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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 29th day of Storing, Yr 22
The Neopian Times Week 102 > Short Stories > Back in Neopia

Back in Neopia

by soggydude

"Excellent! Now, I just need to figure out what the best time would be to pull this off, and then…"

     Kirby0806, a white Lupe, was looking at a bunch of morphing potions. Every kind was in the collection, even Transmogrification potions.

     Flagg, the Black Fuzzle, looked at them. "Remind me again how you managed to get these."

     Kirby grinned. "I only took one out of all the who knows how many Kuavara gets every time she made a new batch. And now, I can pull off the biggest prank ever in the history of Neopia!" he grinned.

     "You've been saying that a lot."

     "I know, but this time it HAS to work. I just wait for when a ton of pets come for some gathering, and pour it into the drinks. Everyone drinks, gets transformed, and BOOM! My prank is famous forever!"

     "But what about the pets?"

     Kirby shrugged. "I'm sure that nothing too bad will happen. And if it does, I swear I will get Fyora involved in fixing everything!"

     "Your feet are crossed."

     Kirby looked down. "So they are. Okay! Time for something else!" He grabbed Flagg and hauled him out of the secret room.

***

Detective Lupe was in the kitchen of his NeoHome, making breakfast. He looked at the cookbook, making sure not to burn anything.

     Instantly, banging noises rang out through the house, as Kirby ran down with Flagg.

     "So! What's for breakfast?"

     Detective pulled out some toast, eggs, and pancakes. "Some stuff I found in the cookbook."

     Kirby took a piece of a pancake and tried it. "Pretty good." He ate some more, and then pushed his plate away.

     "Thanks, good meal gotta go bye!" He ran off, grabbing a can of Neocola on the way.

     Detective looked at him curiously. "I wonder what he's up to…" He looked around the kitchen to make sure that there wasn't anything surprising left for him.

***

Meanwhile, on some other part of Neopia…

     A bus stopped off at Neopia Central, and a boy with bushy black hair and glasses stepped out, carrying a flame thrower. "I'm back Neopia!"

     Soggydude ran off the bus, grabbing a few pets' paws and shaking them. "Hello random pet!"

     "Hello Chia police!"

     "Hello food shop owner!"

     "Hello pharmacist!"

     "Hello some owner I just met!"

     "Hello pets with straightjackets in their arms and… HEY!" He instantly fired a burst of flame from his flame thrower at the Neopia Sunnyland Asylum workers. "Can't I say hello to people without being treated like I'm crazy?"

     One of the pets took out a small book. "Uh, hold on…" The Aisha flipped through a couple of pages. "Let's see… according to this, no you can't." He snapped the book shut. "So I'm afraid that we're going to have to-GET BACK HERE!"

***

Kirby had decided to finish his plans later, and was watching the news with Detective, while Flagg was also looking at it.

     "So is this all there is today?"

     Detective rolled his eyes. "If you paid more attention you'd see just how much is going on today."

     "Don't they ever do that news flash thing where they interrupt whatever show you're watching to tell you something?"

     "If they have something important to say, yes."

     Instantly the words, "ATTENTION!" flashed onto the screen. A newscaster was reading a paper.

     "According to this bulletin handed to me right now, " said the yellow Techo, "there is someone going around shaking hands, paws, fins, or whatever you have, and telling you "Hello!" As of right now, no report of violence from this person has been reported, but be sure to call this number if you-AAAAHHH!"

     Soggydude had come in from what seemed like no where. "Hello newscaster!" He shook the Techo's claw. "Hello cameraman!" He went over to the camera and stuck his hand out. The camera fell over, and white snow came across the screen. Only voices were heard.

     "Oops… I can pay to fix that thing!"

     "A-HA! THERE HE IS!"

     "GET AWAY FROM ME! I DON'T NEED TO GO INTO A NUT HOUSE!"

     "We're only trying to help you, and-"

     FWOOSSSH!

     "OW! STOP USING THAT FLAME THROWER!"

     "NEVER!" The sound of running was heard, followed by, "STOP THAT PYROMANIAC!"

     FWOOSSSH!

     "I'M NOT A PYROMANIAC!"

     Detective and Kirby stared at each other. Without saying anything, both of them ran out of the house.

***

Soggydude ran out of the building, as ten pets ran after him.

     "Come on, slow down!"

     "NEVER!"

     "STOP SAYING NEVER!"

     "NEVER!"

     He looked around for an escape. On the left were ten other workers from the Sunnyland Asylum. On the right was a whole bunch of people who were watching with interest. And ahead was a clear path with nothing in the way.

