are you sure this is... legal?" Jero whispered. "I know keeping to the law
isn't exactly something you care for, but I mean, Lae would kill us!" The reason
for Jero's fear was in front of us. 3 large bags of fanmail, all addressed to
'Miss Laeyan,' were piled on our lounge. We had decided to destroy them, hoping
the lack of fanmail might return Lae's ego to a semi-manageable state.
"There's no law that says you can't destroy
your own mail," I shrugged.
"But this isn't our own mail,"
Drushii pointed out hesitantly.
"Want to put up with Lae's ego?" I asked
"Anyone got a match?" Zayei said politely,
grinning. I grinned and reached into the sack, pulling out a letter.
"If we're destroying them, it can't hurt
to read one first," I shrugged and slit the envelope. I read the first few lines
and felt my jaw drop. "No way!" I exclaimed and pulled out a second one. And
then a third, fourth, fifth. "No way, I can't believe her…"
"What?" Zayei said, grabbing a letter.
He quickly read it and exclaimed in an incredulous tone, "She's got a nerve."
Jero and Drushii both grabbed a letter from the bag, slitting the envelope
and reading through quickly. "Jeez," Jero sighed. "She's written her own fanmail!"
He shook his head, grabbing a few more. As we read more and more of the letters,
it became apparent only two or three were real fanmail out of about 50.
"What are we going to do with them?" Zayei
"I've got a pretty good idea," I grinned
"Sari, phone CloudBunnie and tell her I have to reschedule the nine O'clock
meeting." Lae said lazily, coming down the stairs. I winked at Zayei.
"Sure, busy then?" I smiled sweetly.
"Incredibly. These fans, one person's
asked for my autograph," Lae said with a roll of her heavily lined eyes.
"Oh, you mean like a miss 'Lay?'" I said,
pulling out a letter. "It's amazing how similar it sounds to you. And this Mr
Liya. And another one.. A Mr and Mrs L. A. Eyan?" I smiled at Lae, knowing she
was caught out, but not taking any satisfaction, despite her lies and the fact
she's driven us stir crazy for 4 days, I couldn't bring myself to be annoyed.
That's what I told everyone anyway.
Lae, thankfully, had the decency to look
sheepish. "Could you phone Cloud and tell her I suddenly have an opening?" she
A week later, and we'd kinda forgiven her. True, I'd heard rumours that Zayei
had 'asked' Lae to weed his garden (No small feet, I might add.) Jero had Lae
give Spiceymeat a bath, something even the bravest of souls refused and I hadn't
even heard about Drushii. And me?
"Pancakes. Not too hot either, with syrup
and a sprinkle of chocolate. Now, chop to it. If you need to speak to me, I
might pencil you in for 5 minutes on Thursday, darling."
Authors note: Thanks chokatoh for helping me to think of a plot end ^~
Also thanks be to sweetviolet86 for proof reading! Feedback is worshipped, thanks!