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Neopia's Fill in the Blank News Source | 23rd day of Relaxing, Yr 23
The Neopian Times Week 83 > Continuing Series > Indiana Jub and the Wooden Spoon: Part Ten

Indiana Jub and the Wooden Spoon: Part Ten

by barrelofmalkies

Untitled Document Chapter Ten: Jub Jub Jujitsu and Doglefox Distractions

Carefully, Jubby and Digger made their way through the teeming maze of pets, bots and owners. The Warehouse wasn't hard to find, Jesenka had given excellent directions. Besides that, there was the tacky cardboard sign proclaiming "Grundo Warehouse" to the world.

     Our vertically challenged hero and his plucky petpet walked through the door, only to find a huge line of owners and their pets. Each one was holding a notebook, a packet of stickers, or some other piece of real-world merchandise. But no one seemed to be paying any attention to the item… they were all staring at small pieces of the different packaging, as if reading something in small print.

     "What's going on here?" Digger asked in what he thought was a whisper.

     "The owners have rare item codes from their Neopets toys," a baby Shoyru who was playing with a Babaa plushie on the floor nearby said. "They give the little Grundo up there the code, and he goes and gives 'em a rare item."

     Jubby patted the baby on the head, and used one of his multitalented feet to tuck Digger up under his hat. Using the distracted owners themselves as cover, he skirted the line and snuck into the Warehouse right on the heels of the overworked Grundo, who was so busy looking at the list of codes that he didn't notice a thing.

     Once inside the Warehouse, he stopped following the Grundo quartermaster, and went off in search of the Spoon. It didn't take him long to find the place he was looking for; there were big signs that said "Weapon Stash, Guards Go Here", probably for the benefit of the lobotomized Grundo guards.

     Two huge hulking examples of Sloth's Transmogrification Potion in action stood guard at a huge metal door. Jubby and Digger crouched behind some nearby boxes, trying to decide on a strategy.

     "Okay, here's the plan," Jubby whispered after a moment's thought. "The one on the left looks stupider, so we'll take out the one on the right first and hope he doesn't notice."

     "Sounds-" Digger started to say, but Jubby put a foot over his mouth. "Shhh!" Jubby hissed. "Whisper!"

     "Sounds good!" Digger tried again, his little voice barely audible. "How're we gonna do it?"

     "You go up and widdle on his shoes, and while he's distracted I'll do the Jubjub Toe Grip on him."

     "What? In PUBLIC?"

     "This isn't exactly public."

     "Then YOU widdle on his shoes and I'll do the Toe Grip on him!"

     "One problem with that. Your toes are too small."

     "I could bite him! I could bite him!"

     Jubby shook his head. "You'd never pierce his skin, and if you somehow DID, you'd get some kind of horrible mutant disease, I'm sure."

     "But, but, but…"

     Jubby gave an exasperated sigh. "I kissed Jesenka, it's YOUR turn to do something gross and potentially embarrassing!"

     Well, there was just no arguing with that kind of logic. With a deep breath and a slight swagger, Digger walked up to one of the two Grundo guards. He looked up, wagged his tail cutely, lifted his leg… and did what he had to do.

     "Hey! What you do, little doggie?" the dim-witted Grundo asked. He looked down to see why all of a sudden his feet felt warm and squishy.

     This was just the opportunity that Jubby needed. With a mighty leap, he was standing on the Grundo's beefy shoulders. In a flash, his gigantic toes were locked on both sides of the guard's neck. With a grunt of surprise, the guard's knees buckled, and he fell to the floor like a mighty Meridell oak.

     Finally, the other guard noticed that something was amiss. He looked over, and blinked his red eyes stupidly.

     "Hey Blarg, why you on floor?" he asked. Then he noticed the red fluffy growth on the back of his friend's neck. "Hey fuzzy berry thing! What you do to Blarg!"

     By this time, Digger had moved over to the other guard's shoes… and was giving a repeat performance. The cretin looked down, and gave a deep bellow of outrage.

     "Little doggie ruin shoes! Kersmash!" he shouted as he raised his fist to make Digger into squashed Salisbury steak.

     Jubby gave a mighty battlecry, and leapt from the neck of the fallen guard. He was a ball of feet and fury as he attacked, kicking and screaming in a fashion that would make the Ancient Training School Nimmos weep with pride. Within seconds, the guard joined his companion on the floor, covered in bruises that strangely resembled JubJub footprints.

     Jubby gave a little ceremonial bow, and turned to Digger.

     "You didn't have to do it twice, you know," he said with a grin.

     But Digger wasn't there to respond! Jubby looked around, behind boxes, even under the two guards… but no Digger. Finally, he turned to the door itself. It was open, and through the black, cavernous opening Jubby heard a distant cry of terror.

To be continued...

Previous Episodes

Indiana Jub and the Wooden Spoon: Part One

Indiana Jub and the Wooden Spoon: Part Two

Indiana Jub and the Wooden Spoon: Part Three

Indiana Jub and the Wooden Spoon: Part Four

Indiana Jub and the Wooden Spoon: Part Five

Indiana Jub and the Wooden Spoon: Part Six

Indiana Jub and the Wooden Spoon: Part Seven

Indiana Jub and the Wooden Spoon: Part Eight

Indiana Jub and the Wooden Spoon: Part Nine

Indiana Jub and the Wooden Spoon: Part Eleven

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