     "Hmm…" Soggydude quickly ran to the right, waving his flame thrower. "OUUTA THE WAY!"

     Everyone leaped out, and he easily made it through.

     "Now where?"

     He took out an old and crumpled map of Neopia. "The marketplace might be a good place to hide." He quickly ran that way.

***

Detective and Kirby burst into the news station. Police were looking around the area, as others talked to people who had seen Soggydude.

     "Excuse me, but which way did the guy on TV run to?" Kirby asked.

     "That-a-way," said the Techo, pointing in the exact direction.

     "Thanks," Detective said and they both ran off.

     The police Chia looked at the Techo. "I'VE BEEN ASKING YOU WHERE THEY WENT FOR THE LAST TEN MINUTES, AND YOU GIVE COMPLETE DIRECTIONS TO A BUNCH OF STRANGERS?"

     "You wanted to know where they went? Why didn't you say so?"

     "I DID!"

     "No, you just asked for information ABOUT the person, not where he went."

***

Soggydude was now surrounded. Helicopters and flying pets were above, reinforcements and back-up workers were closing in, and two Lupes who were closing in guarded the only exit. He decided to take his chances with two pets and ran straight ahead.

     "ALL RIGHT, YOU ASKED FOR IT!" He raised his flame thrower.

     "WAIT SOGGY!"

     He paused. "Kirby?"

     "Yup."

     "Are you feeling all right?"

     "Detective?"

     "Yes."

     The next second, both of them were being crushed in a hug.

     "So, how are you guys?"

     "Uh Soggy, about the whole 'you're a crazy person who goes around shaking hands, paws, flippers, etc. and saying hello' deal…" Detective said while looking back.

     "Yeah?"

     "Could you PLEASE explain it?"

     "What? I'm just going around shaking hands, paws, flippers, etc. and then these idiots come up and say I'm crazy! I'm only doing that because I'm glad to be back!"

     They were suddenly surrounded by pets on all sides.

     "Okay, back away from the two pets and come with us!"

     Detective stepped forward. "Actually, he's our owner."

     There was a large pause at this. "You mean, he's a Neopian?"

     "Yes."

     All the workers looked at each other. "Is he usually that friendly?"

     "No, he just came back to Neopia."

     "Oh, okay." Everyone instantly began to leave. "Sorry about the whole trying to lock you away thing."

     "I thought you said you were going to be helping me."

     "Yeah… I mean, the whole trying to help you when you didn't need help thing." The Uni turned away and left.

     Soggydude looked at his two pets and smiled. "So, who wants ice cream?"

     Detective looked annoyed. "Are you planning on doing anything else we might have to talk to officials about?"

     Soggydude looked up into the sky. "Actually, there-"

     "What about the ice cream?" Kirby asked.

     "All right, ice cream, then I'll tell you."

One visit to the Ice Cream store later…

"So that's what I'm going to be doing."

     Kirby looked surprised. "Hmm. Maybe I could do something like that later on…" He gleefully rubbed his paws together.

     Detective looked a little worried. "I don't know. Are you sure everyone won't mind this?"

     "Mind it? I think they'll love it! But first, let's go home."

***

"Really? How did you do that?"

     Kirby grinned as Soggydude and he drank Neocola.

     "Well, I put this little thing in the soccer ball," he said as he held up a radio, "and I used this." He showed Soggy a microphone. "It has a nice range, and can override the radio's signal. So everyone was kicking the ball, when I said into it, 'STOP KICKING ME!' It was hilarious!"

     Both of them cracked up, while Detective rolled his eyes.

     "You should have seen their expressions. It took them an hour to figure out what to do, considering they thought they had a talking soccer ball!"

     "But how did you get it in there?"

     "Well, I opened the ball up, and then stuck the radio in there. I then attempted to put it back together as well as I could, but it didn't really work that well."

     "So how did they find out?"

     "This Ixi picked up the ball to look at it, and he dropped it. From all the kicking and stuff that had happened, the things I put on it to seal it up broke, and the radio tumbled out."

     Soggy shook his head sympathetically. "Ah well. At least you had them going for a while." He shook his can. "Hmm. I seem to be out of Neocola."

     "Actually, we're completely out. Think you could go shopping for some food and stuff?"

     Soggydude got up and stretched. "Sure. Anything either of you want?"

     After writing down everything, Soggy took his flame thrower and held it front of him. "Just like old times." He ran out, yelling insanely on the way.

     Both of the Lupes smiled as they watched him.

THE END

Happy 100th issue for The Neopian Times!


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