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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 5th day of Running, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 99 > Continuing Series > Neomitology, Pant-Devilogy, and Nutty Chocolate Pie: Part Four

Neomitology, Pant-Devilogy, and Nutty Chocolate Pie: Part Four

by bladen_kerst

“Okay!” exclaimed the Aisha. “Now that our pie is cooking, let’s start on the main course, Fruity ham!”

     “Hey, Flare,” whispered Guen. Her back was turned to the audience so that she wouldn’t further embarrass Aletra. “You were right! Coming to this show did make me feel better. The Neomites aren’t itching me anymore. Isn’t that strange?”

     Flare just smiled, thrilled that one of her plans had actually turned out as expected. The Uni gathered the last of the Fruity Ham ingredients and started toward Aletra.

     “Flare?” whispered Guen, covering her nose with one ebony paw. “Do you smell that?”

     “Now, to make the glaze for our Fruity Ham,” started Aletra, taking the bundle Flare was carrying, “we will use one crushed pineapple and one jar of homemade gooseberry jam. Combine– what is that strange smell?”

     “I guess it your cooking, Aletra,” laughed Flare. She quickly stopped though, after Aletra threw her an evil glare. “I think we better check the pie,” muttered the Uni.

     As the three began walking toward the oven, they heard an odd sizzle. Strangely enough, it wasn’t coming from the oven, but from the other side of the building. Even weirder, as the three discovered after turning toward the noise, parts of the building’s wall had started to dissolve. The audience members became quite uncomfortable as the sizzling noise grew louder. An almost transparent, blue mass, visible beyond the destroyed wall, began to seep through the bricks, reforming inside the building. Most of the audience recognized the odd creature as the Jelly Chia and began to panic. They didn’t flee though, no one wanted to see Aletra get hurt. The Jelly Chia moved slowly toward Aletra, Guen, and Flare, although none of them realized it’s ultimate goal was the oven. The Neomites came out of hiding, jumping up and down, waiting for the blue horror to get close to them.

     A loud crash distracted everyone from the terrifying scene. Even Aletra turned to see what had made the sound. All eyes turned toward a broken window, then followed a trail of glass to where another blue figure was. Only this blue figure wasn’t as fearsome. This blue figure was hopping around like a madman, trying to get a small piece of glass out of his behind. The Pant Devil stopped his crazy jumping when he noticed hundreds of eyes probing him.

     “Ouch!” he yelled. “I got a piece of... ahem... what I mean is... MWA HAH HA!”

     The audience looked around at one another, unsure of what to do.

     “You pathetic fools!” shrieked the Pant Devil. “Look how you cower before me! You are so afraid of my mighty strength!”

     The absurd claim drew small chuckles from a few of the audience members, making the Pant Devil furious.

     “You won’t be laughing for long!” he shouted, shaking a fist toward the crowd. “The Jelly Chia is mine! Together we will take over Neopia!”

     Even though the Jelly Chia was incredibly frightening, the Pant Devil wasn’t, and more Neopians started to laugh. Except for Acari of course. She stood completely stunned, not believing that the Pant Devil had enough courage to betray her.

     “None of you can stop me!” continued the Pant Devil, trying to ignore the soft laughter. He turned a camera, eager to expose his dark plan.

     “You Neopians watching at home!” he shrieked. “You will get to witness my powerful minion firsthand! First, we will destroy this silly studio, and then we will march for Faerieland! Fyora, be warned! Mighty King Pant Devil is coming for you!”

     Almost every single Neopian in the studio was laughing now, and many watching at home were too. Never had they seen such a hilarious spectacle, in fact, most everyone had forgot about the Jelly Chia, who was still making his way toward the oven, and more importantly, toward Aletra.

     “Why are you laughing?” asked the Pant Devil, quickly losing his nerve. He began to blush a deep pink, although it actually appeared purple on his sapphire skin. “Stop laughing! I command you! You better listen to your King, or else you’ll suffer dire consequences! I command you, bow before me, puny Neopians! Bow before the almighty King Pant Devil!”

     The audience roared with laughter, some of them even falling to the floor and clutching their aching bellies. Even the Jelly Chia, rolled around the stage laughing.

     “I... I...” started the Pant Devil. He was now blushing so deeply even his stomach took on a purplish hue. “Curse you all!” he shouted as he flew out the window, completely embarrassed.

     The laughter went on for several minutes after the Pant Devil’s departure. No one could believe such a silly creature thought it could rule Neopia. And to threaten to take on Fyora! What a joke the Pant Devil was! The laughter abruptly ended though, when a shriek of terror filled the building.

     Aletra yelled again as the Jelly Chia came at her. She tried to run from the it, but her legs wouldn’t respond to her desperate command. The Jelly Chia was only a short distance away. It seemed as if it was trying to speak, but when it moved it’s gummy lips, only a sucking sound came out. The Jelly Chia walked into three cameras, dissolving them into a murky, black liquid. It walked onto the stage, dissolving every appliance in it’s path, the odd sucking sound still coming from it’s lips.

     Flare bravely ran in front of Aletra, picked up a pot of boiling water from Aletra stove, and hurled it at the Jelly Chia. At first the monster seemed to slow, as if the scalding water had hurt it, but after a moment it shrugged it off, walking toward the scared Uni. Aletra just stood there as the Jelly Chia approached her, she tried to yell for help but not a single breath would come to her lips. It was Guen who saved Flare and Aletra in the end. Right before the monster got to the two, Guen dove into them, sending all three of them tumbling off the stage. The Jelly Chia’s intent became clear then, as it reached for the oven.

     “Now!” shrieked Acari.

     The Neomites hopped onto the Jelly Chia’s sticky back. Their plan was to inhabit the monster, and ultimately torture it with their painful bites. They figured the Jelly Chia would give in to them if they offered to stop biting it. For a price, of course. The Neomites would leave it alone only if it agreed to help take over Neopia. An evil idea, yes, but quite effective.

     Though the plan had seemed flawless, one small detail stood in the Neomite’s way. The sandy substance, salt, that clung to their tiny bodies had a terrible effect on jelly. . .

     Everyone who witnessed the next few minutes of the show agreed on one thing. It was, by far, the most disgusting display they had ever seen. As soon as the Neomites landed on the Jelly Chia, it made a disturbing, long sucking noise, as if it was trying to yell. It began to convulse, moving it gooey body in an odd way that almost seemed like dancing. It’s back started to hiss and dissolve as the salt took effect. The Jelly Chia flailed its chubby arms at it’s body, trying to find what was causing the problem. It was a futile attempt though, for it eventually melted into a tiny, wet puddle.

     Once the Jelly Chia was gone Guen raced to the puddle, noticing thousands of small black dots. The specks fled from the Kougra though, and hopped out a window. Guen realized those dots had been the Neomites that had caused her so much trouble, but she didn’t mention that to the audience that had gathered around her, their mouths hanging open in fear and disbelief.

     “Oh, Guen!” cried Aletra, happily. “You saved me, thank you so much!” Aletra wrapped her aqua paws around the Guen’s neck so tightly Guen wondered when she would be able to breathe again.

     “Guen,” muttered Flare. The island Uni looked terrified, her deep blue eyes darting from Guen’s body to the window where the Neomites had escaped. Guen realized her friend had seen the Neomites destroy the Jelly Chia. “What happened?” Flare whispered.

     Guen shrugged her dark shoulders. Why would those Neomites help us? she wondered. Realizing it was hopeless to think about, for the only way she could figure out what was going on was to track down the Neomites, she squeezed out of Aletra’s grip and helped the crowd clean up the destroyed stage.

* * *

Thousands of tiny figures dashed from a small window to a giant tree in Neopia Central. They dodged hundreds of colorful lipsticks, large sacks of Neopoints, and several barbed wire bits. Once they were safely hidden among Money Tree’s twisted boughs, the Neomites began to whine.

     “Quiet down, quiet down, everyone,” moaned Acari, quite upset herself. “It’s going to be okay.”

     “But,” started one Neomite on the verge of tears, “we destroyed the Jelly Chia! How did we do that?”

     “It’s okay,” said Acari, trying to be soothing despite the tremor in her scratchy voice. “I’m not sure what we did, but right now we just need to stay calm. The Queen suddenly remembered the Pant Devil’s speech. “I swear,” Acari continued angrily, “when I find that blue backstabbing moron. . .”

     Luck was obviously with her then, for a small blue figure swept down from the sky, greedily eyeing Neopians at the Money Tree.

     “Hey!” shouted Acari. “Get over here!”

     The Pant Devil spotted the Neomites and quickly landed on a branch of the Money Tree. Acari noticed his face was still flushed.

     “You idiot!,” said Acari. “What did you think you were doing?”

     The Pant Devil almost started to cry. This was the worse day of his life. Even worse than the day Guen and Flare gave him a fake Honey Potion. The Pant Devil was so excited when he received he didn’t even notice it was a fake. He marched straight to the Battledome and took on the Space Faerie. At first she just laughed at him, but after he called her a dozen different names, she went to attack him, and he threw some of the Honey Potion on her. Of course, it didn’t do anything except make the Space Faerie even more angry. She kicked his behind halfway across Neopia on that terrible day.

     The Pant Devil, realizing the Jelly Chia was nowhere to be seen, forgot the awful memories for a moment. “Where is the Jelly Chia?” he asked.

     “Our plan is ruined. The Jelly Chia has been destroyed!” yelled Acari. “We jumped on him, ready to attack him with vicious bites, but somehow we dissolved him. I don’t know what happened.”

     “You dissolved him?!” shrieked the Pant Devil. “What do you mean?!”

     “I don’t know what happened,” Acari admitted again, shaking her head helplessly. “He came looking for the ingredients, and when we inhabited him he started to dissolve.”

     “Why didn’t you get off of him?” shouted the Pant Devil, enraged.

     “We got stuck in his Jelly body!” snapped Acari. “He was too sticky for us to move!”

     “You idiots!” yelled the Pant Devil, jumping up and down on the branch. “What have you done? You are so incompetent!”

     The Pant Devil continued his barrage of insults, adding fury to the Queen’s emotional state. “I will not stand for such words!” she shouted. “Hold your tongue!”

     The Pant Devil, his blue body trembling furious, eyed the Queen dangerously. “You won’t STAND for such insults?” he retorted sarcastically. “Just what can you do about it? You couldn’t even accomplish a simple plan!”

     The Pant Devil began insulting the Neomites again. Acari finally had enough. With a quick nod to her loyal subject, she sprung onto the Pant Devil, and the Neomites followed her. They began biting and scratching the Pant Devil’s sensitive skin, which caused him to jump frantically on the Money Tree’s slim bough. With a sickening crack, the Pant Devil, the Neomites, and the broken branch landed in a heap right in front of the Money Tree.

     “I’ve had enough of your ignorant foolishness!” the Money Tree roared, locking the Pant Devil in a furious gaze. The Money Tree scooped him up with one massive branch, bent until his thick, barky body almost touched the ground, and with all his might, flung the Pant Devil across half of Neopia, much to the delight of all the Neopians watching.

     The Pant Devil, with the Neomites still attacking him, crashed through the roof of a small Mystery Island NeoHome. He wasn’t hurt though, luckily he landed in it’s soft cloud kitchen. The Neomites, dazed from the fall, dropped from the Pant Devil and landed on the purplish cloud floor. The Pant Devil quickly flew through the hole he made in the roof, howling with laughter as he fled.

     “Where are we?” asked one of the Neomites, looking around her at the somewhat familiar room.

     “I’m not sure,” answered Acari. She hopped on a cloud counter top, which oddly had deep claw marks on it’s fluffy surface.

     “What should we do?” asked another Neomite.

     “Well,” said Acari, glancing around the house. “We’ll wait for the owner of this home to return. Then we will inhabit them, regroup, and figure out another way to take over Neopia.”

     The Neomites, despite the disaster that had just taken place, began dancing and chanting, hoping the next plan would be better.

* * *

Two hours later, Guen returned to her Mystery Island home, tired from all the cleaning she had down on Aletra’s set.

     “I swear,” she muttered to herself as she started for her kitchen. “I will never listen to another word Flare says. Guen stopped at her counter and stared at the giant hole in her ceiling. “What in the world?” she exclaimed. “What happened in here?”

     A set of small teeth nipped at her ebony shoulder, followed by many more painful explosions down her back.


The End

Previous Episodes

Neomitology, Pant-Devilogy, and Nutty Chocolate Pie: Part One

Neomitology, Pant-Devilogy, and Nutty Chocolate Pie: Part Two

Neomitology, Pant-Devilogy, and Nutty Chocolate Pie: Part Three

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